雙語:If You Love Her Enough 只要你愛得夠深

My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest. Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

我的一個朋友約翰總是有很多話和我說。他深知年輕人需要年長的、有見識的人來教會他們一些事情，諸如應該相信誰，怎樣關心別人，以及怎樣讓自己的生命盡其所能。最近，約翰的妻子珍妮特去世了。八年來，珍妮特一直與癌症抗爭，但是最後去還是無法從病魔的手中逃出。

One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

有一天，約翰從他的錢包拿出一張摺疊着的紙。他告訴我，這是他在家裏清理抽屜的時候無意找到的。這是一份珍妮特的小情書，我們會以爲它可能不過是學生妹對自己的白馬王子的胡言亂語罷了。但是這份小情書裏面卻盡是約翰和珍妮特之間款款深情的見證，這是一個有七個孩子的女人寫的，她與病魔奮力抗爭，即使她知道自己可能只有幾個月的時間了。

It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together. Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."

這也是對於如何維繫婚姻的最好解答。珍妮特對於自己丈夫的描述是這樣開始的：“始終深愛我，不辭辛勞地照顧我，無論何時都關心我。”

Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.

即使約翰的心中一直都對珍妮特的病情清楚，但他從來不拿癌症的事情開玩笑。有的時候他晚上回到家，發現珍妮特再一次處在癌症帶來的沮喪之中的時候，他每次都會送她上車，然後去她最愛的飯館好好開心一下。

He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

"Forgave me a lot."

"Stood by my side."

他關心她，而珍妮特或許比約翰更深知這份關心。這就是所謂的你不可能把一些感情藏起來，因爲對方比你更瞭解你。

“在我需要的時候一直關心着我。”接下來的一句這樣寫到。或許珍妮特是在癌症有所緩解的時候寫下這些文字的。癌症還沒有被發現的時候，兩人的生活日復一日，都以爲日子會這樣繼續，如果可以甚至希望永遠。

“對我總是很包容。”

“始終在我身邊陪伴。”

And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me where she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

接下來一句對於那些喜歡給對方一些建設性批評的人很有借鑑作用，他們以爲批評是一種神聖的責任，其實不然：“總是會誇獎我。”

“總是可以讓我得到我想要的。”她緊接着寫到。

這句之後她翻過紙在背面補充到：“熱情、幽默、善良、體貼。”而她最愛這個和她生活的丈夫的一點是：“他總是會在你需要的時候出現。”

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."

我站在約翰的身邊，我不能裝作我知道失去至愛的感受，就像約翰失去珍妮特一樣。我想聽一聽他真正想說的是什麼，而不是那些他不得不說的套話。

我說：“約翰，即使不說癌症的那些日子，你怎麼可以和一個人生活38年毫無厭倦呢？如果有一天我的妻子也得病，我怎麼知道自己能不能一直守候在她的身邊呢？”

他平靜地說：“你一定可以，只要你愛得夠深。”