另類盤點:十大最坑爹的旅遊景點

We've all experienced tourst traps. Those heavily advertised attractions that turn out to be bland misrepresentations of the places we're supposed to be seeing.

我們都曾遭遇過旅遊陷阱：某些大作廣告的景點事實上枯燥乏味，不值一逛。

So which are the world's worst tourist traps?
那麼，世界上最坑爹的景點有哪些呢？

For starters, in no particular order, try the devil's dozen below.
對於初級“驢友”來說，以下十二個景點堪稱極品坑爹，排名不分先後。

Dunn's River Falls, Ocho Rios, Jamaica

牙買加，Dunn瀑布

This admittedly pretty series of waterfalls in a lush forest has been transformed into a death march for millions of visitors.
不得不說，位於繁茂叢林中的這一系列瀑布確實很有看頭，但如今它們已經變成了上百萬遊客的“死亡之旅”。

Visitors slog up a crowded hillside holding hands with strangers like worker ants on a particularly gruesome mission.
遊客們手拉着手，步履維艱地爬上擁擠的山坡，就像成羣結隊的工蟻要去完成一項特別討厭的任務。

Aggressive guides hustling for tips complete the tourist trap experience.
粗暴地索取小費的導遊讓你被坑的體驗更加完整。

Better to get ripped off on straw baskets in the Kingston markets.
還不如在金斯敦(牙買加首都)的市場上被賣草編籃子的敲竹槓呢。

Avenue of Stars, Hong Kong

中國香港，星光大道

Built in 2004, this one is designed with mainland Chinese tourists in mind. You'll find them here in droves, led by flag-toting tour guides as they stumble toward the promenade's highlight, a statue of Bruce Lee in kung fu pose.
建於2004年的香港星光大道面向的是中國大陸的遊客。於是你就可以看見成羣結隊的遊客，跟在舉着小旗子的導遊身後，跌跌撞撞地走向景區的中心——一尊李小龍的塑像。

A lack of comfortable resting areas and focus on souvenir photo booths makes the whole experience about as satisfying as a sneeze that doesn't quite come out.
沒有休息區，到處都是拍照攤位——這樣的旅遊體驗就像一個噴嚏打不出來一樣“令人滿意”。

美國紐約，時代廣場

A big TV, a bunch of outdoor advertising and chain stores you can find anywhere in the United States.
一臺大電視，一堆戶外廣告，外加一排在美國隨處可見的連鎖店。

Locals avoid it with almost the same assiduity as empty cabs do, meaning once you're in, there's no quick escape.
當地人都唯恐避之不及，空出租車也一樣——也就是說，你一旦進去，就甭想很快出來了。

中國上海，南京東路

It bills itself as the "best shopping street in China,"but in reality it's far from that.
號稱是“中國最好的購物街”，但事實遠非如此。

Nanjing Dong Lu, whose history can be traced back 150 years ago, was once known as the "Number One Commercial Street in China." Most guidebooks recommend tourists check it out for its history.
擁有150年曆史的南京東路曾被譽爲“中國第一商業街”，許多旅遊指南都推薦遊客們好好了解它的歷史。

But apart from a handful of old shops, any sense of history is largely gone.
但是除了寥寥幾家“百年老店”之外，這裏已經沒有什麼“歷史感”可言了。

Locals are a rare sight. Ubiquitous brands that can be found on any major shopping street in Shanghai, however, are all too common.
這裏幾乎見不着當地人，充斥其間的只有在上海各大商業街都能看到的品牌連鎖店。

英國倫敦，二戰體驗博物館

The heavily advertised Britain at War Experience draws thousands to experience wartime London. There are a few decent artifacts, but mostly what visitors get are amateur tableaus featuring department store mannequin limbs slathered with fake blood meant to represent Blitz carnage.
大作宣傳的二戰體驗博物館吸引了成千上萬的遊客來感受戰時的倫敦。這裏確實有一些像樣的藝術品，但是遊客們主要看到的還是一點也不專業的場景擺設，比如試圖用塗抹了大量假血的百貨店模特的肢體來展現1940年納粹對倫敦空襲的慘狀。

A shame so many get lured in, since authentic sites pertaining to WWII—Churchill's actual bunker and RAF Uxbridge's magnificently restored Battle of Britain Operations Room—are nearby.
問題是，真正的二戰遺蹟——丘吉爾真正呆過的掩體，還有皇家空軍Uxbridge基地完美復原的作戰指揮室——就在附近，居然還有這麼多人被吸引到所謂“二戰體驗博物館”去，真是丟臉。

泰國曼谷，Damnoen Saduak水上市場

There are at least a dozen floating markets in and around Bangkok. Yet every tourist wants to hit the same one: Damnoen Saduak.
曼谷周邊至少有一打類似的水上市場，但是所有遊客都只想去這一個：Damnoen Saduak。

It used to be a legitimate place for locals to enjoy some boat noodles or shop for produce and knickknacks. Today, thanks to every tour company in the world pushing it on tourists, it's about as authentic as that pack of Viagra for sale in a back soi on Sukhumvit Road.
這裏最初只是當地人合法地吃碗麪或者買點小飾品的地方，但現在，在各家旅行社的大肆鼓吹之下，這裏幾乎變成了像素坤逸路(泰國主要公路)背街出售的偉哥一樣的東西。

And be ready to duck. Things can get dangerous when boat drivers raise their long boat propellers out of the water to navigate through canal traffic jams.
還得做好落水的準備。當船伕們舉起長長的船槳試圖通過交通擁堵的運河時，危險隨時可能降臨。

意大利，比薩斜塔

The Leaning Tower of Pisa may have an interesting history, but as a tourist attraction, there isn't much to say about it. Apart from the fact that it actually leans.
比薩斜塔的歷史也許很有趣，但作爲一個旅遊景點，除了它確實是斜的以外，實在是沒什麼可說的。

After the initial wonderment over how such bad architecture has managed to last so long, there's nothing much left to do apart from climbing the tower. But that's not before you stand in a long line of tourists willing to part with 15 euros for the opportunity to climb 300 dizzying spiral steps within a specified time slot.
最初的對於“這樣的建築怎麼能保存如此之久”的驚歎過去之後，也就沒什麼可做的了。當然你可以登上這座塔，但要注意，你前面還有一長串游客同樣等着花15歐元在規定的時間內爬上300級令人眩暈的螺旋樓梯。

印度孟買，寶萊塢之家

The majority of apartment buildings in Mumbai are weather-beaten and look like they're about to crumble.
孟買的大部分房屋都被當地糟糕的天氣蹂躪得不成樣子，看起來似乎很快就要土崩瓦解了。

The "Bollywood homes tour for tourists" showcases the most underwhelming apartment buildings of some of the biggest movie stars on the planet, such as Shah Rukh Khan. But you'd never guess it.
所謂的“寶萊塢之家之旅”的賣點是一些毫無吸引力的公寓樓，住在裏面的是一些著名電影明星，比如沙魯克·汗——當然你永遠也猜不到這一點。

On one corner, crowds gather every evening below Salman Khan's building, where Bollywood's most popular action man makes an almost daily appearance on a pathetic little balcony in a truly ugly building.
在某處街角，人們甚至聚集在沙萊曼·罕(印度歌舞片演員)樓下，等待這位寶萊塢最出名的演員每天例行現身於這棟醜得要死的樓房的某個小得可憐的陽臺上。

澳大利亞，悉尼魚市

A visit to the Sydney Fish Market is nearly as fatal for tourists as it is for fish.
參觀悉尼魚市無論是對遊客還是對魚來說都是要命的舉動。

Heritage falls apart on the harbor's shore, iron rusts and there is no foreshore access. Two huge cement factories that dominate the view around the bay pollute the water.
港口岸邊到處是破碎的遺蹟，所有的鐵都生鏽了，也不可能到海灘上去——岸邊的兩座水泥工廠污染了整個水域。

While it sells itself as a tourist attraction, the smelly fish market has been an exercise in self-interest for decades.
悉尼魚市自稱是旅遊景點，其實不過是個以盈利爲目的的市場罷了。

印尼巴厘島，Benoa

If this is amazing snorkeling, please jam our snorkels with seaweed.
如果這就是所謂的“讓人驚歎的潛水之旅”，還不如把用海藻把水下呼吸管堵死算了。

The water is murky and short of fish and you have to dodge banana boats and jet skis.
水很髒，幾乎沒有魚，你還得躲開水上滑艇和噴氣式滑水車。

If you've got a thing for dead coral, however, please feel free to sign up for a glass bottomed boat ride.
但是如果你仍然想看看那些死珊瑚的話，你大可以去乘坐玻璃底的小船兜上一圈。