有關短篇的英語笑話精選
冷笑話是近幾年纔出現的新興語言現象，它以網絡爲主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。本站小編整理了有關短篇的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
Mr. Brown arrived for work an hour late. His clothes were torn and tattered. He was banged and bruised, and he had one arm in a sling. His boss was purple with rage.
"It's ten o'clock," screamed the boss, "you were supposed to be here at nine. What happened?"
"I'm sorry," explained Mr. Brown, "I fell out of ten-story window."
"That took you a whole hour?"
布朗先生上班整整遲到了一小時，他衣衫不整，渾身青紫，一隻胳膊上還打着繃帶。他的老闆怒火沖天。
“現在已經十點了，”老闆咆哮着，“你九點鐘就應該來的。到底發生了什麼事?”
“對不起，”布朗先生解釋道，“我從10層樓的窗戶裏摔下去了。”
“難道那也要用整整一個小時嗎?”
有關短篇的英語笑話：How His Pig's DoingTwo mayors made a bet on the outcome of the Vegetable Bowl, the annual football game between their high school teams. If Arvada's team lost, the mayor of Arvada would send the mayor of Boulder ten pounds of sliced potatoes, ready for frying. If Boulder's team lost, the mayor would send ten pounds of sliced tomatoes, ready for sandwiches or salads.
Unfortunately, before the game started, the mayor of Boulder overheard(偷聽) the Arvada mayor tell someone: "They grow the worst tomatoes. If they lose and send us their tomatoes, I'm going to give them all to my pig." The mayor of Boulder was upset to hear this, because he thought Boulder's tomatoes were the best in the state. So he gave the matter some thought.
The following week, the big game was played. Boulder lost its star quarterback in the first half when he tripped over a cheerleader and sprained his big toe. The quarterback glumly(憂鬱地) watched the rest of the game from the bench. His team ended up losing, 38 to 12. The two mayors shook hands after the game, and the Arvada mayor said, "I'm really looking forward to those tomatoes." As the Boulder team left the stadium, some unhappy fans threw ripe tomatoes at them.
A week later, the mayor of Arvada received a package of beautifully sliced tomatoes. He took them straight to his pig, which gobbled them right up. That night the mayor of Boulder asked his wife if Arvada's mayor had called. "No," she said. "Why?" "Because I mixed a pint of hot sauce into the tomatoes and I wanted to know how his pig's doing."
有關短篇的英語笑話： 心不在焉的教授The Absent-minded Professor
Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!
Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?
Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.
心不在焉的教授：天哪!有人偷了我的錢包!
妻子：你難道沒感覺到一隻手伸進你的口袋?
心不在焉的教授：感覺到了，可我還以爲那是我的手呢。
有關短篇的英語笑話：The Umbrella 雨傘A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."
一位住在旅館的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳裏，不過他在傘柄上繫了一張卡片，上面寫道，“此傘屬於一位能舉百磅的紳士。我將在十分鐘內回來。”當他回來時，發現雨傘已經不翼而飛，取而代之的是另一張卡片，上面寫着：“此卡是一位一小時能跑十英里的人留下的，我將永遠不回來了。”
有關短篇的英語笑話：Psychiatrist 精神病醫生Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink.
"Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" "Ain't nobody under there now!"
傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在牀下。我要瘋了!”
“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。
六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“爲什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”
“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把牀腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”
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