《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 93 (221):找個情人?

He's been living in Bali for about five years now, working with Balinese silversmiths to make jewelry from Brazilian gemstones for export to America. I like the fact that he was faith-fully married for almost twenty years before his marriage deteriorated for its own multicomplic-ated plethora of reasons. I like the fact that he has already raised children, and that he raised them well, and that they love him. I like that he was the parent who stayed home and tended to his children when they were little, while his Australian wife pursued her career. (A good feminist husband, he says, "I wanted to be on the correct side of social history.") I like his nat-ural Brazilian over-the-top displays of affection. (When his Australian son was fourteen years old, the boy finally had to say, "Dad, now that I'm fourteen, maybe you shouldn't kiss me on the mouth anymore when you drop me off at school.") I like the fact that Felipe speaks four, maybe more, languages fluently. (He keeps claiming he doesn't speak Indonesian, but I hear him talking it all day long.) I like that he's traveled through over fifty countries in his life, and that he sees the world as a small and easily managed place. I like the way he listens to me, leaning in, interrupting me only when I interrupt myself to ask if I am boring him, to which he always responds, "I have all the time in the world for you, my lovely little darling." I like being called "my lovely little darling."(Even if the waitress gets it, too.)

他住在巴厘島至今已五年之久，和巴厘島銀器匠合作，將由巴西寶石製作而成的珠寶首飾出口到美國去。我喜歡他忠心耿耿維持二十年婚姻，而後才因種種複雜的理由逐漸變質的故事。我喜歡他撫養過孩子，而且撫養得很好，讓孩子們喜歡他。我喜歡他在孩子們還小的時候待在家中照顧他們，他的澳洲太太則去追求自己的事業（他說自己是個女性主義好丈夫："我想走在社會史上正確的一方。"）我喜歡他這種巴西人天性誇大其辭的感情表白（他的澳洲兒子十四歲時終於不得不說："老爸，我已經十四歲，或許你不該在送我上學、在校門口下車時再親我的嘴了。"）我喜歡斐利貝能說四種，或許更多種流利的語言。（他一直說自己不會講印尼語，可是我卻聽他一天到晚在講。）我喜歡他這輩子游歷過五十多個國家，在他眼中，世界是個不難處理的小地方。我喜歡他聽我說話的模樣，傾着身子，只有在我打斷自己問他說，我講的話是否讓他無聊時，他纔會插進來說話，而他總是答說："我有全部的時間給你，我可愛的小甜心。"我喜歡他叫我"我可愛的小甜心"。（儘管女服務生亦獲得此一稱謂。）

He said to me the other night, "Why don't you take a lover while you're in Bali, Liz?"

有天晚上他對我說："小莉，你怎麼不趁着待在巴厘島的時候找個情人？"

To his credit, he didn't just mean himself, though I believe he might be willing to take on the job. He assured me that Ian—that good-looking Welsh guy—would be a fine match for me, but there are other candidates, too. There's a chef from New York City, "a great, big, muscular, confident fellow," whom he thinks I might like. Really there are all sorts of men here, he said, all of them floating through Ubud, expatriates from everywhere, hiding out in this shifting community of the planet's "homeless and assetless," many of whom would be happy to see to it, "my lovely darling, that you have a wonderful summer here."

爲了自己的信譽起見，他這麼說並不僅僅意味着他可以勝任，儘管我相信他或許樂意接受這份工作。他向我保證伊恩——相貌好看的威爾士傢伙——很適合我，但也有其他候選人。有位紐約來的主廚，"一名健壯、高大、自信的好兄弟"，他認爲我或許會看得上。他說，這裏實在有各式各樣、來自世界各地的男人，浮沉於烏布鎮，躲藏在世間不斷變動的"無家無產"社區當中，而許多人都樂於見到我，"我可愛的小甜心，你在這兒有個美好的夏日"。

"I don't think I'm ready for it," I told him. "I don't feel like going through all the effort of romance again, you know? I don't feel like having to shave my legs every day or having to show my body to a new lover. And I don't want to have to tell my life story all over again, or worry about birth control. Anyway, I'm not even sure I know how to do it anymore. I feel like I was more confident about sex and romance when I was sixteen than I am now."

"我覺得自己還沒準備好，"我告訴他，"我不想再費心去談情說愛，你瞭解吧？我不想每天得刮腿毛，或必須讓新戀人看我的身體。我也不想再從頭說一遍我的人生故事，或擔心避孕的事。總之，我甚至不確定自己能不能再過這種日子。我覺得自己十六歲的時候比現在對性和談情說愛更有自信。"