初爲人父的90天 累並快樂着
Every day will be hard, but they're supposed to be, aren't they? And most days will be amazing. They should be, too.
每一天都是辛苦的一天，但本該如此，不是嗎?當然，每一天都充滿驚喜。正如我期待的那樣。
Day 1: Buckle up! The day of your child's birth is a wild ride that features a bit of everything: tension, anticipation, sleep deprivation, delirious joy, friends, family, in-laws and sketchy hospital food. There is no moment that compares to holding your baby for the first time. You are relieved and overjoyed, yet feel the arrival of massive responsibility. You truly feel like an adult now. Try to be cool, calm and supportive throughout.
Day 2: Unless you're a firefighter, you might never get used to interrupted sleep. Agree to take the early-morning stretch: You're awake well before work, alone with your baby, watching the sunrise -- and watching him watch the sunrise. Getting him to fall asleep in your arms is the dad skill sine qua non.
Day 3: Your meals are now eaten in shifts, amid the plaintive, desperate screams of a newborn. You will understand the importance of the little rituals in your relationship like dinner-table chitchat (sharing moments of your day, the latest gossip, laughter), and now need to create new ones.
Day 7: You agree to buy anything -- swings, bassinets, rockers -- that might make your baby sleep easier. Most of them won't. The fine folks at the Babies 'R' Us return counter seem to be understanding.
Day 10: Outside of work, everything you do will now be subject to interruption. Finishing a meal, seeing a movie all the way through or even making it out the door is an unexpected triumph.
Day 11: On his bad days your baby will cry nonstop, for no discernable reason (he's fed; his diaper is clean; he appears comfortable). You each put hours into calming him, without result. You feel awful losing your temper on a 10-pound little human. You vow to do better next time.
Day 13: There is a song out there, whichever one it is for you, that will calm your screaming baby. Search every stop on the FM dial, the Internet, and your iTunes library until you find it.
Day 15: You will think dark thoughts. Remind yourself your baby won't be this helpless and irascible for long. Everything shall pass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Day 17: After months of harboring quiet resentment for your childless friends, for the first time, you suddenly -- and most unexpectedly -- feel pity for them.
Day 19: The first text from your partner that involves adult conversation instead of baby photos, videos, updates or a shopping list will take you back, Proust-like, to your once-glamorous, carefree, kid-free relationship days.
Day 21: Cards. Flowers. Effusive flattery. Find the right moment. Cross your fingers the baby stays asleep.
Day 30: Going anywhere with your baby is an event. A table of pretty girls will turn in unison through the window of a restaurant as you walk by. Old ladies at the market will ask how old he is. Gay men will unfailingly compliment him. He controls a room wherever he goes. You will enjoy the attention.
Day 32: Small disagreements with your partner metastasize into ugly ones as you each become a conduit for all the stress of raising a baby that you can't take out on the baby himself. Be aware of it. Apologize when you're in the wrong.
Day 38: A thousand new photos on your phone since birth. You'll be glad you took every single one. Back 'em up before you run out of memory!
Day 52: Now finally seems like a good time to connect with old friends you haven't seen since they had kids.
Day 61: You discover that introducing your baby to your grandfather and getting that multi-generation photo is one of the more underrated moments in a man's life.
Day 67: It's difficult to walk out the door to work some mornings. You envy your partner getting to spend all day with your baby, and you daydream about all the things you'll do with your family in the coming weekend.
Day 77: Before he was born you promised yourself that you'd keep baby paraphernalia to a minimum. His stuff is now everywhere. Your home feels smaller than ever.
Day 78: Ask for that raise.
Day 80: You swear your partner has never looked this good. And her nascent maternal skills have added a whole other dimension to your affection for her. Let her know -- she needs to hear it more than you realize.
Day 85: A hotly anticipated new restaurant will open, and chances are you won't notice or won't care. If you do go, you'll dine there at 5:45. The hostess will seat you near other young families.
Day 90: There comes a day when you can palpably feel the change -- suddenly your baby is crying less and sleeping more. After 12 manic months of pregnancy and new parenthood, you too have come a long way, and without turning into a hapless TV dad. You realize that more than anything else, babies make you appreciate the present and look forward to the future.
And isn't that ultimately what we all want most in life?
第1天：繃緊神經!孩子的降臨意味着一切：緊張，期待，失眠，狂喜，朋友，家人以及粗糙的醫院餐。世上再沒有一個瞬間比起第一次懷抱你的寶貝更令人激動。你欣喜若狂，慰藉不已，但隨之而來的是初爲人父的責任。現在你才真正意識到自己是個大人了。學會保持冷靜，幫助照顧孩子。
第2天：除非你是消防員，否則你不可能習慣睡眠被打攪。清晨需要舒展運動開始新的一天：你要早早地起牀，帶上你的孩子，一起看日出，他在看日出，你卻在看他。新手爸爸的必備技能就是抱孩子在臂彎間，哄他酣然入睡。
第3天：用餐要分幾次，因爲孩子淒厲的尖叫讓你不得不放下碗筷。你終於明白了生活中那些維繫關係的小儀式的重要性，比如餐桌閒談，彼此交換每天的趣聞，但你卻必須放棄，另尋適合的新方式。
第7天：爲了孩子舒適的睡眠，你會把一切都買回家——鞦韆、搖籃、搖椅等等。但大部分都不管用。還好“寶媽超市”退貨櫃臺的工作人員足夠通情達理。
第10天：除去工作時間，你所做的每件事都會被打斷。順利地吃一頓飯，看一場電影，甚至是出門一次都是不小的勝利啊。
第11天：碰上壞日子，你的寶貝會不知出於什麼原因，不停歇地一直哭。你已經餵飽他，換好尿布，一切都很舒適，但他就是不停地哭。你們輪流安撫他，但毫無作用。你對10磅重的小人發脾氣，這真是太槽糕了。你發誓下次會做得更好。
第13天：總有一首歌能幫你平息嬰兒的尖叫。快去收音機，網絡和iTunes音樂庫好好找一找吧。
第15天：你會產生消極的想法。要記得提醒自己，你的寶貝很快就會長大，不再無法自助，暴躁易怒。一切都會好起來。別再暗自神傷。
第17天：幾個月來，你內心中對無子女的朋友們累積了許多不滿，但你卻第一次爲他們感到遺憾。這感覺來得突然，出人意料。
第19天：妻子終於傳來第一封短信，談論了大人的話題，而不再是嬰兒照片，視頻，近況以及購物單，這纔將你拽回從前，那曾輝煌燦爛，無憂無慮，沒有困擾的日子。
第21天：卡片，鮮花，溢美之詞。你要找個恰當的時機送給你的妻子。上帝保佑那時你的寶貝正在沉睡。
第30天：走到哪，就把孩子帶到哪。這樣，你經過餐館的時候，一桌子的漂亮女孩都會轉頭，透過玻璃朝你看。超市裏的婦女們會問寶貝多大了。男同志們則總是讚美之詞不斷。他在哪，哪兒就是焦點。你會享受到大家的關注。
第32天：養育孩子帶來壓力，當然不能朝孩子發泄，夫妻就是彼此的垃圾桶，這容易將小問題催化成大矛盾。注意到這點，這樣你錯了的話就要及時道歉。
第38天：自孩子出生，手機裏滿滿地全是他的照片。每一張你都很喜歡。記得在手機內存用完之前，做好備份。
第52天：是時候見見老朋友了。之前他們有了孩子，你們就不怎麼聯繫了。
第61天：帶着孩子去拜訪你的祖父，再拍一張四世同堂的家庭合照。這絕對是一個人一生中不可忽略的大事。
第67天：總有那麼幾天，早晨出門時牽掛不已。你羨慕妻子能在家陪着孩子一整天，你做着白日夢，籌謀着下週的家庭計劃。
第77天：孩子出生前，你暗暗發誓，嬰兒用品不再多，夠用就行。你看現在，到處堆滿他的東西，擠得房間都像是變小了。
第78天：要求加薪。
第80天：你讚美妻子，她從未如此美麗。新生的母性光輝另一種程度上更加吸引你，加深你的愛。說給她聽—— 她比你認爲地更需要這些讚美。
第85天：備受矚目的新餐館就要開張了，但你大概不會注意或是不太關心。就算你獨自去了，你會被安排坐在年輕夫妻旁邊，5點45就開餐。
第90天：終於，你明顯感覺到了不同 ，突然之間，你的寶貝哭的少了，睡的多了。在經歷了初爲人父以來混亂瘋狂的12周後，你還有很長的路要走，別不幸變成了電視裏的倒黴爸爸。你會意識到，是孩子讓你懂得感恩現在，展望未來。
這不就是最終我們最想要的生活嗎?
