幾十年的溜溜球式鍛鍊後,這件事終於幫助我不再暴飲暴食

Let's just say zen would not be the first word I'd use to describe myself. I fall more into the high-strung, nervous-about-everything camp. So mindfulness-a mental state achieved by focusing your awareness on the present moment-felt like a long shot for me. But living mindfully is having a major moment, billed as a cure-all for everything from anxiety to sleeplessness to obesity. At 42 and at my highest weight ever, I was willing to try anything.

用一個詞描述自己？我想到的第一個詞不會是禪。我更傾向於高度緊張的詞彙。所以正念--通過將意識集中於當下現實所取得的心理狀態--對我來說是個很大的賭注。但用心生活是重大時刻，能夠治癒一切，包括焦慮、失眠和肥胖等。我42歲了，體重達到人生巔峯，我願意嘗試任何方法瘦下來！

Conason describes mindful eating as being fully aware and present in your relationship with food and your body. "It's based on mindful meditation and brings the same skills cultivated there, like non-judgmental observation, to our eating experiences," she says. During my very first session, she explained to me that eating mindfully as a strategy to get thin negates the entire point of the practice and simply doesn't work. There's always a catch, I remember thinking to myself back then, when I still hoped mindfulness could be a fix to help me lose weight.

科娜森將正念飲食描述爲充分意識到並一直參與食物與身體的關係。"這是基於正念冥想的基礎之上的，並給我們的飲食帶來了冥想培養出的技能，比如非評論性的觀察，"她說道。第一次接受治療的時候，她向我解釋：用心吃飯是變瘦的策略，但卻忽略了整個過程的重心，因此起不到作用。凡事總有陷阱，我記得當時自己就是這麼想的，當時的我還希望正念能夠讓我體重減輕呢。

A lifelong emotional eater

終身的情緒化飲食者

My troubled relationship with food and dieting went back decades. I tried my first diet my freshman year of college. After that, I was always either on a diet or planning to start one. All foods were labeled good or bad in my mind, and my behavior was categorized by the same measure. What I actually wanted to eat rarely crossed my mind. But this is where mindfulness comes in, Conason tells me in a separate conversation we had outside our therapy sessions.

吃還是不吃這個問題困擾了我幾十年。大一的時候，我第一次節食。之後，我要麼就是在節食，要麼就是在準備節食。在我的大腦中，食物都被標成了好與不好，而我也以同樣的方式將我的行爲分類（好與壞）。我很少去想我真正想吃的東西。但就在這時正念來了，科娜森在非治療過程中與我單獨對話道。

"To truly eat mindfully, we have to trust our body, which for most of us is a major leap of faith," she explains. "It is nearly impossible to hear what our body is telling us when we are working against it to lose weight. We come equipped with an internal navigation system to guide our eating. The problem is that we spend so much of our lives trying to override this internal GPS that it becomes very hard to hear what our body is telling us."

"想真正的用心吃東西，我們就不得不信任我們的身體，對我們大多數人來說，這是一次信仰的重大飛躍，"她解釋道。"當我們逆身體之道減肥時，我們幾乎無法聽到身體想要告訴我們什麼。我們生來就有內部導航系統，指引着我們的飲食。問題是我們大多數時候都試圖無視內在的導航系統，因此很難聽到身體想要告訴我們什麼。"