超級好笑的英語笑話集錦
笑話是幽默的語言表達。它是一種常見的幽默傳達方式。笑話是口頭或者書面的幽默語言。下面是本站小編帶來的超級好笑的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
直言不諱
My husband bought me an automatic dishwasher for my birthday. In filling out the guarantee，he came across the question，“What year and model dishwasher did you're place?"He wrote:"Wife—Age 24".
我丈夫在我生日那天給我買了臺全自動洗碗機。在填寫保修單葉，他看到裏面有一項是:“你替換的舊洗碗機是哪年生產的，什麼型號?”我丈夫寫道:“妻子—24歲”。
超級好笑的英語笑話篇二夢幻世界
A hotel manager in a small town reports that a guest woke up everyone in the hotel screaming，"It's in the phone book! It's in the the phone book!"
飯店經理報告說一名客人把所有的人都吵醒了，他不停地尖叫:“就在電話薄裏，就在電話薄裏。”
The manager got the house detective and they let themselves into the man's room，where they found him in the midst of a nightmare. "I was having a horrible dream，”the man explained when awakened. "I dreamed the income-tax people wanted to send me a big refund, but they'd lost my address!"
經理找來偵探後，帶他進入了那位客人的房間。原來，那位客人是在做夢。“我做了個非常可怕的夢，”那人醒後解釋說:“我夢見收稅人想寄退給我一筆錢，但他們把我的地址給丟了.”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇三.跑道已清
An airline ticket agent was being given a particularly rough time by a woman who complained about the departure times. She said，“Young man，I could stick a feather in my ear and get there faster. "
當一位飛機售票員也夠例黴的。一位婦女在向他抱怨飛機起飛得太晚，這位售票員真不知如何是好。那位婦女說:“年較人，如果我能在我的耳朵土播上羽毛，我都會比你們的飛機先到那兒。”
"Madam,"replied the agent calmly,"the runways are clear."
“好啊售票員平靜地說:“現在我們的飛機跑這正空着呢。”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇四一報還一報
An acquaintance of mine stopped at a local tavern after work and spent the evening there. When’ he arrived home around ten o'clock, his wife was sitting at the kitchen table，waiting. Instead of questioning or scolding him，however , she simply asked pleasantly if he wanted dinner. He was not interested in eating，and went off to bed.
我的一個熟人在一次下班後，把車停在了一個小飯館前，在那兒他消磨可一個晚上。大約十點鐘他纔回到家。他的妻子坐在廚房的桌旁等他。她沒有追問他什麼，也沒有責怪他，只是和藹地問他想不想吃點什麼。他已經對晚餐不感興趣，於是，就上牀睡覺了。
At 3:30 a. m.，the alarm went off. He scrambled out of bed and turned on the light. When he saw the time, he roared at his wife，demanding an explanation.
大約在凌晨三點半的時候，鬧鐘突然響了。他趕緊掀開了被子，打開了燈。當他看清了時問時，他衝妻子大聲地吼叫爲什麼。
"Well,"she replied placidly, "if it took you four-hours to get home from work，I figured it would take you four hours to get back to work，and I didn't want you to be late. "
妻子和氣地說:“我想，假如你下班回家路止花了四個小時的話，你上班當然也需要花四個小時趕路了。我只是不想讓你遲到。”
超級好笑的英語笑話篇五把他送走!
The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it，they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when found herself responsible for cleaning and feediag the creature,she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of them remarked,"He's been around here a long time_we'll miss him."
我的孩子們都想要一隻倉鼠。在他們發出了堅定的誓言—自己照顧那個動物之後，他們真的得到了一隻。他們給它取了名字叫“丹尼”。兩個月後，媽媽終於意識到實際上清洗和餵養這隻動物的事全是由她一人承當着。因此，她爲那隻倉鼠找了個新家。孩於們對“丹尼”的離開並沒做出什麼反應。只有其中的一個說了句:“他和我們在一起已有很長一段時間了—我們會想他的。”
"Yes,"Mom replied."But he's too much work for one person,and since I'm that one person,I say he goes."
“是呀，”媽媽說，“但是，由一個人來照顧他也實在是夠累的。既然我就是那個人，我說送他走.”
Another child offered,"Well,maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy,we could keep him."
另一個孩於說:“如果他吃的不那麼多，他不那麼髒亂，也許我們還能把他留下。”
But Mom was firm."It's time to take Danny to his new home now,"she insisted."Go and get his cage."
但是媽媽很堅決:“現在該給丹尼找個新家了，”媽媽一點兒也不肯讓步。“去把他的籠子拿來。”
With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted,"Danny? We thought you said Daddy!"
這時孩子們異口同聲地喊了起來:“丹尼?我們還以爲是送爹爹走呢!”
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