人之將死,其言也善:生命終結時五大遺憾大綱

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

沒有提到更多性或蹦極。曾經在將死之人最後日子裏勸慰他們的一名護士揭示了在生命最後最常見的遺憾。排在前列的有，特別是來自男性的“我希望我沒有如此辛苦地工作”。

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Bronnie Ware是一名澳大利亞護士，她花了好幾年時間致力於臨終關懷，在病人生命的最後12周照顧他們。她在一篇叫 《Inspiration and Chai》 的博客中記錄了他們臨死前的頓悟，這聚集了太多的關注，以至於她把自己的觀察寫到一本叫《將死之人的五大遺憾》的書裏。

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Ware寫到了人們在生命最後獲得的異常清晰的遠見以及我們如何從他們的智慧中學習。 “當被問到他們任何的遺憾或任何他們會完全不同地處理的事時，”她說，“相同的主題一次又一次地出現。”

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

這裏是將死之人的五大遺憾，正如Ware所見證的那樣：

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

1．我希望我能有勇氣過一種忠於自己的生活，而不是其他人希望我過的生活。

“這是所有人最常見的遺憾。當人們意識到他們生命即將結束以及清楚地回顧往昔，很容易看到很多夢想都不曾實現。大多數人沒有兌現甚至一半的夢想且將不得不死去，知道這是由於他們做出的或沒有做的選擇。很少人意識到健康會帶來自由直到他們不再擁有它。”

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

2．我希望我沒有如此辛苦地工作。

“這是來自於我護理過的每個男性病人的遺憾。他們錯過了孩子的青少年和妻子的陪伴。女性也談到這個遺憾，但大多數是來自於老年一代，許多女性病人不曾養家餬口。所有我照顧過的男性病人都對耗費那麼多生命在工作中存在的枯燥乏味而深感遺憾。”

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

3．我希望我能有勇氣表達我的感受。

“爲了與他人和平共處很多人都抑制他們的感情。因此，他們滿足於平庸的存在，從來沒有成爲他們真正能夠成爲的人。許多人因爲他們深藏的痛苦和仇恨而抑鬱得病。”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

4．我希望我能和朋友們保持聯繫。

“他們常常不會真的意識到老朋友的好處直到臨死前的幾個星期，通常不可能追蹤他們。許多人因爲深陷於自己的生活讓黃金般的友誼隨着歲月流逝而溜走。有很多人深深後悔沒有給予友誼應得的時間和精力。每個人在臨終的時候都會想念他們的朋友。”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

5．我希望我能讓自己更快樂。

“這是一個令人驚奇的常見遺憾。很多人直到最後才意識到幸福是一種選擇。他們被困在舊的方式和習慣中。所謂熟悉的“舒適感”氾濫於他們的情感，以及他們的物質生活。當內心深處渴望適時大笑和在生活中再次犯傻時，對變化的恐懼讓他們對他人、對自我假裝滿足。”

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

到目前爲止你最大的遺憾是什麼，你會在你死之前開始完成或改變嗎?