短一點的爆笑英文小笑話大全

笑話(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。本文是短一點的爆笑英文小笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　短一點的爆笑英文小笑話：It Doesn't Exist

Jimmy came home from school with an F on his geography test. His mother was reviewing his work, and noticed that he had gotten one particularly easy question wrong.

"Jimmy," she asked, "Santa Cruz is in California."

"No, it isn't. It doesn't exist."

"Of course it exists. What makes you think it's imaginary?"

"That's what you told me, mommy," the boy replied.

"When did I tell you that?"

"Last Christmas, when I wanted to know why I didn't get a horse."

"No, I told you that Santa CLAUS doesn't exist, not Santa CRUZ."

　　短一點的爆笑英文小笑話：No Temper Tantrums On This Plane

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."

　　短一點的爆笑英文小笑話：Mommy's Washcloth

There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked, he asked his mother what was the hair in between her legs? She responded, "It's my washcloth". Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again, but while she was in the hospital the doctor shaved her pubic hair, and the boy asked his mother: "What happened to your washcloth?" The mother responded, "I lost it".

The little boy trying to be helpful set out to find his mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running to his mother yelling and screaming, I found your washcloth, the mother thinking that the child was just playing went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?" The boy answered, "The maid has it and she is washing daddy's face with it."

　　短一點的爆笑英文小笑話：Coffee Maker

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee in bed. He had made it all by himself and was so proud. He waited eagerly to hear herverdict on the quality of the coffee.

The grandmother had truly never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee. The first fewsips just about did her in, but she praised her grandson, told him it was wonderful, and drank it all anyway. As she forced down the last sip, she noticed three little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three of your little army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know, grandma, it's like on TV: 'The best part of waking up... is soldiers in your cup.'"

　　短一點的爆笑英文小笑話：You Are Ugly

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith, the Sunday School teacher, smiling sweetly said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly an face, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

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