幽默的英語經典小笑話

一個成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽者和講者都會感到快樂、欣喜，拍掌叫好。今天小編就給大家分享一下英語的笑話，希望對大家有幫助

　　我是教歷史的

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table

一位歷史老師和他的妻子在吃飯

the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".

妻子問到：“工作上有什麼新鮮事嗎?”丈夫回答說：“沒有，我是教歷史的。”

　　小心有狗

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

一名陌生人走進一家鄉間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖着的一個告示牌上寫着，“危險! 小心有狗!” 進去後，他看到一條樣子一點都不兇的老狗趴在收款機旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大夥都得留神的那隻狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑。“我覺得那條狗一點都不可怕。 你帖那個告示做什麼?” “因爲，” 店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大夥老被他絆倒。”

　　以“命”抵命

the english author, richard savage, was once living inlondon in great poverty. in order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and savage was living from hand tomouth. as a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.

英國作家理查德·薩維奇一度在倫敦過着貧困潦倒的生活，爲了賺幾個錢，他曾寫了有關他自己生平的故事。但是這部書在書店裏並沒有賣出幾本，薩維奇過着朝不保夕的日子。由於缺乏食物，他病得很厲害。後來，由於給他治療的那個醫生的高明醫術，他才又恢復了健康。

after a week or two the doctorsent a bill to savage for his visits, but poor savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. the doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. but still no money came. afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. inthe end he came to savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to savage, “you know you owe your life to me and iexpected some gratitude from you.”

過了一兩個星期之後，醫生給薩維奇送來了一張討要診費的帳單，但是貧窮的薩維奇沒有錢來償付。醫生等了一個月後又送來了帳單，但仍然未索回分文。幾個星期之後，他又送來帳單要錢。最後，醫生本人來到了薩維奇的家中，對他說：“你明白，你是欠我一條命的，我希望你有所報答。”

“i agree,” said savage, “that i owe my life to you, and toprove to you that i am not ungrateful for your work i will givemy life to you.”

“是的，”薩維奇說，“我是欠你一條命，爲了向你證明我對你的診治不是不報答，我將把我的命給你。”

with these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,the life of richard savage.

說着這番話，薩維奇遞給醫生兩卷書，名叫《理查德·薩維奇的一生》。