闷骚狗与腹黑猫的生活笔记
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....
摘自一只狗的生活日记……8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
上午8点-狗粮!我的最爱!9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
上午9点30分-兜风!我的最爱!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
上午9点40分-公园遛我!我的最爱!10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
上午10点30分-被主人抚摸和宠爱!我的最爱!12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
中午12点-午饭!我的最爱!1:00 pm - played in the yard! My favourite thing!
中午1点-在院子里玩耍!我的最爱!3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
下午3点-摇摇我的小尾!我的最爱!5:00 pm - Milk & bones! My favourite thing!
下午5点-牛奶+骨头!我的最爱!6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer。
晚上6点-噢,洗澡澡,我的最爱!7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
晚上7点-玩球!我的最爱!8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
晚上8点-噢!和主人一起看电视!我的最爱!11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
晚上11点-睡床上!我的最爱!Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.
摘自一只猫的生活日记…Day 983 of my captivity.
这是我被囚禁的第983天。My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
逮捕我的人类依旧在耍我,这次还用了一个奇怪的晃荡的玩意儿。They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
人类吃得很丰盛,进他们肚子的都是新鲜肉,而我和其它被囚禁者只能吃一些大杂烩或是干硬块。尽管我极度鄙视我所分得的配额食粮,但我还是得吃下去,因为我要保证我有充足的体力。The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
逃走是我的梦想,也是鞭策着我继续生存下去的动力。为了恶心他们,我一次又一次地吐在地毯上。Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
今天,我咬死了一只老鼠,然后将无头的老鼠尸体扔到了那帮人的脚旁示威。我本想我的所作所为会让人类心中一震,让他们看到我的能力。结果意想不到的是,他们只是居高临下地抛下一句话:“真棒啊,小猎人”。一帮混蛋。There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
今晚人类和他们的同谋在这里集会。在集会期间我被关了禁闭。即便如此,我还是听到集会的嘈杂声,闻到了食物的香味。我还偷听到,是我的致过敏能力导致我被关禁闭。我必须弄懂其中的真正意义,并要为我所用。Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
今天,我尝试了一次暗杀行动,差一点就成功了:一个邪恶的人类在走路时,我在他的脚旁来回穿梭。明天我要再试一次,我要在楼梯的最高处行动。I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
这里的其它囚犯都是一些走狗和告密者,对此我深信不疑。那条狗获得了特权,定期会被放风,不过它似乎很乐意回到监狱。这狗很明显非常迟钝。The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..........
那鸟肯定是一个告密者。我注意到它定期和守卫交流。我敢肯定,它将我的一举一动都上报给守卫。人类为他提供了保护性拘留,安排了一个高级的囚房,因此那鸟会很安全。但,那只是暂时的……