簡單好說的英語冷笑話閱讀

民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。本站小編整理了簡單好說的英語冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　簡單好說的英語冷笑話：Devils Voice

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"

"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"

　　簡單好說的英語冷笑話：Wheres The Manager

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gesturesalluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gentlycaress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"Im afraid I cant" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no loo paper in the ladies."

　　簡單好說的英語冷笑話：The Rope

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette about how she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

Problem solved.

　　簡單好說的英語冷笑話：Sleeping Problems

An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the blond returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the blond wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

　　簡單好說的英語冷笑話：Blonde In Trouble

A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.

When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.

When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.

When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."

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