英國母親比拼育兒經驗壓力大

Every mother has her own opinion on how to best raise a child. But according to a new survey, 90 percent of women with children admit to casting judgment if they don't agree with a fellow parent's methods.

The poll of 26,000 mothers by TODAY Moms/ found that they will compete on everything from breastfeeding to discipline.

Mothers who didn't try to breastfeed their babies, for example, will be considered badly by one in five other parents, while those who nurse a child for 'too long', will be judged badly by 43 percent of their peers.

Sixty-six percent of respondents said they would judge another parent harshly if their child was badly behaved, and 32 percent if a mother let her kids watch too much television.

Diet was another key issue for parents - 37 percent said they would judge mothers of an overweight child or those who allowed their children to eat junk food.

Many women who participated in the survey admitted suffering from an inferiority complex when surrounded by other mothers - and guilty for judging fellow parents themselves.

Lacey Davis, a mother in West Virginia, admitted on the website: 'When I go to other moms' homes I do the quick once-over and pick apart things... Dishes in sink, floors not swept, no sweeper lines in carpet.

'I HATE this about myself because I know if I am doing it, then so is everyone else that comes to MY house!'

And Lawna Hurl, a mother-of-two from Alberta, Canada, says the reason she returned to work was because the pressure of competition among fellow parents was too intense.

She admitted: 'I didn’t like being around other moms because I often felt inferior. It saddens me that among moms there is so much judgment – no matter what you do it seems someone is judging.'

Author and parenting expert Wendy Mogel explained that the judgemental habit is a means mothers use to feel better about themselves.

She told the site: 'Mothers are judging themselves and judging others to make themselves feel a little better. We’re all trying to look good, and we want our kids to look good and impress others.'每個媽媽都有一本她自己的育兒經。但一項新研究發現，90%的媽媽承認，如果不同意其他孩子父母的育兒方式，她們會提出批評。

由今日媽媽育兒網發起的這一調查發現，媽媽們會從母乳餵養到管教子女各個方面進行較量。該調查涵蓋了2.6萬位母親。

在五分之一的媽媽們眼中，不願用母乳餵養寶寶的媽媽不是好媽媽，而那些母乳餵養期太長的媽媽也會被43%的媽媽認爲不稱職。

66%的被調查者說，如果孩子不乖，她們會嚴厲批評那個孩子的母親。32%的人說如果媽媽讓她的孩子看太多電視，她們也會指責那個媽媽。

對媽媽們來說，孩子的飲食也是一個關鍵問題。37%的媽媽說，如果一個孩子太胖，或是一個媽媽允許孩子吃垃圾食品，她們會指責那個媽媽。

很多參加這次調查的女性都承認當被其他媽媽圍繞的時候，都有自卑心理，而她們自己也喜歡批評其他媽媽，併爲此感到內疚。

萊西•戴維斯是來自西弗吉尼亞州的一位母親，她在“今日”網站上坦言說：“我一進到別的媽媽的家裏，我就迅速掃視一圈，然後就開始指摘起來……水槽裏的碟子沒洗，地板沒掃，地毯沒用清掃器清潔過。”

“我討厭自己這麼做，因爲我知道，如果我這麼做，別人到我家的時候也會對我說三道四！”

來自加拿大阿爾伯塔省的勞娜•赫爾是兩個孩子的母親。她說她重返職場的原因是同輩母親間的競爭壓力太大了。

她承認說：“我不喜歡和別的媽媽們待在一起，因爲我經常覺得自卑。當媽的湊到一塊兒就老愛評判來評判去，真讓我傷心。不管你做什麼，好像總有人品頭論足。”

作家兼育兒專家溫迪•孟格爾解釋說，這種愛評判的習慣是媽媽們保持良好自我感覺的手段。

她告訴網站說：“媽媽們通過自我評判和評判她人來讓自己感覺好些。我們都想讓自己看上去很好，我們也想讓我們的孩子看上去很好，給他人留下好印象。”