簡短的簡單的英語笑話
在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。本站小編整理了簡短的簡單的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
死亡訃告
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost tohave an obituaryprinted"? asked the woman.
地方報社負責刊登死亡訃告的部門電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢?”一位女士問。
"It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after amoment."Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?""Yes ma'am."
“五美元一個字，太太。”書記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會兒，“拿着筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”
"Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書記員疑惑地問道。“對，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛纔沒有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個字。”
"Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am.""Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac forSale.'"
“沒錯，你就應該告訴我，”女士有點生氣了，“現在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿着筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車。’”
簡短的簡單的英語笑話篇二沒問題
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
一個禿頭的男人坐在理髮店裏。
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist. "I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but Icouldn't stand the pain.
髮型師問：“有什麼可以幫你嗎?”那個人解釋說：“我本來要去做頭髮移植，但實在太疼了。
If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you$5,000."
如果你能夠讓我的頭髮看起來像你的一樣，而且沒有任何痛苦，我將付給你5000美元。”
"No problem," said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
“沒問題，”髮型師說，然後他很快幫自己剃了個光頭。
簡短的簡單的英語笑話篇三誰都沒空
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in theshed. She could see from the bedroom window.
那天晚上，我剛要上牀睡覺，妻子告訴我說我沒有關儲藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶看見那還亮着。
As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned thepolice, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would sendsomeone over as soon as they were available.
我也透過窗戶朝那邊看，發現有幾個人正在偷東西。我趕忙報警，但是警察局說現在沒有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過來。
I said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just calledyou a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry aboutthem now cause I've shot them all."
我說沒問題，然後掛了電話，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過電話來，我告訴你說有人正在我家的儲藏室偷東西。但是現在沒事了，因爲我剛剛開槍把他們都打死了。”
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit,the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thoughtyou said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
隨後，五分鐘之內有六輛警車來到了我家，警報也響了。當然，他們當場抓住了竊賊。有個警察對我說：“我記得你說你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說現在誰都沒空。”
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