經典英語優美散文：A Paper Fan

下面是本站小編爲大家帶來英語優美散文：A Paper Fan，希望大家喜歡!

I stared at the computer screen, the recipe for blueberry cobbler staring back at me as my daughter’s voice, plaintive as a puppy’s whine, pleaded, “Please, Mom, why can’t I go? Everybody else is going.”

“You can go to the school lock in, or you can stay home from the prom. You cannot go to some hotel room with a bunch of drunken seniors. That’s final.” I still didn’t look up because the hurt and accusation in my daughters’ eyes skewered me, their blue the same blue as my sister’s satin dress and cornflower corsage had been. “I said no, and I meant it. If you continue to whine, you can consider yourself grounded as well.”

My daughter huffed out of the home office, slamming the door, sharp and sudden like the piercing pain I felt when I remembered my sister, who never came home from her prom. One year in age had separated us. Russian vodka at a Ramada Inn had bonded us.

My sister had left the Ramada in a white Ford Mustang convertible. On the old river road, the bridge railing met the Mustang’s front bumper. The Sunday paper said the car had folded as neatly as a paper fan. A paper fan. The three words pulsed in my head.

After that night, shame had shriveled my heart and kept me silent. My daughter didn’t know how the aunt she had never met, but looked so much alike, had died. My daughter didn’t know that the vodka arrived at the party in my handbag.

Through the door my daughter yelled, “You never let me do anything. I hate you.”

And I welcomed this hurt, believing pain would redeem me. My attention turned again to the screen. A cup of blueberries, a cup of sugar, a cup of flour.

Blue berries. Blue dress. Blue flowers on my sister’s grave.

譯文：紙扇

我盯着電腦屏幕，閱讀着藍莓酥皮水果餡餅的食譜，耳邊不時傳來女兒小狗一樣哼哼唧唧的抱怨聲，她幾乎是帶着哭腔懇求道：“媽媽，求求你了，爲什麼我不能去酒店參加聚會，其他人都去了。”

“你可以成天呆在學校裏，也可以遠離舞會呆在家裏。就是不能去酒店的房間，和一羣醉醺醺的畢業班學生呆在一起。就這樣定了。”我不敢再擡頭，我怕女兒眼中的傷害和怨恨刺痛我的心，從她藍色的眼睛裏，我看見了姐姐藍色的真絲連衣裙，和胸前佩戴的矢車菊小花飾。“我向來說一不二，你是知道的，如果還要嘀咕，你自己考慮關禁閉。”

女兒氣呼呼地跑出家庭辦公室，砰地關上自己的房門，我的心裏突然感到針扎般尖銳的難受，當我想起我的姐姐從舞會上再也沒有回來的時候。大我一歲的姐姐已經離開了我們，都是在華美達酒店喝的俄國伏特加惹的禍。

我姐姐是坐着一輛福特野馬敞篷車離開華美達酒店的。當車子行駛在熟悉的沿河路時，福特車的保險槓撞在了欄杆上。據當時星期天的報紙報道，福特車擠壓變形同摺疊的紙扇。紙扇，這幾個字在我的腦海裏嗡嗡作響。

從那天晚上開始，悔恨讓我心灰意冷，之後我變得沉默寡言。我的女兒不知道，她從未謀面的姨媽，長得和我那麼相像的姨媽已經去世了。她更不會知道，伏特加是我放在袋子裏拿到舞會上去的。

“你總是這也不讓我做，那也不讓我做，我恨你。”女兒還在房間裏大聲叫喊，對此我已無動於衷。

我只有接受這種傷害，希望痛苦能讓我贖罪。我的注意力又轉向屏幕，一杯藍莓，一杯糖，一杯麪粉。

藍莓，藍絲裙，還有姐姐墳墓上盛開的藍色小花朵。