如何写好托福独立写作主题句
如何写好托福独立写作主题句,这是一个需要技巧的事情,下面小编就和你聊聊。
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托福独立写作主题句如何练到简洁严谨
幸运的是,虽然这是一项考察考生“语言运用能力”的考试,但它并不要求考生在字里行间透露出“文艺”气息,所有参加这门考试的人都只需要“接地气的”、“流畅的”、“符合逻辑的”将自己的观点展示给考官即可获得可观的分数。
基于这样一个前提,我们便有了诸多能够在考场中帮助考生有效地应对独立写作的技巧,这些技巧涵盖了开头段、中间段、结尾段、词句提炼等各个方面。作为理由段的核心——主题句的写法,一直以来都是一个教学重点。通过反思之前的教学方法,同时结合近期在批改作业及与学生沟通中所发现的问题,笔者想在此与大家分享一下自己关于托福独立写作理由段的“主题句”的写作方法。
构建主题句的最基本的要求应该是“不偏离总论点、言简意赅、不相互包含和不互为因果”,细细探究这些写作要求,它们其实是围绕着“论述逻辑性”、“句子单词数”和“说服力强弱”而存在的。换言之,只有做到了这三点,主题句才算比较好的主题句。严格按照这些要求所写出来的主题句,在逻辑维度绝对是严谨的,能够让考官对考生的理解力给予肯定;在篇幅维度一定是简洁的,能够让考官对考生的概括力给予肯定;最后,在表述维度必须是多元的,能够让考官对考生的思辨力给予肯定。
在实际授课过程中,将这些要求通过课件例句和口头表达转述给学生的过程类似于将理工科公式介绍给学生一样简单,但是如何帮助学生有效地理解、吸收并运用这些“公式”则是一个比较耗时费力的过程。主题句没写好的结果绝对是灾难性的,一个主题句如果不能有效地表达文意,那么,我们在授课过程中所介绍的“理由段三成分”根本无法得到有效的落实,进而,整个理由段的布局和表述都会受到影响。所以,主题句的教学应当获得更大的关注度,从“逻辑”、“篇幅”和“表述”三个维度进行主题句的提炼应该是一个比较好的切入点。
【维度一:主题句的逻辑】
(1)学生目标:能够根据题干想出合适的理由,再把理由精准地表述成句,用理由当主题句;
(2)学生普遍存在的问题:首先,想出的理由不切题、过于空泛;其次,直接进入因果解释环节,用原因替代主题句,导致概括性不够;
(3)教学重点:托福独立写作的题目涉及的面比较广,经济、文化、教育、生活都是考生需要面对的话题,面对一些自己用中文都不曾思考过的问题的时候,考生出现思路堵塞也是能理解的。
可喜的是,现在机经预测的准确度已经非常之高,那些在真实考场中频现的真题也已经被我们解析完毕,相应的理由均已被整理、记录进了“理由库”。只要把这些理由融入到自己的教学过程当中,反复给学生进行讲解,带着他们去思考、理解和运用这些理由,即便他们考试的时候遇见的不是原题重现而是近义题重现,大多数学生也是能够保证自己使用的理由能够切题了。当然,有同学担心这样一个问题,写作题目可能会出现新题,这些理由对于新题会不会不适用。笔者认为,但凡能够跟着老师进度来认真思考“理由库”的同学,在考试日期到来之前,想理由的能力绝对是已经得到了大幅提升的,大可不必有这样的担心。因此,只要按照上述思路进行训练,想写出“及格”层次的主题句是没有问题了。
例-1
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.
A同学想表达的是“通过提升员工的效率和熟练度,公司利益会增加,进而实现员工的增收”,但是她的主题句却写成了“First, with the economic growth, the goods price increase sharply.”
【参考例句:In the first place, employees’ working efficiency and proficiency can boost a company’s profits, thus increase employees’ income.】
例-2
题目:It is impossible to succeed if one cannot accept criticism in teamwork.
(1)B同学的主题句是这么写的:In the first place, criticism in a team is unavoidable because everyone has his own opinion, it is normal to have some conflict.
这句话应该放到主题句后面的解释环节,通过因果链拓展的方式,作为原因来使用还是比较好的,但是,作为主题句的话,它没有在“批评”和“成功”这二者之间搭建逻辑关系,使得主题句未能有效概括出相应段落的大意。
【参考例句:In the first place, hearing and accepting rational criticism helps colleagues to form team spirit.】
(2)同样,还有一位C同学是这么写的:Last but not least, a team may get criticism from outside world. 这个主题句也没有把最核心的论据思想表达出来,?个团队可以从外部得到批评,那么,能够带来什么好处呢?C同学并没有说明。这句话,如果放到后面的解释环节来使用,也是可以的,但是,作为主题句,一定需要在“从外部接受批评”和“获得成功”之间搭建逻辑关系,整合出一个概括性较强的句子才行。
【参考例句:Last but not least, a willingness to accept criticism enables people to obtain more useful information.】
【维度二:主题句的篇幅】
(1)学生目标:提升概括能力,严格控制主题句的篇幅;
(2)学生普遍存在的问题:一个主题句写了两到三行(30~40个单词);
(3)教学重点:要提升学生的概括能力,用高端词汇来替代短语的做法绝非高效高质的做法,只会导致曲高和寡的结果。
其实大学毕业论文的撰写过程已经为我们锻炼学生的概括能力提供了思路,众所周知,每篇论文都有一篇摘要,而摘要下方必然存在若干“关键词”,这些“关键词”就是关键所在。我们在引导学生根据题目来思考、表达了“理由”之后,如果学生表达的句子太长,我们完全可以要求学生用一到两个单词对这个长句进行概括,然后,再要求学生围绕自己概括出的单词进行主题句的再次表述。通过一段时间的练习,学生的概括能力必然会得到提升。核心点在于通过运用“因果关系”对这些“关键词”进行整合。
例-1
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a big company is to improve the efficiency and proficiency of its employees.
针对这道题目,D同学想出来的理由还是不错的,他想表达的是“一个公司员工的工作效率和熟练度对这个公司的产出和收益有很大的推动作用”,但是,具体转述为主题句之后,他写成了“How large the profit will be made by a company mostly depends on the output and the most significant method to enlarge the output is obviously to enhance the efficiency and proficiency of the workers.”(35个单词)
分析:对D同学所表达的主题句进行二次分析,他很轻松地就找出了这个句子的核心词,即“efficiency and proficiency”和“output and profit”。通过不到三分钟的思考,他围绕这几个单词进行因果关系的转述,再度写出来的主题句如下:To begin with, efficiency and proficiency can improve a company’s output and profit.(13个单词,精简了22个单词,语义更加精炼。)
例-2
题目:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to choose a university whose graduates have good job opportunities than a university who has famous professors.
E同学的主题句是这样写的:One of the main reasons that I consider a university whose graduates have a good job opportunity is a better choice is that job can guarantee our future.(28个单词)
分析:通过再次分析她的主题句,D同学进行了关键词的提取,即“good job opportunities”和“future”,其它的内容均可进行适当削减。经过思考,她通过因果关系进行转述,再次表达出的主题句如下:Firstly, good job opportunities usually guarantee a promising future.(9个单词,精简了19个单词,主题句更加开门见山。)
【维度三:主题句的表述】
(1)学生目标:通过主题句体现句式多样性;
(2)学生普遍存在的问题:
(3)教学重点:授课老师需要结合近年来的所有机经真题进行主题句练习的设计,在课程内容进入到主题句讲解之后,分批次将这些题目布置给学生操练,一个月的练习时间为宜。
题目:It’s better to choose a university whose graduates have good job opportunities than a university who has famous professors.
分析:E同学的主题句是这么写的,“In the first place, famous professors can provide students with a better education.”就这个句子本身而言,已经合格,但是,考虑到托福独立写作的评分标准之一“Sentence Variety”,我们完全有理由教会学生在主题句上做足“句式多样性”的文章。将上述主题句发给另外一个经过近一个月写作训练的同学进行词句提升,一分钟即写了三个相关主题句出来,如下:
1. It is illustrious professors that provide students with better education;
2. Illustrious professors are so decisive when they come to providing students with better education;
3. Hardly can students expect to obtain better education without illustrious professors. 这已完全符合“逻辑严谨”、“言简意赅”和“句式多样”的要求。
注:设计题目和学生配合练习是关键,建议在开课之后即进行写作学习规划,要细致到每一天,按照上述三个维度,分阶段推进。
托福写作之如何写一个topic sentence(主题句)
所谓主题句(topic sentence, 也有人叫它中心句),就是独立写作主体段中统领全文的那个句子,也就是表述在独立写作头脑风暴和谋篇布局时候想到的“主要理由”或者“论点”的那个句子。通常一篇独立写作有三个主题句。
例如在题目“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is betterto work in large companies than in small ones.”,选择agree,三个主题句可以是:
The first reason is that a large company can provide more opportunities to develop one’s ability
Another reason for choosing a big company involves welfare.
A third reason is that one who appreciates the unique culture of abig enterprise will become a more responsible person to the society.
在托福写作中,三个主题句可以说是作文中最重要的一组句子,因为主题句对段落起到“提纲挈领”的作用,同时对整篇文章的结构清晰度和文章逻辑性也至关重要。
如何将这个理由“完整”“清晰”“出彩”的表达出来就是本文讨论的话题。
首先,每段主题句通常都位于段首,紧跟于“first, second, third”这些“信号词”之后。除此之外还需要注意以下几点。
丨简明扼要
主题句需要让读者看到之后能够快速、准确地把握本段的主要内容。这要求我们在写主题句的时候,一方面内容要简单,另一方面用语要凝练。
先来看一个反面例子:
“First and foremost, television, invented in the last century, withits wide availability and increasingly prosperous programs ,becomes one of the most powerful means of communication in history, and is more and more difficult to ignore”
这个主题句涵盖的内容太多,读完这个句子,读者根本不明白本段是要陈述电视节目蓬勃发展(increasingly prosperous program), 要强调电视是最强力的交流工具(the most powerful means of communication in history),还是要论证电视不可被忽视(difficult to ignore),这就是一个典型的内容太复杂的主题句。
再看一个反例:
“First of all, following the new customs can show a sense of respect,which can allow a better and faster adaption inside the local population so that they make more friends.”
这个句子也有两个论点:表示尊重(show a sense of respect),扩大社交(make more friends),同样也使读者不能抓住本段的主要内容。
如何避免这种错误,使主题句内容简单呢?很简单,首先做到每个主题句有且只有一个论点。论点就是指我们头脑风暴时候想到的那些“key words”,比如健康,安全,情感等等,每段写一个,不要把健康和安全放在同一个段落,也不要把情感和成功放在同一个段落。
例如上面第二个例子,我们只需要删去一个论点,就可以变得非常简洁:
“To start with, accepting cultures in the foreign country is an indispensable element that contributes to the expansion of social circle.”这是一个简洁的主题句,只有扩大社交(contributes to the expansion of social circle)这一个论点。
论点唯一还不一定能完全做到简洁,来看另一个反例:
“The first reason why letting children care for animals isnot the best way to teach them about responsibility is that it could negatively impact a child’s health.”
这句话虽然只有一个论点,可是用语太繁杂,让人头晕。主题句的语法不建议太复杂,建议大家把花式操作留到其他部分去秀,在主题句,只要写一些简单句,例如:“First, raising pets will exert a negative impact on a child’shealth.”就行了。
丨不是陈述事实
来看下面两个句子:
A: “First, some children might be infected by feeding animals.”
B: “First, raising pets could negatively impact a child’s health.”
哪一个是好的主题句呢?
答案是B。
因为A句的内容是一个“纯粹的事实”,而B句则是“抽象的概念”(exert negative impact),换言之,A句可以作为B句的例子,但B句不能作为A句的例子。
陈述事实的句子是不能作为主题句的,事实是不言自明的。不言自明,也就不需要后面的文字来“论证”了。主题句需要写“a sentence that you could give examples for”,而不能写一个 “example”。
来练习判断下面几组句子中哪一个可以做主题句呢?
A: “Second, the academic performance of some children becomes poor after they are responsible for caring for a pet.”
B:“Second, caring for a pet could disrupt a child’s regular studies.”
A: “First, people could learn how to communicate with eachother through participating in community activities”
B: “First, participating in community activities is apractical and effective approach to enhance their social skills.”
A: “First, letting children take care of animal is a good suggestion for the reason that kids like animals.”
B: “To start with, raising pets fill friendship vacuums and satisfy people’s need to nurture"
(答案:三组都是B句较好)
丨使用高级词汇
很多同学要问,如果主题句中不建议使用复杂句型,又不能出现多层结构,那如何显示自己的语言功力呢?要知道我们展示语言能力的地方并非只有复杂的句型,丰富和精准的词汇使用,同样可以展示英语的专业程度。比如
“First, go to museums can teach people different kinds of knowledge”
→ “First, visiting museums provide people with an opportunity to comprehend a vast amount of knowledge”
想想看,如果原本句子中只会写“good”之处,替换为“advantageous, beneficial, effective, efficacious, favorable,invaluable, rewarding, unparalleled, unprecedented”等等词汇,效果是不是更好呢?如果多次出现“important”的地方,改写为“central, critical ,crucial, decisive, essential, pivotal, primary,principal, vital,a key to, an indispensable part, play a pivotal role, attach great importance to”会不会增加可读性呢?
在平时的阅读中,注意积累一些“高级词汇”,准确掌握词义,并且刻意练习使用这些词汇,逐渐就会取得不错的写作成绩。
托福独立写作三大类别介绍
1、简单说明文 Explanation
结构:
首段:背景介绍(Back Information),引出话题,提出主旨,即主题句(Thesis Statement)
教师指导托福独立写作三大类别详解
主体段:Supporting,即列出理由和引用具体例子来进行说理论述。
例:
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
分析:
首段可以提出人们如今平均寿命较之前有了大幅度的上涨,引出主要内容,提出自己的观点。
中间段,可以分成来说明这个现象的具体原因,如:人们饮食条件的提升,不再存在吃不饱的情况,而且饮食也越来越科学越来越方便;医疗技术也越来越发达,医治不及导致死亡的情况减少;经济社会比较稳定。
句型:
Among various factors that …… are A, B and C.
A is a very important factor.
Equally important is the ……
Matching A and B is another essential factor ,C.
注意:
主题句要注意尽量不要只使用抽象名词,而且用词、时态要注意,主题句应该值得解释、值得证明。
2、对比对照说明文 Compare and Contrast:
结构:
首段同简单说明文,包括背景信息和主旨的介绍。
主体段则是进行对比对照(Compare and Contrast),同一事物的不同方面或者是同一方面的不同事物等。注意条例一定要清楚。
结尾重申观点,结论。
句型:
Somebody assert that B is better than A. However, I want to reason that A is better than B.
对比对照排列顺序(两种方法):
a) A三对一错,B三错一对
b) A三对B一对,B三错A一错
注意:
顺序很重要!结论不重要
3 立论文 Argumentation
结构:
要注意的一点是,这类作文的立场可能不只一个,不能以对错来判断。
首段:介绍文章的背景信息,提出自己的观点和看法。
第二段,具体阐述自己的观点,通过一些事例的引用和论证。
第三段,驳论,反驳与自己相反的观点。
结尾,做出总结,重述自己的立场。
注意:
Argumentation是以读者为导向的,有时候顺序、结论并不重要,说服重于表达。
托福独立写作范文解析
Do you agree or disagree:All university students should be required to take basic science courses even if they are not in the career goal.
题型分类:绝对题+应不应该题
论证角度:利弊分析
观点选择:让步
开头:同意所有的大学生都应该学学基础的科学课。(话题引入+他人观点+明确立场+过渡)
In general, all university courses can be divided into two kinds: liberal arts and science, which both serve as an impetus to the development of society. Lately, an interesting discussion has arisen about whether all university students should be required to take basic science courses even if they are not in the career goal. From my perspective, I am a big fan of science and I fully advocate that basic science courses are a necessity for every university student. My reasons and examples are as follows. (86 words)
中间段1:科学是社会发展的第一推动力,学理科的学生学基础科学课可以打好基础,学文科的学生有基础科学知识今后更有优势。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)
Firstly, it is no denying that science is the primary productive force. From the past to present, numerous cases have proved that our world’s rapid development is based on the remarkable progress of science and technology. University students, whatever their majors are, will benefit a lot from the basic science courses they have taken. Students of science can certainly enhance their foundation of scientific knowledge and those who study liberal arts will be advantageous in job market if they also have a basic understanding of science. In modern society, almost all individuals who change the world have been under the influence of science and technology in university, such as Steve jobs, Zuckerberg and Jack Ma. (115 words)
中间段2:在基础科学课上所培养的逻辑思维、实验精神对今后工作有重要的影响。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)
Besides, what students learned in basic science courses will exert positive influence on their future careers. These valuable assets they can amass in science courses are logical thinking, analytical skills, the spirit to question authority and the emphasis on experiments. In fact, these qualities are an essential guarantee of high working efficiency, whatever the work is. Look at this counter example. If one has never been exposed to any science courses, he must lack the awareness of doing experiments. Thus, in the work, he is likely to put any idea he thinks of into practice without testing its feasibility, which will obviously bring harms to his work. (107 words)
让步段:诚然,题目中的说法确实显得有些绝对,因为有一部分文科学生,学习能力差,本专业课还没有学到家的,强硬让他们学习科学课,是不合适的。但可以加适量的基础科学课到教学计划中。(承认漏洞+堵漏)
Admittedly, the statement that all students should be required to study basic science courses appears arbitrary and unilateral, because it is not appropriate to make basic science courses mandatory for some liberal-arts students who even have difficulties in their own majors. However, in light of the significance of scientific literacy, school authorities can add a proper number of basic science courses into the teaching schedule and make them optional for those weak in study. (74)
结尾:重申观点+归纳理由/升华主题
In conclusion, basic science courses are the foundation of anyone who wants to survive in this highly competitive modern world. If you do not want to regret in the future, seize the present and participate in some basic science courses in university because you never know something you have learnt in the course will be a great helper to your future career. (62 words)