英語笑話爆笑超級搞笑的

下面是本站小編整理的一些關於there be在英語中的特殊用法， 希望大家喜歡。

　　英語爆笑笑話一：三人同舟

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.

A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

"Oh yes, " he said. "They are my friends.

"In that case, " warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"

"Yes, sir, " the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.

三位男子在公園的長椅上坐着。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。

一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。

“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”

“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裏弄走。”

“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接着就開始瘋狂般地做起划槳的動作來。

　　英語爆笑笑話二：As If Awakening From A Dream

A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "

A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

以戒酒爲主題的演講比賽正在進行，一個演講者動情地說：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關係，甚至導致妻子離開自己的丈夫……”

這時一個男人大聲喊：“再來一瓶白蘭地!”

　　英語爆笑笑話三：離婚

A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce."I don't understand,"He said,"Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"

the husband explained "Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died."

有一個丈夫和妻子都是91歲，他們站在法官面前，要求離婚。“我不明白，”法官說，“你們爲什麼到了這把年紀還要離婚?”

丈夫解釋道：“嗯，你是知道的，我們以前是喲等到孩子們都死了。”

　　英語爆笑笑話四：I do not recognize you

Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(鉗子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!

Catch up with no trees on the crab, and then to see a tiger in Shou Network spiders, tiger angry at Spider: Good you a crab! Do you think you posted on the Web and I do not recognize you!

一天老虎在沙灘散步，見到一隻螃蟹，就走過去想看個究竟，突然被螃蟹的鉗子夾了一下，螃蟹拔腿就往樹叢裏跑。老虎痛得跳起來了，緊接着就追螃蟹!

追到樹叢就不見螃蟹了，這時老虎看見一隻守在大網中的蜘蛛，老虎對着蜘蛛發火了：好你個螃蟹!你以爲你上了網我就不認得你了!

　　英語爆笑笑話五：A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡

A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那裏，他看見有隻鸚鵡的左腿被紅線繫住，右腿則被綠線繫住。對此他感到不解，於是他問該店的老闆，老闆回答說：“這隻鸚鵡受過特殊的訓練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

這個好奇的人接着問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎麼樣呢?”

“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫着說。