暴躁的小夥伴就註定熱血終生麼大綱

Can you change your personality significantly? For example, if you are shy, can you turn yourself into an extrovert who never gets stage fright when speaking in public?

你能徹底改變自己的性格麼？比如，從一個害羞之人變成一個在公衆面前登臺演講從不怯場的外向之人。

It’s certainly not easy, but experts say it is possible.

顯然，這並非易事，但是專家說這也不是天方夜譚。

First of all, you will never stay the same person. The Wall Street Journal reports several research studies conducted over the past few years show a person’s personality naturally changes over time in response to life events such as entering a committed relationship or advancing in your career.

首先，你需要不拘泥於過去的自己。《華爾街日報》報道了在過去幾年進行的一些研究，研究發現，人的性格會隨着經歷一些人生大事而不斷變化，比如一段穩定感情的開始、事業的晉升。

From the ages of 20 to 65, people report increases in positive traits. Most people tend to become more agreeable, more responsible, more emotionally stable. Their personalities improve as they mature.

在25至65歲之間，人們性格中積極的一面會不斷增強。大多數人都會變得更加親切、更具責任心、感情更專一。性格隨着人的成熟而日臻完善。

When researchers talk about “personality”, they mean a “characteristic pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving that is consistent over time and across situations,” says Christopher Soto, a research psychologist at Colby College in Maine, US. Soto told The Wall Street Journal that personality is about 50 percent innate and 50 percent learned.

在接受《華爾街日報》採訪時，美國緬因州科爾比學院的心理學家克里斯托弗•索托說：此處，研究人員所說的“性格”是指“（一個人）不會隨時間與具體情況而輕易改變的思維方式、感覺以及行爲的特點。”而性格中與生俱來的部分與後天習得的部分各佔50%。

Psychologists usually use the Big Five personality model. According to this model, the human personality can be divided into five broad categories or domains — openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism and extroversion.

心理學家常使用“五大類”人格模型，將人類的性格分爲五大類：開放型、勤奮型、宜人型、神經質和型外向型。

Some personality types are more successful than others. Soto says people who are more conscientious tend to do better in the workplace and school. People who score high on agreeableness and low on neuroticism tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships. Extroverts do better in social and entrepreneurial occupations.

其中一些性格類型的人要比其他類型的人更容易成功。索托說，更勤奮的人在工作與學習中表現更好。宜人性高而神經質低的人更容易建立令人滿意且穩定的人際關係。外向型的人則在社交與創業中表現突出。

Time is key

時間是關鍵

According to Soto, even small changes in a person’s personality can produce important effects on relationships, career, health and happiness. But change takes time.

據索托所言，一個人性格的細微改變都可能對其感情、事業、健康與幸福帶來巨大影響。但改變需要時間。

“You start by changing the behavior and then, if you can maintain that new behavior over time, it gets encoded,” Soto says.

他說，“你應該從改變行爲開始，如果你能在一段時間內保持新的行爲方式，那麼它就會被滲透到你的性格特點中。”

Where do you start? “First, we have to recognize which pieces of our personality affect us,” says Richard Levak, a well-known personality expert who often appears in US TV programs. “If I am always getting fired because I get into arguments with co-workers and always blame others, then I have to realize that I have to change something,” he says.

你又要從哪裏開始（改變）呢？經常現身美國電視節目的知名性格專家理查德•裏瓦克的建議是：“首先，我們需要認識到自身性格中的哪一部分對自己產生了影響。如果我常常會因爲與同事的爭論而遭到解僱，卻責怪他人，那麼我就會意識到自己必須在某些方面有所改變。”

Don’t set your expectations too high. Be patient. Warren Kennaugh, a behavioral strategist in Sydney, Australia, says it’s important to start small. Identify a first step and then practice it without worrying about the initial results. “It’s like learning to kick a football, you focus on the steps, not whether it goes in the goal,” The Wall Street Journal quoted him as saying.

不過也不要把你的目標定得太高。要有耐心。來自澳大利亞悉尼的行爲策略師沃倫•肯諾就認爲從小處做起很重要。確定你第一步要做什麼，然後進行練習，不要擔心最初的結果。正如《華爾街日報》引用他的話：“這就像學踢足球一樣。你關注的是腳法，而不是能否射門。”

You should also let the people close to you know what you’re doing. “Not only can they be supportive,” Kennaugh says, “but a change for you can also mean a change for them — one they may not want or be ready for, if they aren’t told beforehand.”

你還應該讓身邊的人知道你在做什麼。肯諾說：“他們不僅能爲你提供支持，而且你的改變也意味着對他們的改變——如果你不事先告訴他們的話，他們也許會對你的改變感到難以接受或是還沒有做好準備。”