關於初二英語笑話閱讀

冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。冷笑話不同於一般笑話,它以其獨特的制笑機制,能瞬間創造出一種特殊的氛圍。小編精心收集了關於初二英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於初二英語笑話：Long Life

A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.

Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.

Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."

"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."

Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.

One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"

Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "

"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "

The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"

“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."

　　關於初二英語笑話：A Small Surprise

When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"

"Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.

"Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.

"Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"

　　關於初二英語笑話：Diet Tribe

Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. "What does she look like?" the clerk asked.

My husband said simply, "She just lost ten pounds.

"Third door on the left." the woman replied with a smile.

　　關於初二英語笑話：Senior Class

During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.

When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!"

　　關於初二英語笑話：What Went Wrong

A Japanese company and an American company had a boat race, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans hired analysts to figure out what went wrong. They reported that the Japanese had one person managing and seven rowing, while the Americans had seven managing and only one rowing. The American company immediately restructured its team. Now they had one senior manager, six management consultants and one rower.

In the rematch the Japanese won by two miles. So the American company fired the rower.

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