經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第2章1

One of the extraordinary things about life is the sort of places it’s prepared to put up with living. Anywhere it can get some kind of a grip, whether it’s the intoxicating seas of Santraginus V, where the fish never seem to care whatever the heck kind of direction they swim in, the fire storms of Frastra where, they say, life begins at 40,000 degrees, or just burrowing around in the lower intestine of a rat for the sheer unadulterated hell of it, life will always find a way of hanging on in somewhere.

生命的妙處很多，其中之一就在於，它時時刻刻準備着在任何地方過活，不管那地方有多糟。比方說，在桑特拉金斯5號星毒氣熏天的海里，它可以變成條沒頭沒腦游來游去的魚；在福拉司忒拉那據說生命從40000度開始的火焰風暴裏，它也一樣吃得開；甚至在耗子的小腸那種全無樂趣可言的鬼地方，它照樣可以悠然自得地晃來晃去。

It will even live in New York, though it’s hard to know why. In the winter time the temperature falls well below the legal minimum, or rather it would do if anybody had the common sense to set a legal minimum. The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

它甚至願意待在紐約，儘管箇中緣由常人實在無從揣摩。那地方，冬天溫度陡降，遠遠低於法定最低溫度——或者說，它本來準會低於法定最低溫度，前提是你能找到個稍微有點常識的人來制定這麼個溫度。上一回有人做調查，搞了張表列舉紐約人最爲顯著的一百個性格優點，“常識”一直等人家喊到第79號才偷偷溜了進去。

In the summer it’s too darn hot. It’s one thing to be the sort of life form that thrives on heat and finds, as the Frastrans do, that the temperature range between 40,000 and 40,004 is very equable, but it’s quite another to be the sort of animal that has to wrap itself up in lots of other animals at one point in your planet’s orbit, and then find, half an orbit later, that your skin’s bubbling.

那兒的夏天熱得要命。如果你是那種越熱越開心的動物，比如說像福拉司忒拉的居民那樣，覺得在40000℃到40004℃之間活着最舒服，那當然是另一碼事兒，可你明明不是。自己的星球轉到一邊的時候，你總要拿好多其他動物的皮毛把渾身裹個嚴嚴實實；而等它再轉上半圈，又只能眼看着自個兒的皮膚起泡泡。你是這樣的生物，竟然會願意住到這種地方。

Spring is over-rated. A lot of the inhabitants of New York will honk on mightily about the pleasures of spring, but if they actually knew the first thing about the pleasures of spring they would know of at least five thousand nine hundred and eighty-three better places to spend it than New York, and that’s just on the same latitude.

春天同樣名不副實。紐約人多半喜歡嘰裏呱啦地吹噓他們的春天有多麼好，可如果他們當真瞭解哪怕一丁點兒關於春天的好處，他們就會知道世界上還有至少五千九百八十三個地方，它們的春天全比紐約強，而且這還只是統計了同一個緯度。

Fall, though, is the worst. Few things are worse than fall in New York. Some of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats would disagree, but most of the things that live in the lower intestines of rats are highly disagreeable anyway, so their opinion can and should be discounted. When it’s fall in New York, the air smells as if someone’s been frying goats in it, and if you are keen to breathe, the best plan is to open a window and stick your head in a building.

不過呢，秋天，它絕對是最糟的。很少有什麼東西能爛過紐約的秋天。住在老鼠消化道里的那些生物對此或許會有些不同意見，但對住在老鼠消化道里的東西你還能指望什麼？所以它們的意見當然可以而且應該置之不理。在紐約，秋天的空氣聞着就好像有人在裏頭油炸山羊似的；如果你非要呼吸不可，最好的辦法就是打開一扇窗戶，把腦袋伸進哪棟樓裏——千萬別直接聞外面的空氣。

Tricia McMillan loved New York. She kept on telling herself this over and over again. The Upper West Side. Yeah. Mid Town. Hey, great retail. SoHo. The East Village. Clothes. Books. Sushi. Italian. Delis. Yo.

崔茜卡麥克米倫熱愛紐約。她不停地這麼告訴自己，說了一遍又一遍。曼哈頓西區。耶。中城。嘿，零售棒極了。休南區。東村。 衣服。書。壽司。意大利菜。熟食店。歐耶。