2016英語幽默笑話大全
笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行爲中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。下面是本站小編帶來的英語幽默笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!
(一)
尷尬的搭訕 awkward dating
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he.
在湯姆工作的大樓裏有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因爲這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。
One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?”
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
“對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
“我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”
(二)
想象中的貓和老鼠 Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm soscared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿着一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。
“盒子裏裝的是什麼?”朋友問道。
“一隻小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這隻貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”
“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。
“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。
英語幽默笑話大全閱讀(一)
最"表裏不一"的英語成語翻譯辨誤
1. A watched pot never boils.
[誤譯] 眼睛盯着看的壺永遠不會開。
[正譯] 心急鍋不開。
2. Better safe than sorry.
[誤譯] 安全比遺憾好。
[正譯] 最好不要去冒險。
3. Good wine needs no bush.
[誤譯] 好酒不需要做廣告。
[正譯] 酒好不怕巷子深。
4. I am all ears.
[誤譯] 我渾身上下都是耳朵。
[正譯] 我在洗耳恭聽。
5. If the cap fits, wear it.
[誤譯] 如果帽子合適，就戴着吧。
[正譯] 要是言之中肯，就接受吧。
6. In for a penny, in for a pound!
[誤譯] 賭一便士是賭，賭一英鎊也是賭。
[正譯] 一不做，二不休。
7. It takes two to tango.
[誤譯] 跳探戈舞需要兩個人。
[正譯] 一個巴掌拍不響;孤掌難鳴。
8. It's all my eye!
[誤譯] 都是的我的眼睛。
[正譯] 我根本不相信;胡說八道。
(二)
現代生活 MODERN LIFE
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands'faults.
"We've been married fifteen years," one woman said, "and every night after dinner my husbandalways complains about the food."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the other.
"Does it bother you?" "Why should it bother me?" her friend replied.
"if he can't only stand his own cooking?"
兩個老朋友分別多年之後又見面了，很快就開始談起各自丈夫的缺點。
“我們結婚十五年了，”一個婦女說道，“每天晚飯後，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。”
“真可惡!”另一個驚呼道。“難道你不煩嗎?”
“我煩什麼?”她的朋友答道。“他不過是忍受不了自己的烹調技術。”
英語幽默笑話大全學習(一)
男人和女人來自不同的星球，同一句話在他們口中也有着不同的含義：1."Nothing, forget it"
1."沒什麼，算了吧!"
Female：You better figure out what you did wrong.
女人：你最好自己搞清楚到底做錯了什麼。
Male：Just quit talking about it, jesus.
男人：我勒個去，拜託就別提這事兒了。
2."Are you tired?"
2."你累嗎?"
Female：Please don't go to sleep. I love talking to you.
女人：別去睡覺，我喜歡跟你聊天。
Male：Genuinely curious as to whether or not you are sleepy.
男人：他真的只是很好奇你是不是很困。
3."I'm cold."
3."我很冷。"
Female：Get a blanket and cuddle with me.
女人：去拿條毯子來，抱着我讓我取暖。
Male：There's pretty cold. I should probably get a blanket or some shit.
男人：真的挺冷的。我得去拿條毯子或是別的啥。
4."Leave me alone."
4."別管我。"
Female：Please don't go.
女人：別走，別離開我。
Male：Get out of my fucking face.
男人：滾開，離我遠點兒!
5."I love you."
5."我愛你。"
Female：Tell me you do more.
女人：告訴我你愛我愛得更多。
Male：I love you just that I don't expect a stupid fucking response.
男人：你知道我愛你就夠了，別給我來個蠢透了的爛回答。
(二)
The Right LegProctor(exceedingly angry): "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"
Soph. (meekly):"The right leg, sir."
學監(非常生氣)：“現在你承認這可憐的新生被踢進這蛙池裏，渾身溼透?那麼你在這不光彩的事情裏扮演了什麼角色呢?”
二年級學生(恭順地)：“右腿，先生。”
