遇上暴君僱主，應該怎麼做？

Some recent research about employees who deal with abusive bosses shows that a well-intentioned study of workplace behavior can produce findings that confound the researchers’ predictions. This research found one unsurprising result; but another part of the findings - which puzzled the researchers — is what caught my eye.

最近關於員工如何應對老闆虐待的一些研究表明，出於善意去研究職場行爲，可以產生出不同於研究人員預測的結果。這項研究發現了一個令人驚訝的結果，但研究結果的另一部分，也就是使研究人員感到困惑的那一部分卻引起了我的注意。

To explain, the research surveyed the ways in which employees behave when working for abusive bosses. Those are often people who are narcissistic, denigrating, arrogant and unsupportive — or outright undermining — of employee’s learning and development.

爲了得到解釋，研究調查了員工在受到老闆虐待時的行爲表現。那些老闆常常很自戀，詆譭員工，還很傲慢。他們從不支持，甚至會直接破壞員工的學習和發展。

The unsurprising part of the findings was that just trying to avoid the abusive boss or plotting ways to retaliate didn’t work. That made things worse for the employee, according to the study, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology and summarized by Jena McGregor in the Washington Post.

意料之中的一個調查結果是，僅僅想躲開老闆的虐待或者密謀報復都是行不通的。根據《應用心理學雜誌》發表的研究報告以及Jena McGregor在《華盛頓郵報》中的總結，對員工來說，這些行爲只會使情況更糟糕。

Rather, it’s the other set of findings is what got my attention. Here, the researchers predicted that “acts of compassion and empathy — employees who assist bad bosses by going above and beyond, helping bosses with heavy workloads even when they’re not asked” would lead to diminished abuse by those bosses. And, that “acts of kindness might help lessen future rude or abusive behavior.”

相反，另一組發現則引起了我的注意。在這個研究裏，研究人員預測，憐憫和共情的行爲——也就是員工即使不被老闆要求，也會幫助壞老闆，完成繁重工作量——會幫助他們少受些老闆的濫待。而且，仁慈的行爲也有助於減少未來的所受的粗魯和虐待行爲。

The researchers were surprised to discover that it didn't happen. Instead, according to the study’s co-author Charlice Hurst,"Abusive supervisors didn’t respond to followers being positive and compassionate, and doing things to be supportive and helpful.” The researchers concluded that their findings seemed to “clash with common sense."

研究人員驚奇地發現，這並沒有發生。相反，根據研究的合作者Charlice Hurst的說法，“虐待員工的主管並不會給予下屬積極的迴應和同情心，以及一些支持和幫助”。研究人員得出結論，他們的發現似乎“與常理相沖突。”

Really? I think most anyone who’s ever worked for abusive bosses would laugh at such “common sense” assumptions. No, trying to be “nice” or empathic towards the narcissistic, arrogant boss who often makes conflicting demands on employees isn’t going to produce positive change.

這是真的嗎？我認爲大多數工作上曾經受到老闆虐待的人都會笑這樣的“常識”假設。不是，自戀又自大的老闆常常向員工提出互相矛盾的請求，所以對這樣的老闆表示友好和同情並不會獲得積極的改變。

However, a hint at what can help comes from another study. It found that employees who find ways to disengage, emotionally, from abusive bosses, experience a greater sense of managing their dilemma and its emotional impact.

然而，什麼纔會有幫助這一線索來自於另一項研究。結果發現，員工若是想方設法在情緒上擺脫老闆的虐待，會體會到強烈的困境掌控感和情緒的感染力。

That’s consistent with what I’ve found in my work with men and women who deal with these situations. That is, if you reframe how you envision your situation to begin with, that can open the door to proactive, positive, constructive actions in the situation you feel trapped in. There are several ways you can do this. It can begin with what one mid-level executive did, for example, as she looked for an alternative to just hunkering down, feeling depressed and disempowered.

這與和我一起工作的需要應付這類情況的男性、女性中發現的一致。 也就是說，如果你重新設想你的情況是如何開始的，那麼你就能在困境中有機會先行一步，佔據積極主動的地位。有幾種方法可以做到這一點。例如，這可能會從一箇中層管理人員開始，當她在尋找一個人作替代品時，低調的，沮喪的，不重要的人則會中槍。

She began with mindfulness meditation, focusing her attention on simply observing the negative emotions her boss’s behavior aroused in her. Just “watching” her emotions pass through her weakened her tendency to dwell in anger or pursue unproductive actions. That initiated a shift towards stepping “outside” herself — outside the narrow vantage point of her own ego - and towards seeing herself as though a character in a movie. With that expanded perspective she could view her boss as simply being the person he was; no matter what the psychological reasons were for why he was that way; or how she judged them. Emotional disengagement helped her not take his behavior personally, although it impacted her personally. In effect, she remained “indifferent” to her own emotional reactions. And yet she stayed engaged in seeking solutions to her situations.

她開始於冥想，注意力只集中在觀察老闆在她身上引起的消極情緒。 僅關注於自己所受的情緒削弱了她傾向於憤怒或追求無效的行爲。這開始轉向“走出去”——走到自我狹隘的角度之外去——並且看到自己就像一部電影中的角色一樣。有了這個展開的思維方式，她可以把她的老闆看成是他自己的人; 不管心理原因是爲什麼他是這樣的; 或者她如何判斷他們。情緒脫離有助於她不用親自行動，儘管她個人影響了自己的行爲。實際上，她對自己的情緒反應仍是“無動於衷”，但是她不停地在爲她的情況尋求解決辦法。

For example, she began to ask him directly for ways she could aid his objectives - rather than avoid or circumvent him. She also decided to cede control of some areas that didn’t matter to her, but which her boss seemed to enjoy micromanaging. Her disengaged perspective strengthened her confidence in her expertise; that her boss’s agenda or his abusive management didn’t diminish it.

例如，她開始直接問他是否可以幫助他完成目標——而不是逃避或規避他。她還決定控制一些與她無關的領域，但她的老闆似乎喜歡微觀管理。她的脫離觀點增強了她對自己專長的信心; 她老闆的日常工作事項或老闆的虐待並沒有減少。

Additionally, however - and importantly - she concluded that her future under him was probably a dead end for the foreseeable future. So she immediately updated her resume and began looking for a new position. This kept her focused on her career development objectives while navigating through her situation with as little friction as possible.

此外，無論如何——重要的是——她總結說，在可預見的將來，她在他手下工作的話，未來可能是一個死衚衕。於是她立即更新了簡歷，開始尋找新的職位。這使她專注於她的職業發展目標，同時儘可能減少與老闆之間的摩擦。

Of course, it’s important to self-examine at the outset when you find yourself in a bad situation. Look honestly, with outside help if necessary, at what you might be contributing to the problem. Ask yourself, “How much is it me or the situation?” Without doing that, you might take actions that you later regret or that prove to be unhelpful.

當然，當你發現自己處於不利的狀況時，首先要自我反省，這點很重要。老實說，如果有必要，在外部幫助下，你可能會處理好這個問題。問問自己，“我自己怎麼樣？目前的情況怎麼樣？”沒有這樣做你就行動，以後你可能會後悔或者發現之前的做法是無益的。

Nevertheless the example I described above highlights some guidelines that help people deal with a range of abusive, destructive and otherwise unhealthy management. They include:

不過，接下來的例子強調了一些指導方針，幫助人們處理一系列侮辱性，破壞性或其他不健康的管理。他們包括：

Create an emotional buffer zone. Observe your internal emotional responses to your situation, but recognize that you’re not obligated to act on them. Visualize a “space” between your emotions and how you choose to deal with them in your behavior. If you don’t, you’re likely to say or do something unhelpful or damaging to yourself. Stay aware of your buttons that your boss is pushing, but don’t get drawn into reacting to your boss’s emotional issues. Recognize that you always have a choice about what you do with your emotions in your own behavior.

創建情緒緩衝區。觀察你對情況的內在情緒反應，但認識到你無法對他們採取行動。這時你可視化你情緒之間的“空間”，以及你如何選擇在你的行爲中處理他們。如果你不這樣做，你可能會對自己說出或做出某些沒有幫助或有傷害的事情。留意你老闆的動向，但不要對老闆的情緒問題作出反應。要意識到自己總是有選擇的機會來用自己的行爲處理你的情緒。

Expand your perspective. The buffer zone around your triggered emotions enlarges your perspective about the situation: what’s feeding into it, and what may be driving your boss’s conduct. Seeing the problem in a much larger context includes looking at many factors. For example, the role of other players or other organizational issues and politics, regardless of what your opinion is about them. It includes considering that your boss’s controlling or abusive behavior may reflect some fear about her or his own security in the position.

展開你的視角。你所觸發的情緒周圍的緩衝區擴大了你對情況的看法：什麼正涌進來，以及什麼會驅使你老闆的行爲。在更大的環境中看待這個問題需要看很多因素。例如，其他玩家的角色或其他組織問題和政治，無論你對此有何看法，它包括考慮到你老闆的控制或虐待行爲可能會反映出他對自己或自身安全的一些恐懼。

Act with “engaged indifference.“ That buffer zone and an enlarged perspective helps you become more proactive towards managing your situation, while being “indifferent” to your own emotional reactions that are triggered along the way. You’re less likely to be drawn towards unproductive behavior fueled by anger, resentment or self-pity. You might even decide to look for ways to help your boss feel more secure or supported, despite what you think of him or her, because doing that might diminishe your boss’s anxiety and will therefore make your life a bit easier as long as you remain there.

採取“冷漠無情”的態度。緩衝區和展開的視角幫助你更加主動地管理你的情況，同時對你自己的情緒反應進行“無動於衷”處理。你不太可能被憤怒，憤慨或自憐所驅動的非生產性行爲所吸引。 你甚至可能決定尋找方法幫助你的老闆感到更安全或更受支持，不管你對他或她的看法是什麼，因爲這樣做可能會削弱你老闆的焦慮，因此只要你留在那裏，你的生活會變得容易一些。

Avoid Another Abusive Situation. If you decide you must leave, then do the research when considering a new job: Look for signs of a potentially negative situation by, for example, paying attention to what you hear during interviews; asking people within the organization what it’s like to work for that company or that boss; heed any red flags raised by what you hear...and don’t contribute to history repeating itself.

避免另一種虐待情況。如果你決定離開，那麼在考慮一項新工作時就進行研究：例如，通過注意你在採訪中聽到的內容來尋找潛在的消極情緒的跡象; 向組織內部的人詢問該公司或該老闆工作的情況; 注意你聽到的任何危險信號，不要重蹈覆轍。

聲明：本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創內容，轉載請註明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個人觀點，僅供參考。如有不妥之處，歡迎指正。