經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第22章(4)

We must find the Silver Bail, it is here somewhere.
Can’t we just relax a little? Arthur said. I’ve had a tough day. Trillian’s here, incidentally, she didn’t say how, it probably doesn’t matter.
Think of the danger to the Universe…
The Universe, said Arthur, is big enough and old enough to look after itself for half an hour. All right, he added, in response to Slartibartfast’s increasing agitation, I’ll wander round and see if anybody’s seen it.
Good, good, said Slartibartfast, good. He plunged into the crowd himself, and was told to relax by everybody he passed.
Have you seen a bail anywhere? said Arthur to a little man who seemed to be standing eagerly waiting to listen to somebody. It’s made of silver, vitally important for the future safety of the Universe, and about this long.
No, said the enthusiastically wizened little man, but do have a drink and tell me all about it.
Ford Prefect writhed past, dancing a wild, frenetic and not entirely unobscene dance with someone who looked as if she was wearing Sydney Opera House on her head. He was yelling a futile conversation at her above the din.
I like that hat! he bawled.
What?
I said, I like the hat.
I’m not wearing a hat.
Well, I like the head, then.
What?
I said, I like the head. Interesting bone-structure.
What?
Ford worked a shrug into the complex routine of other movements he was performing.
I said, you dance great, he shouted, just don’t nod so much.
What?
It’s just that every time you nod, said Ford, –…ow! he added as his partner nodded forward to say What? and once again pecked him sharply on the forehead with the sharp end of her swept-forward skull.
My planet was blown up one morning, said Arthur, who had found himself quite unexpectedly telling the little man his life story or, at least, edited highlights of it, that’s why I’m dressed like this, in my dressing gown. My planet was blown up with all my clothes in it, you see. I didn’t realize I’d be coming to a party.
The little man nodded enthusiastically.

“我們得找出銀橫木，就在這附近。”
“我們就不能放鬆一下嗎？”阿瑟說，“我今天過得很不好。崔莉安也在這兒。很偶然。她也沒說清楚。也許並不重要。”
“想想宇宙的危險……”
“宇宙，”阿瑟說，“已經夠大夠成熟了，照顧自己半個小時總該能行吧。行行行……”他接着說，因爲司拉提巴特法斯不停地鼓動他快去，“我去溜一圈，看有誰見過沒。”
“很好很好。” 司拉提巴特法斯說，“很好。”他親自擠進人羣，所遇到的每一個人都叫他“放鬆一下”。
“你見過一塊橫木沒？”阿瑟發現一個小個子，似乎很期待聽人說說話，於是向他問道。“是銀子做的，對宇宙未來的安全至關重要，這是很久以來的事了。”
“沒。”小個子熱心地皺起了臉，“不過你可以喝一杯，再跟我講講怎麼回事。”
福特十分扭曲地蹦達着經過。他正在跳一種瘋狂的、頗爲猥瑣的舞蹈，舞伴頭上戴着一個好似悉尼歌劇院的東西。喧囂之中，他向她大聲喊着什麼——真是徒勞的對話。
“我喜歡這個！”他喊道。
“什麼？”
“我說，我喜歡這頂帽子！”
“我沒有戴帽子！”
“哦，那我喜歡這種腦袋！”
“什麼？”
“我說，我喜歡這種腦袋，頭骨結構很有趣！”
“什麼？”
福特一邊保持他那複雜的舞蹈動作，一邊聳了聳肩。
“我說，你跳得很棒，”他叫道，“只是別老點頭！”
“什麼？”
“因爲每次你一點頭，”福特說，“嗷！”他的舞伴說“什麼”時又點了一下頭，於是福特就叫了一聲。因爲他的額頭再次被她前突的頭骨狠狠地啄了一下。
“一天早上，我的星球被炸飛了，”阿瑟說着。他沒想到自己會跟這個小個子講述人生故事，或者，至少是剪輯精華版，“所以我穿成這樣，穿着睡袍。我的星球和我的衣服一起被炸飛了。你瞧，我沒想到要參加派對。”
小個子很熱情地點點頭。