名著精讀:《悉達多》 婆羅門之子(4)

Govinda turned pale, when he heard these words and read the decision in the motionless face of his friend, unstoppable like the arrow shot from the bow. Soon and with the first glance, Govinda realized: Now it is beginning, now Siddhartha is taking his own way, now his fate is beginning to sprout, and with his, my own. And he turned pale like a dry banana-skin.

"O Siddhartha," he exclaimed, "will your father permit you to do that?"

Siddhartha looked over as if he was just waking up. Arrow-fast he read in Govinda soul, read the fear, read the submission.

"O Govinda," he spoke quietly, "let's not waste words. Tomorrow, at daybreak I will begin the life of the Samanas. Speak no more of it."

Siddhartha entered the chamber, where his father was sitting on a mat of bast, and stepped behind his father and remained standing there, until his father felt that someone was standing behind him. Quoth the Brahman: "Is that you, Siddhartha? Then say what you came to say."

Quoth Siddhartha: "With your permission, my father. I came to tell you that it is my longing to leave your house tomorrow and go to the ascetics. My desire is to become a Samana. May my father not oppose this."

The Brahman fell Silent, and remained silent for so long that the stars in the small window wandered and changed their relative positions, 'ere the silence was broken. Silent and motionless stood the son with his arms folded, silent and motionless sat the father on the mat, and the stars traced their paths in the sky. Then spoke the father: "Not proper it is for a Brahman to speak harsh and angry words. But indignation is in my heart. I wish not to hear this request for a second time from your mouth."

Slowly, the Brahman rose; Siddhartha stood silently, his arms folded.

"What are you waiting for?" asked the father.

Quoth Siddhartha: "You know what."

Indignant, the father left the chamber; indignant, he went to his bed and lay down.

戈文達聽了這話臉色煞白，他從朋友那不動聲色的臉上看出了決心，就像離弦之箭一樣不可扭轉的決心。戈文達一眼就明白了:事情已經開始，現在，席特哈爾塔要走他自己的路了，他的命運已開始萌發新牙，而自己的命運也與之相連。他的臉色蒼白得就像乾枯的香蕉皮。

“哦，席特哈爾塔，”他叫道，“你父親會許可嗎?”

席特哈爾塔就像睡醒的人那樣望過來。他很快不看出了戈文達的心，看出了害怕，也看出了順從。

“哦，戈文達，”他小聲說，“咱們別浪費口舌了。明天天一亮，我就要開始沙門的生活。別再說下去啦 。”

席特哈爾塔走進了房間，他父親正坐在一張麻織的席特哈爾塔子上。他走到父親身邊，站在那裏，一直到父親覺察出身後有人。這個婆羅門說:“是你嗎，席特哈爾塔？說吧，把你要說的話說出來吧。”

席特哈爾塔說:“爸爸，求你允許我吧。我是來告訴你，明天我想 離開這個家，去找苦行僧。當一個沙門是我的願望。但願爸爸你不會反對。”

這個婆羅門沒吭聲，沉默了很久， 一直到小窗裏出現了星星閃爍，並且改變了它們的位置，房間裏依然沉默。兒子一言不發，一動不動，交叉着胳臂站在那兒，父親也一言不發，一動不動，坐在席特哈爾塔子上，只有星星在天上移動。後來，父親纔開口說道:“婆羅門不適合說出激烈和生氣的話，可是，我的心裏很不滿。我不願意再從你嘴裏聽到這種請求。”

婆羅門說完便緩緩地站了起來。席特哈爾塔仍交叉着雙臂不聲不響地站着。

“你還等什麼?”父親問。

席特哈爾塔說:“你知道。”

父親氣沖沖地走出房間，摸到自己的牀鋪那兒躺下了。