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經典外國幽默笑話四則

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笑話是一種增強快樂的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情節簡單,文筆巧妙的形式出現,給人以出乎意料,並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面本站小編為大家帶來外國經典幽默笑話四則,希望大家喜歡!

經典外國幽默笑話四則

外國經典幽默笑話:補洞

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

丈夫下班回到家裡,發現自己的新娘心緒煩亂。“我心裡太難受了,”她說。“我在給你熨西裝時把褲子的臀部燒了個大洞。”

“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“沒事兒,”丈夫安慰她說。“你忘了我這套衣服有兩條褲子。”

“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”

“是的,”妻子高興地說,“幸虧你還有一條,我後來就用它來補了這個洞了。”

外國經典幽默笑話:健忘症

An older lady gets undressed and starts to get into the bathtub. She gets about halfway into the tub and thinks, "Was I getting into the tub or getting out?”

一個上了年紀的女人脫了衣服準備去洗澡。她剛把一隻腳邁進浴缸就想:我是打算進去呢?還是正要出去?

She calls out, "Bernice! Was I getting into the bathtub or getting out?"

她大聲喊:“伯尼斯!我這是正要去洗澡還是打算要出來呢?”

Bernice says, "Well I don’t know. I' 11 have to come up and look.” Bernice starts walking up the stairs to the bathroom, gets halfway up and thinks to herself, “Was I going up the stairs or down? " She calls out "Sally! Was I going up or down the stairs?”

伯尼斯說:“我不知道,我這就上去看看。”伯尼斯開始往樓上的浴室走,走到一半時想到:我這是要上樓呢還是下樓?她大喊:“莎莉!我這是要上樓呢還是要下樓呢?”

Sally, who is just being with Bernice down in the living room calls back,“How should I know?” and thinks to herself, “I' m glad I’m not losing my mind like the other people in this house.”

剛還和伯尼斯在樓下客廳裡的莎莉喊:“我怎麼知道?”她自己想:我真的很高興我不像這個屋子裡的其它人一樣沒記性。

外國經典幽默笑話:是誰偷的車

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

卡爾森被指控盜竊一輛賓士轎車,經過長時間的審訊,陪審團將他無罪釋放。之後,卡爾森找到了聽證會上主持的法官。

“Your honor,” he said, “I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.”

“法官大人,”他說,“我想申請一張逮捕令抓捕那個骯髒的律師。”

“Why?” asked the judge, “He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?”

“為什麼?”法官問,“他讓你贏得了無罪釋放。難道他有什麼罪嗎?”

“Well,your honor,”replied Carlson, “I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.”

“是的,法官大人,”卡爾森回答,“我沒有錢付我的律師費,他就把我那輛偷來的車開走了。”

外國經典幽默笑話:以色列的計程車

An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything, feeling himself a "guest" and not wanting to make waves.

一個美國遊客在以色列打了一輛計程車。使這個美國遊客震驚的是,當計程車開到紅燈底下的時候,司機根本沒有減速就直著衝了過去。雖然他很吃驚,但他什麼也沒說。他覺得自己是個遊客不應該找麻煩。

The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and,to the American' s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver: "Listen,” he says ,“ when you went through the red light, I didn't say anything. But, why, in heaven’s name,are you stopping at a green light?!”

一切都很順利,直到下一個十字路口。這回是綠燈,可讓美國人驚愕的是那個司機踩剎車停了下來。他再也憋不住了,就問司機:“我問你,剛才你闖紅燈我什麼都沒說,可這回是綠燈為什麼你卻停了下來?”

The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: "Are you crazy?!” he shouts. "The other guy has a red light一do you want to get us killed?!”

那個以色列司機看著那美國人,驚訝的喊道:“你瘋了嗎?另一個司機現在正要闖紅燈,難道你想找死嗎?”