簡單的英語笑話
笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。下面是本站小編帶來的簡單爆笑英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
settle down and settle up 一字之差
When my brother, a notorious1 spender, came home for a visit, he told my father he was going to get married and settle down. Dad said, "Why don't you stay single and settle up."
我的哥哥是個有名的揮霍者。他回家來時，告訴父親說他要結婚了，要安定下來。父親說：“你爲什麼不實行獨身主義，先把欠債還清呢?”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇二To Drum Up Business 招攬生意
A man accidentally slipped on a banana peel(香蕉皮) and performed a very funny fall. He was not hurt, but had his dignity somewhat ruffled1.
When he got better a moment later, he found a number of people standing2 round in a circle. He said angrily, "What are these idlers doing here.?"
"They are not idlers," explained his friend. "This man is a doctor. He wants to look you over." That man is a lawyer. He is ready to file suit for you. And a producer of comic films is waiting for you to sign a contract agreeing to work for him."
有個人不小心踩到一塊香蕉皮上，滑到的樣子非常滑稽，引人發笑。他沒有受傷，只是有點難情。
過了一會兒他感覺好些了的時候，發覺有好幾個人圍着他站成一圈。他很不高興地說：“這些閒人在這裏幹什麼呢?”
他的朋友解釋說：“他們不是閒人。這個人是醫生，他想給你檢查一下。那個人是律師，他準備爲你起訴。另一個人是喜劇電影的製片人，他在等你和他訂一個同意去給他拍片的合約。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇三Giving Degrees 授予學位
Woodrow Wilson disapproved1 very strongly of indiscriminate(無差別的) giving of honorary degrees when he was president of Princeton University.
He said, "Our universities have learned recently to give honorary degrees carefully. But in the past it was very promiscuous2(混雜的). I had met a n uncouth3(笨拙的) person who had three degrees, but then he spoke4 and behaved very rudely."
I asked an acquaintance why it was. He said, "Well, the third was given because he had had two. He was given the second because he had had one, and he was given the first because he had gone."
伍德羅·威爾遜當普凌斯頓大學的校長時，強烈反對隨便給人授予榮譽學位。
他說：“我們的大學最近才懂得授予授予榮譽學位要慎重，以前卻是很隨便的。我曾遇見一個很粗魯的人，他有三個這樣的學位，可是他的言談舉止很不文明。”
我問一個熟人爲什麼這個人能得到三個榮譽學位，他說：“授予他第三個學位是因爲他已有了兩個，給他第二個是因爲他已有了一個，而給他第一個則是因爲他沒有學位。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇四Each Man Has His Merits 各有所長
A foreigner applied1 for citizenship2 paper in New York. The judge asked him, "Do you want to be made a citizen of the United States?" The foreigner replied, "Yes, Mr. Judge."
Then the judge said, "I must examine you, do you know how many states are in the Union?" The foreigner answered, "Mr. Judge, I think I should talk to you that each man has his merits. You know your business so you know how many states are in the Union. I know my business, so I know how many bananas are in a bunch."
有個外國人在紐約申請美國公民身份的證件。法官爲他：“你想成爲美國公民嗎?” 外國人回答說：“是的，法官先生。”
法官說：“那我要考考你。你知道美國有多少個州嗎?”外國人回答說：“法官先生，我想應該和你講一下，人是各有所長的，你懂你的業務，所以你知道美國有多少個州，我懂我的業務，所以我知道一串香蕉有多少隻。”
簡單爆笑英語笑話篇五Simple Calculation 簡單估算費
A housewife didn't know how to estimate the cost of living, so she asked her husband about it。 Her husband said, "It's very simple. Take our income and add 30 per cent."
有個家庭主婦不知道怎樣估算他們的生活費用，就去問她的丈夫。 她的丈夫說：“很簡單。就是把我們的收入另外加30%”
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