第567期:男人愛上女人的過程, 其實和女人的顏值無關

長的醜還是美，和愛沒關係

Reddit上有個女生的提問： “妹子們，你們是怎麼處理’長得不好看’這件事的？”
不少女生引用名言，如：“美麗不是我的責任。這不是我活着的意義。我不是爲了誘惑人才被生出來的。”，也有人回覆說自信不應該建立在外表之上，或是諸如此類的我們都很熟悉的話。但是，重點來了。
俗話說，女爲悅己者容，女生長的好看，除了給自己看增強信心外，很重要的一點就是可以成功獲取異性的注意。有個人的留言並沒有說美貌在和愛情中扮演的角色。而是很細緻的說出了一個男人愛上一個女人的全部過程，可謂非常精彩。
相信這位對外貌不自信的女孩看到他的留言後，會更加客觀看待自己，真實接受自己。畢竟，人無完人，但是每個人都有可能收穫屬於自己的愛情，而這與外貌則沒有特別直接的關係。

New Words:

mesh vt. （使） 吻合; 相配，匹配;
earlobe n. 耳垂;
belly-laugh 縱情大笑; 哈哈大笑;
filter n. 濾光器; 濾色鏡;
participatory adj. 供人分享的;
sublime adj. 莊嚴的；令人崇敬的；極
frumpy adj. 單調乏味的; 衣着邋遢的

Sometimes, a guy will meet a girl and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small, one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her earlobe meets her face.
有時候，一個男生遇到一個女生，他心裏沒有一絲波動，她有可能是同事，同學，或者是哥們的朋友。在他心裏，她們被歸爲“女性，熟人，不喜歡不討厭”那一類。然後，他開始進一步瞭解她，如果他倆個性的齒輪剛好完美的卡在了一起。在男人腦中，神奇的事情發生了。他開始注意那個女生的外表，各種令人愉悅的小事。從很細微處開始，有一天，他發現自己特別喜歡看她鼻子的線條，或者她耳垂和臉部的交界處。

It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.
這種感覺難以解釋，也難以形容。男人只知道，看着她的這個部分，讓他感覺特別開心。
他想要更多這樣的快樂。他開始注意到她的表情，有可能是她的捧腹大笑，有可能是她焦慮時緊皺的眉頭。他感覺他的心要融化了。

They stay friendly for a while, get to know each other better.

Then, one day, she hugs him he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.
他們做了一段時間的朋友，更進一步瞭解了對方。然後有一天，他們分開時互相擁抱。她離開後，他腦子裏還是一遍一遍得回想着剛纔的那個擁抱。開車出去時，腦子裏出現的不再是從前的白日夢，全是她的身影，腦子裏不由自主的搭建起一幕幕關於她的各種片段。

Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and 's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good.
很快，這個男人發現，只要自己看一眼這個女人，他就感覺特別美妙。他喜歡她的曲線，她的聲音，她的味道…她漸漸從一張黑白照片變成一個帶有環繞立體聲的3D彩色電影，一部能讓他快樂的完美電影。

He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in this world. To him, she is perfect and beautiful.
他開始思考，怎麼才能讓她留在自己身邊，怎麼才能讓她開心。他意識到，他喜歡看着她，勝過地球上的其他所有人。對他來說，她是完美的，美麗的。

A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.
當一個男人愛上一個女人，中間會有一層濾鏡。他看到的她，不是鏡子中的她。而是一個美麗、完美、崇高的女人。這是他人生中感受到的強度最大的感覺之一。

Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
去看看那些結婚幾十年的老夫妻，看看那個男人的眼神。當然，他可能依然會欣賞那些瑜伽褲裏的完美臀型。但你看看他看老伴時的眼神。如果你觀察的夠仔細，也許你可以從他的眼神中觀察到濾鏡的開啓。在那個時刻，他看到不是我們看到的衣着邋遢的空巢老人。他看到的是無比美好的事物。

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