雙語美文：總有人在默默看着你

I didn’t grow up in a very loving family.

我不是在溫暖的家庭里長大的孩子

In fact,

事實上

there are few, if any, happy memories I have of my childhood involving my family members.

在我童年的記憶中，有家人在場的歡樂記憶少之又少，幾乎沒有

My happiest moments were spent with the few friends

我最快樂的時光是與少數幾個朋友一起度過的

I was allowed to have.

他們是我被允許擁有的僅有的夥伴

My family eventually alienated all the neighbors,

但最終，我的家人把所有的鄰居都排斥開了

so the time came

這時

when I didn’t even have neighborhood kids to play with.

我甚至找不到一個鄰里間的玩伴一同玩耍

This was the time before internet.

這是互聯網誕生之前

So, I learned to occupy my time

於是，我學着用各種方式填滿自己的時間

reading,

閱讀

discovering nature

探索大自然

and setting and achieving small goals for myself.

給自己訂立小目標並實現它們

I became quite serious,

我變得十分嚴肅

just to hide my pain.

其實只是爲了隱藏內心的傷痛

There was another family in town that,

城裏有另一戶人家

on paper was quite similar to mine.

從表面上看和我們家十分相似

They had a lot of children,

他們有許多孩子

aged spaced apart like my own family.

與我家一樣，孩子之間的年齡差距很大

I always wondered

我總會想

what it would be like if my family were more like them.

如果我們家與他們家更相似一點，會是什麼樣子

They never knew it,

他們從未知道我的心思

but I watched them

我卻觀察着他們

and admired them.

傾慕他們

They were kind,

他們都很善良

genuine and close

真誠，彼此親密

– everything I wished my family could be.

這些都是我希望自己家擁有的特質

Decades later

數十年後

I found myself back at that very same place,

我發現自己會到了同樣的地方

in that same small town I had left behind.

回到自己拋棄的同一個小城鎮

This time I was in that town for a funeral.

這一次，我是去參加葬禮

It was my mother’s funeral.

那是我母親的葬禮

My family bickered and was divided,

一家人吵吵鬧鬧，各自出走

as always.

正如一直以來的那樣

I felt saddened that

我感到悲傷，因爲

neither time nor circumstance

無論時間或場合

could make them act with loving kindness toward each other.

都不能讓這家人用愛意和善意對待彼此

As I approached the church for the funeral,

我到教堂出席葬禮

memories came flooding back to me.

回憶如洪水般涌來

I remembered the warm, kind smiles of that family

我想起另外那家人溫暖，善良的微笑

that used to sit in the front pews of the church

他們總是坐在教堂前幾排的位置

when I was a child.

那時我還是個孩子

I wondered if those parents had too passed.

我心想，那家的雙親是不是也過世了呢

After the funeral service

葬禮結束後

a meal was provided in the church basement.

教堂地下室裏提供了一場喪宴

After getting a plate of food

我拿了一盤食物

I scanned the room for a seat with my husband.

我與丈夫一起在房間裏搜索座位

Then I heard a familiar voice

這時我聽到一個熟悉的聲音

I hadn’t heard in decades

我已經數十年未曾聽過

call my name.

喊着我的名字

I turned around

我轉過身去

and he was there,

他就在那裏

the father of that family I had admired when I was young.

是我小時候傾慕的那家人的父親

He was a church volunteer for my mother’s funeral lunch.

她在母親的喪宴上，自願擔當教堂裏的志願者

We chatted for a bit.

我們交談了一會兒

I pointed out my happy child to him

我指給他看我那個興高采烈的兒子

and it was at that point I realized

那一刻我忽然意識到

I was raising my boy

我教育兒子的方式

in a way I had seen him raise his own children so long ago.

與多年前我看到他教育自己孩子的方式同出一轍

He didn’t realize it,

他沒有意識到這一點

but my son’s life has been greatly affected by him.

可是，我兒子的生活其實深受他的影響

Peace settled into my soul.

安寧終於住進我的心

Live your life with integrity .

真誠善良的度過一生吧

You never know who’s watching,

你不會知道誰在看着你

who you will inspire

誰會受到你的啓迪

and whose life you'll change.

你會改變他們的一生