《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 52 (113):感應力

"What is it, then?"

“那是什麼？”

I explained to the monk why I had come to dread the Gurugita, how tortuous it feels.

我向僧人說明自己恐懼古魯梵歌的原因，我複雜的感受。

He said, "Wow—look at you. Even just talking about it you're getting all bent out of shape."

他說：“哇，看看你。哪怕只是談到它，都讓你不愉快。”

It was true. I could feel cold, clammy sweat accumulating in my armpits.

沒錯，我感覺到溼冷的汗水在腋窩逐漸累積。

I asked, "Can't I use that time to do other practices, instead? I find sometimes that if I go to the meditation cave during the Gurugita I can get a nice vibe going for meditation."

我問“難道我不能把時間用來做其他修行？我發現，有時在古魯梵歌時間去禪坐洞，能使我對禪坐產生一種感應力。”

"Ah—Swamiji would've yelled at you for that. He would've called you a chanting thief for riding on the energy of everyone else's hard work. Look, the Gurugita isn't supposed to be a fun song to sing. It has a different function. It's a text of unimaginable power. It is a mighty purifying practice. It burns away all your junk, all your negative emotions. And I think it's probably having a positive effect on you if you're experiencing such strong emotions and physical reactions while you're chanting it. This stuff can be painful, but it's awfully beneficial."

“啊——‘思瓦米吉’會爲此朝你大吼。他會說你是個吟唱賊，靠他人辛勤工作的能量前進。嘿，古魯梵歌不該是有趣的歌。它有其他功能。它描述難以想象的動力，是一種強有力的精煉修行。它燒燬你所有的破爛，所有的負面情緒。如果你在吟唱時體驗到如此強烈的情緒和生理反應，我想或許它正在對你產生正面功效。這東西可能不好受，卻很有益。”

"How do you keep the motivation to stay with it?"

“該如何保持堅持下去的動機？”

"What's the alternative? To quit whenever something gets challenging? To futz around your whole life, miserable and incomplete?"

“有別種選擇嗎？每回遇上挑戰就放棄？瞎混一生，過着悲慘、不完整的生活？”“你剛剛說‘瞎混’？”

"Did you really just say 'futz around'?" "Yes. Yes, I did."

“沒錯，我是這麼說。”

"What should I do?"

“那我該怎麼做？”

"You have to decide for yourself. But my advice—since you asked—is that you stick to chanting the Gurugita while you're here, especially because you're having such an extreme reaction to it. If something is rubbing so hard against you, you can be sure it's working on you. This is what the Gurugita does. It burns away the ego, turns you into pure ash. It's supposed to be arduous, Liz. It has power beyond what can be rationally understood. You're only staying at the Ashram another week, right? And then you're free to go traveling and have fun. So just chant the thing seven more times, then you never have to do it again. Remember what our Guru says—be a scientist of your own spiritual experience. You're not here as a tourist or a journalist; you're here as a seeker. So explore it."

“你得自己決定。但是我勸你——既然你問了我——趁待在這裏的時候繼續吟唱古魯梵歌，特別是因爲你對它有如此極端的反應。假如哪個東西這麼用力摩擦你，八成對你奏效。古魯梵歌正是如此。它燒燬你的自我，把你變成純粹的灰燼。小莉，它是一條艱苦的道路，其動力超越理性所能理解。你待在道場的時間不是隻剩下一個星期了嗎？之後你可以隨意去旅行，找樂子。所以，就請你再吟唱七天吧，之後永遠不用再去碰它。記住我們的導師說過的話——研究自己的心靈經驗。你不是來這裏觀光或報道的，你是來這裏追尋的。所以就去體驗吧。”

"So you're not letting me off the hook?"

“所以你不讓我脫身？”

"You can let yourself off the hook anytime you want, Liz. That's the divine contract of a little something we call free will." Eat, Pray, Love

“你隨時能讓自己脫身，小莉。這小小的神聖條約，我們稱之爲‘自由意志’。”