雙語散文:我不會爲平等去送死

【英文原文】

I Won't Die for Equality

摘要：The army is slammed for sexism, but do we want a Mum's Army？
軍隊因爲性別歧視而受指責，但難道我們需要一支娘子軍嗎？

Seventy-five years ago all British women were finally given what all British men had been granted 10 years earlier ——the right to vote. First of f the blocks to mark the occasion has been, oddly, the Sun (that same organ, ironically, mostly 'celebrates' women's emancipation with a naked interest in their bulging breasts and shapely bums).

That no one else has yet seemed to notice reflects the fact that the winning side in the equality war doesn't want to waste precious time crowing. They want to get on with dealing the most humiliating defeat upon the remaining enemy: foes such as those employers who pay women less than comparable men; the corporations with an all-male hierarchy at the top; and of course the men who tiresomely persist in sexist words or behaviour.

Like the military. A report last week slammed the Army for sexism, complaining that women are called 'girls' ——quite different, the authors said, from referring to the troops as 'our boys'. 'Boys', it seems, is a good, encouraging, matey kind of word. 'Girls', by contrast, is derogatory and demeaning. This was only to be expected, the authors pointed out, from an institution that enjoys 'partial' exemption from equal opportunities legislation ?nbsp;and thus can exclude its 'girls' from some direct combat positions. How chauvinist can you get?

But hold on: do women really want to turn Dad's Army into Mum's Army, a posse of latter-day Amazons braving the front line, cheek by jowl with their male counterparts? We don't want to stand beside the boys and fire rifles into the whites of Iraqi eyes. Nor are we gasping for a chance to be blasted to smithereens by a cluster bomb. I may not be crazy about being called 'girl', but that doesn't mean I want to be mowed down with the 'boys' in the killing fields.

Yet this kind of job-equalising ——if Jack can do it, Jill sure as hell can do it better ——has long been cherished by social planners, feminist or not. For decades, men-only enclaves gave women their battle cry: let me in there! The xclusion zone in those days ranged from smart clubs, manual work, the Church of England and the armed forces.

Now it has shrunk to a few moth-eaten armchairs in clubland; the golfers' paradise——the Royal and Ancient Club of St Andrews; the Roman Catholic priesthood; and front-line combat.

The head of the Stock Exchange is a woman, female plumbers are growing in numbers (including that Oxford graduate, Nicola Gillison, who made headlines recently because she ditched her consultancy job for a mole wrench), and one in 12 of the Army is female. As for women lorry drivers, that should be no surprise. Women drivers have such a sterling record that insurance companies now offer cheaper premiums in return for the promise that no man will come anywhere near the four wheels of their car.

Given such progress, only rabid equalisers would argue that they cannot rest until women have the right to be wind bagged by some old geezer reading Horse and Hound by the fire; or risk death or a war wound through their rightful place on the front line.

Social engineering that fixes men and women in the same post, at all costs, makes no sense. As the foreigner chewed his dumplings at some dire Intourist restaurant in the Soviet Union, his (or her) surprised gaze might alight upon the workers outside in their drab overalls. Who were those stocky muscular figures clambering up the scaffolding with buckets of primrose yellow paint to freshen up the crumbling facades of the surrounding buildings? Women. Who was heaving the garbagecontainers into the dilapidated rubbish truck? Women. Who was shovelling up the piles of dirt and grit left in the melted snow by the side of the road? Women.

And what of the Israeli army, which believes women sabras as well as men should face enemy fire? That idea has proved a disaster ?nbsp; with men behaving suicidally to protect the women, casualties mounting, and the government now considering legislation to keep women away from the front. It's been a dire tale in the American military too, with physical strength tests rigged to accommodate women soldiers who with the best will in the world cannot throw a hand grenade to a safe distance.

There's nothing wrong with a handful of super-tough modern-day GI Janes being hooked on Jane's Guide to Extra Lethal Infantry Weapons, or wasting their weekends playing war games; the modern military needs women to boost its flagging recruits, and if supply now matches demands, I am sure we can all rest more easily in the shadow of the Axis of Evil.

But a woman does not need to be in the firing line to feel as good as a man. That is an equality too far.

【中文譯文】

不平等，毋寧死？

七十五年前，全體英國女性最終獲得了全體英國男性早十年就已獲得的選舉權。奇怪的是，第一個讓這條消息見報的是《太陽報》（具有諷刺意味的是，同樣是這份報紙，大多數情況下“慶祝”婦女解放時都毫不掩飾對女性高聳的胸脯和形狀優美的臀部的興趣）。

這一點似乎並未引起他人注意，這反映了這場平等之戰的贏家並不想浪費寶貴的時間去歡呼。她們要繼續戰鬥，給殘敵以沉重打擊：這些敵人包括那些讓男女同工不同酬的業主；最高決策層爲清一色男性的公司；當然還有那些堅持性別歧視語言或行爲且樂此不疲的男性。

就說軍隊吧。上週的一個報告指責部隊搞性別歧視，抱怨說女兵被叫作“姑娘們”——作者說，這跟把軍隊稱作“小夥子們”完全不同。“小夥子們”似乎是個好的、鼓舞人心的、表示友好的詞。而相比之下“姑娘們”就是貶義的，有辱人格。作者還指出，只有在一個享受部分免除機會均等立法束縛的機構，纔會發生這種事，而且他們因此可以不讓“姑娘們”進入最前沿陣地。性別沙文主義是多麼猖狂！

但且慢：女性真的想把爹爹軍變爲娘子軍嗎？一支強悍剛勇的現代娘子軍要在前線與她們的男同胞們並肩衝鋒陷陣？我們並不想與小夥子們並肩站着，用步槍子彈射入伊拉克人的眼睛。我們同樣不會渴望被集束炸彈撕成碎片。我可能並不在意被稱作“姑娘”，但這並不意味着我想在血腥的沙場跟那些“小夥子們”一起成片地倒下。

但這種就業的機會均等——如果男的能做，女的肯定能做得更好——長期以來被不論男女的 社會計劃者們奉爲頭等大事。幾十年來，對那些原先由男人壟斷的地方，女人們就吹起號角，發起衝鋒，高呼：讓我們進來！那時的禁區有時髦俱樂部、體力勞動、英國國教和軍隊。

而今這些禁區已縮小到倫敦俱樂部區最爲保守的幾個、高爾夫俱樂部（如聖安德魯皇家和古典俱樂部）、羅馬天主教的神職人員和前線作戰人員。股票交易所的負責人是位女性，女性管道工人數量也在增加（包括那位叫尼古拉·吉利森的牛津畢業生，最近她由於放棄了諮詢公司的工作去當一名下水道鉗工而成爲頭條新聞），軍隊裏12個士兵中就有一個是女的。至於女貨車駕駛員，那應該一點也不奇怪。女性駕駛員有着非常優秀的安全行駛記錄，結果現在只要她們允諾不會有任何男性碰她們的車，保險公司就可以讓她們少交保險費。

在獲得如此進步的情況下，只有狂熱的機會均等主義者纔會振振有詞地說，直到女性有權選擇她們是願意在爐火旁聽一個怪老頭喋喋不休地讀《馬與獵犬》還是上前線冒生命危險或受傷，她們纔會歇着。

千方百計讓男女幹同樣工作的社會工程毫無意義。外國人在蘇聯沉悶的國際旅行社餐廳裏嚼着糰子時，他（或她）驚訝的目光可能會停留在餐廳外面穿着灰褐色工裝褲的工人身上。那些滿身粘乎乎、體形粗壯，提着一桶桶淡黃色油漆艱難地攀上腳手架去刷新周圍建築物凹凸不平門面的都是些什麼人？是女性。是誰用力舉起垃圾箱並搬進破舊不堪的垃圾車？是女性。又是誰把融化了的雪裏的一堆堆爛泥和沙礫鏟到路邊？是女性。

以色列的軍隊認爲不管土生土長的女性還是男性都應該面對敵人的槍口，情形又是怎樣呢？這種觀念已被證明是一場災難：男性爲了保護女性奮不顧身，結果傷亡人數攀升，政府現正考慮立法讓女性離開前線。美國軍隊的有關情況同樣慘淡， 體能測試被做了手腳，讓那些盡最大力量也不能把手榴彈擲到安全距離的女兵得到“照顧”。

少數幾個超英勇的現役女性對《簡氏超大殺傷力步兵武器指南》愛不釋手，或把週末泡在戰爭遊戲裏，這沒有什麼錯。現代軍隊需要女性來補充其低落的兵源，若這方面供需平衡，我肯定在“邪惡軸心”的陰影下我們可以睡得更安穩些。

但女性不必非要匍匐在前沿陣地上纔會像男性那樣感覺良好。那是太牽強的平等。

【詞彙講解】

1. be slammed: = be criticized.

2. chauvinist: 沙文主義的。

3. posse: = a strong force or company.

4. Amazon: 希臘神話中居住在黑海邊的亞馬孫族女戰士，現用以指代“強悍剛勇的女子”。

5. cheek by jowl (with): （和……）緊緊靠着。

6. mow down: = kill or destroy randomly or at great number.

7. Jack與Jill用以指代“男人、女人”。如：Every Jack has his Jill.（人各有偶。）。

8. 俱樂部區（如倫敦St. James宮一帶）里老掉牙的扶手椅，指“最爲保守的俱樂部”。

9. geezer: <俚>古怪老頭，老傢伙。

10. Intourist: （蘇聯）國際旅行社。

11. sabra: ［亦作S-］土生土長的以色列人。

12. rig: （爲達預定目的）對……預先做手腳。

13. GI:美國現役軍人。GI Jane指“現役女兵”。

14. “邪惡軸心”（美國現任總統布什用語，指伊朗、伊拉克、朝鮮和利比亞四國，認爲它們對世界安全——其實是美國安全——構成最大的威脅）。作者在此處有揶揄之意。