經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第25章

Chapter 25
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has this to say about the planet of Golgafrincham: It is a planet with an ancient and mysterious history, rich in legend, red, and occasionally green with the blood of those who sought in times gone by to conquer her; a land of parched and barren landscapes, of sweet and sultry air heady with the scent of the perfumed springs that trickle over its hot and dusty rocks and nourish the dark and musty lichens beneath; a land of fevered brows and intoxicated imaginings, particularly amongst those who taste the lichens; a land also of cool and shaded thoughts amongst those who have learnt to forswear the lichens and find a tree to sit beneath; a land also of steel and blood and heroism; a land of the body and of the spirit. This was its history.
And in all this ancient and mysterious history, the most mysterious figures of all were without doubt those of the Great Circling Poets of Arium. These Circling Poets used to live in remote mountain passes where they would lie in wait for small bands of unwary travellers, circle round them, and throw rocks at them.
And when the travellers cried out, saying why didn’t they go away and get on with writing some poems instead of pestering people with all this rock-throwing business, they would suddenly stop, and then break into one of the seven hundred and ninety-four great Song Cycles of Vassilian. These songs were all of extraordinary beauty, and even more extraordinary length, and all fell into exactly the same pattern.
The first part of each song would tell how there once went forth from the City of Vassilian a party of five sage princes with four horses. The princes, who are of course brave, noble and wise, travel widely in distant lands, fought giant ogres, pursue exotic philosophies, take tea with weird gods and rescue beautiful monsters from ravening princesses before finally announcing that they have achieved enlightenment and that their wanderings are therefore accomplished. The second, and much longer, part of each song would then tell of all their bickerings about which one of them is going to have to walk back.
All this lay in the planet’s remote past. It was, however, a descendant of one of these eccentric poets who invented the spurious tales of impending doom which enabled the people of Golgafrincham to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. The other two-thirds stayed firmly at home and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone.

第二十五章
在《銀河系漫遊指南》中，是這樣描述這顆名爲高爾伽弗林查姆的行星的：這是一顆有着悠欠和神粕}歷史的行星，充滿了傳說，呈紅色，偶爾也會被那些多次企圖征服她的人的血染成綠色。這片大陸氣候炎熱，景色荒蕪，甜蜜而悶熱的空氣混合着香未小溪的氣味，這些小溪趟過市滿灰塵的滾燙的岩石，滋養下面帶着麝香味的暗色苔蘚。這片大陸有狂熱的表情和興奮的想像，尤其是那些品嚐了那種苔蘚的人；這片大陸同樣也有冷靜和幽暗的思想，屬於那些學會了棄絕苔蘚、並且坐在樹蔭下的人們。這是一片有着鐵馬金戈和熱血豪情的大陸。這是一片身體的大陸，也是精神的大陸。這就是它的歷史。
在所有這些古老和神祕的歷史中間，最神祕的人物無疑是阿瑞爾姆的那些偉大的“包圍詩人”。這些“包圍詩人”曾經住在遙遠的山中，他們就待在那兒，等待小股的輕率的旅遊者，然後包固他們，朝他們扔石塊。
當這些旅遊者大喊大叫，問他們爲什麼不走開去寫寫詩什麼的，而不是在這裏拿扔石塊這種事來糾纏人們，他們就會突然停下，然後開始吟誦七百九十四首偉大的瓦希裏安歌謠中的一首。這些歌謠異常美妙，同時出乎異料地長，並且全都採用相同的風格。
每首歌的第一部分都是講述五個賢明的王子騎着四匹馬從瓦希裏安城裏出來。這些王子當然是勇猛、高貴和英明的，他們在大陸上旅行，與巨大的妖怪戰鬥，追蹤異國來的哲人，和諸神一起嚼茶，從貪婪的公主手裏解救美麗的罄物，最後宣稱他們已得到天啓，從而結束他們的漫遊。每首歌的第二部分則長得多，講述他們的爭執。爭執的枝心是他們中究竟誰應該走着回去。
所有這些都已塵封在這顆行星遙遠的過去。然而，一個古怪詩人的後代編造了一些末日即將來臨的假消息。幹是，高爾伽弗林查姆失去了總人口中完全沒什麼用處的那三分之一。另外三分之二則繼續安安分分地住在家裏，過着充實、富裕和快樂的生活，直到全部突然地被一種從一都受污染的電話傳播開來的致命疾病所消滅。