如何再次愛上另一半
The saying goes that you can’t help who you fall in love with, and sometimes you just fall out of it too.
俗話說得好：你無法控制自己愛上誰，也無法控制自己不愛誰。
But a new study has found that we can in fact control our hearts with our heads more than we thought - psychologists from the University of Missouri-St. Louis and Erasmus University Rotterdam found that it’s possible to wilfully increase or decrease how much you love someone.
但一項新的研究發現：事實上，我們的頭腦對心的控制遠比我們想象的大得多——密蘇里大學聖路易斯分校和鹿特丹伊拉斯謨大學的心理學家發現：我們可以有意識的增加或減少對某人的愛，這是可能的。
It’s called ‘love regulation’.
這就叫做‘愛情調節’。
The researchers studied 40 people, twenty of whom were in a long-term relationship, and the other half having recently come out of one - the average time since the break-up was three months.
研究人員對40人進行了研究，其中20人已戀愛了很長一段時間，另外一半則剛剛失戀——平均失戀時間爲3個月。
Each participant was asked to bring in 30 pictures of their current or ex-partner. First, they were asked how infatuated with and attached to the person they felt and had their brainwaves measured - the researchers particularly looked at the Late positive Potential (LPP) brainwave, which becomes stronger when we focus on something emotionally relevant.
研究員們要求每一位受試者攜帶30張現任或前任的照片。首先，研究人員們詢問受試者對照片之人的迷戀和喜愛程度，並測量了他們的腦波——研究員們尤其關注了晚正電位（LPP）腦波，當我們專注於情感相關之事時，晚正電位會變得更強。
The participants were then told to look at the pictures and think positive thoughts about their partner, their relationship and their future together, before their brain waves and feelings were measured again.
然後，在又一次測量他們的腦波和情感前，研究員們讓受試者看着圖片，並積極思考另一半、情感關係以及共同的未來。
But can we really control love? “Control implies suppressing it and being king or queen of it,” Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David told The Wall Street Journal.
但我們真的可以控制愛嗎？“控制意味着抑制或是成爲其王或後，”哈佛醫學院心理學家蘇珊•大衛在接受《華爾街日報》的採訪時說道。
So even if we can’t actually control love, we can shape it.
所以即使我們不能控制愛，我們也能塑造愛。
How to fall back in love
如何再次墜入愛情
* Make small changes - whether that’s hugging your partner before leaving for work in the morning or greeting them warmly when you come back, it can make a difference.
* 做出細小的改變——不管是早晨上班前擁抱另一半還是回家時熱情的問候他們，都能使一切變得不一樣。
* Smile at them - smiling releases the feel-good chemical dopamine and they’ll likely smile back too.
* 對他們微笑——微笑會分泌感覺良好的化學物質多巴胺，反過來，他們也很有可能對你微笑。
* Think positively - focus on the things you like about your partner, imagine happy times in the future and write them down.
* 思想樂觀——專注於你喜歡對方的那些方面，想象未來的美好時光，並將這些付諸紙筆。
* Don’t sweat the small stuff - try not to resent your partner for failing to take the bins out or leaving pants on the floor, and remember they didn’t do it because they don’t love you.
* 不要爲小事煩惱——不要因爲另一半沒有倒垃圾或把褲子扔在地板上而怨恨他們，也不要以爲他們沒有那樣做是因爲不愛你。
* Try new things together - it’s proven to help couples feel more attracted to each other.
* 一起嘗試新鮮事物——已有人證明這樣能讓情侶更愛彼此。
* Ask questions - just like you probably did when you first met, ask each other about your hopes and dreams again.
* 問問題——就像初次遇見時一樣，現在的你們也可以再問一問對方的願望和夢想。
