英語幽默笑話英漢簡單短小
根據百度百科介紹,冷笑話一般指笑話本身因爲無聊、諧音字、翻譯、或省去主語、不同邏輯、斷語或特殊內容等問題。下面小編整理了英語幽默笑話英漢簡單短小，希望大家喜歡!
日復一日 Day After Day
A teacher was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up. He wouldcall on a student for translation and explanation, and-without realizing it-he often chose thesame student day after day. Out of respect, the student wouldn't point this out to him.
After being called on four days in a row, a student named Goldberg asked advice from hisfriends. The next day when the teacher said "Goldberg, translate and explain," Goldberg replied, "Goldberg is absent today ."
"All right," said the teacher. "You translate and explain."
一位老師對所講課文總是非常投入，從不擡頭。他常讓一個學生來翻譯和解釋，並且不自覺地，他常日復一日地叫同一個學生。出於尊敬，學生並不給他指出這一點。
一個叫古德伯格的學生，在被一連叫了四天之後，向他的朋友尋求建議。第二天，這位教師又說：“古德伯格，翻譯並解釋。”古德伯格回答說：“古德伯格今天缺席。”
“那好吧，”教師說，“那就你來翻譯並解釋。”
經典英語幽默笑話英漢簡單短小飛鴿傳書
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a jobinterview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the ving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk thatmy envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said itwould cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
郵政快遞
我丈夫讓我到郵局寄他的履歷，期望能得到工作面試的機會。他告訴我要用盡可能快的方式把它寄出去。
我感到他語氣緊急，就抓了一把零錢，衝出了家門。到了郵局，我衝到櫃檯，上氣不接下氣地向職員解釋說我的信必須馬上寄出。他漫不經心地稱了一下信的重量，說郵費是十元零三分。我翻遍了我的口袋，把所有的硬幣都算上。“可是我沒有十元零三分，”我說。他又敲了幾個鍵，然後說：“那好吧，七元四角，夫人。”
我又一次茫然地說：“對不起，我沒有七塊四。”
“那，”他嘆了口氣，“確切地說你有多少?”
我很謙和地回答道：“我有整整兩塊一角五分，先生。”
聽了這話，他轉過頭向身後的同事喊道：“嗨，查理，準備好鴿子。”
關於英語幽默笑話英漢簡單短小晚飯準備好了的信號
y cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bittoo quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both ofmy children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the yed, I stormed through the house in search of them.
I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smokealarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
"It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready."
我的燒飯手藝向來是家庭笑話的攻擊目標。一天晚上，晚餐我準備得有點兒太快了，廚房裏充滿了煙，結果煙霧探查器報起警來。儘管我的兩個孩子都在學校裏接受過防火安全訓練，可是他們並沒有對報警聲作出反應。我感到很惱火，滿幢房子亂衝尋找他們。
我在洗漱間找到他們，發現他們正在洗手。我的聲音蓋過了煙霧警報的嗡嗡聲，我叫他們辨別那聲音。
“是煙霧探查器，”他們異口同聲地說。
“你們知道那聲音意味着什麼嗎?”我責問道。
“當然，”我的大孩子回答道，“晚飯準備好了。”
英語幽默笑話英漢簡單短小品味在空中 In The Air
att and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. Oneday a fair came to the nearby town.
"Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere for a long time."
Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. Atlast he said, "All right, but I'm not going to spend much money. We'll look at things, but wewon't buy anything. "
They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt'swife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.
Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.
"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.
Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn'twant to have to pay for his wife, as well.
"I've only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilotwasn't selling many tickets, so he said, "I'll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn'tscream or shout, she can have a free flight."
Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.
The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flyingupside down.
When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn't make a sound. She can haveher ride free."
"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn't easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."
麥特和妻子住在鄉下。麥特很吝嗇，討厭花錢。一天附近的鎮子逢集。
“我們去趕集，麥特，”妻子說。“我們很久沒出去了。”
麥特想了一會兒。他知道在集市上一定得花錢。最後他說：“好吧，但我不打算花太多錢。我們只看不買。”
他們去集市，看看所有可買的東西。有很多東西麥特的妻子想買，但麥特不讓她買。
然後在附近的露天場地，他們看到一架小飛機。
“有趣的飛行。”海報上寫着，“10分鐘10美元。”
麥特從來沒有乘過飛機，所以他想乘一次小飛機。然而他不想付他妻子的票錢。
“我只帶了10美元，”他對飛機駕駛員說，“我妻子能免費和我一起乘飛機嗎?”駕駛員沒賣出多少票，所以他說：“我和你做個交易。如果你妻子不尖叫，也不叫出聲來，她就能免費飛行。”
麥特同意了，他和妻子一起登上了飛機。
飛機起飛了，駕駛員讓飛機做出各種各樣的動作。有一會兒飛機倒着飛行。
飛機着陸時，駕駛員說，“好吧，你妻子沒發出任何聲響。她就不用買飛機票了。”
“謝謝，”麥特說，“你知道，這對她不容易，特別當她剛纔掉下去的時候。”
