關於英語經典笑話大全
笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起着重要作用。下面是本站小編帶來的關於英語經典笑話，歡迎閱讀!
火雞就是不肯老實地坐着
This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on Thanksgiving. She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for herself. She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the results. When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with turkey. Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it mom. It simply wouldn't sit still!"
一位養尊處優的年輕小姐頭一回離家去上大學，到了感恩節她倍感孤單。她決定爲自己做一頓感恩節大餐。她正在向自己的母親描述自己第一次做飯的經歷，而母親也很想知道結果如何。當被問及做得好不好吃，這位小姐打了一個顫說，儘管速食湯和批薩不錯，但是烹飪火雞時卻遇到了不小的麻煩。她的母親想找到問題的根源，於是就問她：“是不是烤焦了?”這位小姐回答道：“哦，我沒法品嚐它，媽媽。火雞就是不肯老實地坐着!”
關於英語經典笑話篇二總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峯期,我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車.接近門口,一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面衝過來,沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳,仰面滑倒了.她的慣性使她接近了我的腳.我正準備扶她,她卻自己爬了起來.她鎮定了一下,對我擠了一下眉,說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎?”
關於英語經典笑話篇三鳥窩與頭髮
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
鳥窩與頭髮
我姐姐是一位小學老師。一次一個學生告訴她說一隻鳥兒在教室外樹上壘了個窩。
“是什麼鳥呢?”我姐姐問她。
“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩。”那孩子回答說。
“那麼，你能給我們描述一下這個鳥巢嗎?”我姐姐鼓勵她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭髮一樣。”
關於英語經典笑話篇四I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其餘的事由我負責
一位車上的列車員剛發出信號讓火車啓動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂裏另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其餘的事由我負責。”
關於英語經典笑話篇五Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時，驚奇地發現了六個接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
“裏面裝的是什麼?”他問道。
“土。”司機回答。
“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實，口袋裏除了土以外，別無他特。哨兵很不情願地讓他通過了。
一週後，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。
“這次袋子裏裝的是什麼?”他問道。
“土，又運了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，對那些袋子又進行了檢查，結果發現，除了土以外，仍舊一無所獲。
同樣的事情每週重演一次，一共持續了六個月。最後，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，乾脆辭職去當了酒吧侍者。有天夜裏，那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個忙，今晚的酒就歸我請客。你能不能告訴我，那段時間你到底在走私什麼東西?”
那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。”
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