2歲喬治王子擁有技能TOP10

萌萌噠喬治王子2歲啦！2歲的娃都學會啥技能了？其實王室家族的娃和平民百姓的一毛一樣，都是愛哭愛鬧愛搗蛋的熊孩子。英國電訊報總結了喬治王子目前爲止會做的事，並寄語威廉王子和凱特王妃——家家都有熊孩子，接下來的一年……珍重！

1. Become a master of combat
1. 做個對抗高手

There is no pain like biting, hair-pulling, pinching and the following patented manoeuvres:
沒有哪一種疼痛可以和撕咬、拉扯頭髮、捏掐相較，以下專利花招一樣如此：

Donkey-kicking during nappy changes
換尿布時和小毛驢一樣拳打腳踢

The raised arms shoulder-socket release to avoid being picked up
聳起肩膀擡起胳膊不讓抱

The arched back or “planking”to avoid being strapped into the buggy/car seat.
弓起背部、“繃直”身體，不肯坐進小推車或汽車座椅、不讓系安全帶。

2. Learn to whine before you can talk
2. 會說話前，先學會咿咿呀呀
Every phone call you receive or make from now on will be drowned out by blood-curdling screams of “Dadddeee!”. George will delight in this. For Kate, this could mean frantic scrabbling for the phone while she tries to converse with housekeepers at an audible volume while trying to hold her handset as high up in the air as possible, still attached to her ear.
從今往後，無論你是打電話還是接電話，你的聲音都會被“爸，爸爸！”的驚聲尖叫淹沒，聽着瘮人。喬治也會熱衷於此。對於凱特王妃而言，這意味小喬治會瘋狂抓電話，她想和管家以正常音量通電話時不得不盡量舉高聽筒，同時聽筒還得不離耳朵。

3. Bath and nappy cream are a food group
3. 浴缸和尿布霜都是可以吃的！
Bathtime is little more than an all-you-can-eat buffet; the bath water, the face flannel and the rubber duck are all irresistible delicacies. And nappy cream is like caviar for toddlers, best served straight from the bottom. In fact, the only thing your toddler will consistently refuse to put in their mouth will be… a toothbrush.
洗澡的時光和一切皆可食的自助餐相差無幾。洗澡水，法蘭絨洗臉巾和橡皮小鴨都是抵擋不住的美味誘惑。尿布霜對蹣跚學步的小孩子就有如魚子醬。事實上，你的小孩唯一會持續抗拒送到嘴裏的只有牙刷。

4. No clothes are always better than any clothes
4. 不穿衣服總好過穿衣服
George may have been styled in his adorable vintage tank tops, shorts and knee high socks, but what he really wants to wear is…nothing. Every child in the country now thinks it’s their right to take off their shorts and swing them around their head.
喬治王子也許已經梳妝打扮完畢，穿好復古坎肩、短褲和及膝高的襪子，但他其實最想什麼都不穿。於是乎，每個小孩都覺得他們有權脫掉西褲，在頭頂掄轉褲子。

5. Pictures are to be taken on your terms
5. 會輪到你拍照的
You may have Mario Testino as your chosen official photographer, but George will no doubt display all the modelling prowess of any modern day toddler: devoting less than a second of his time to posing for photos, followed by ten minutes of indignantly screaming to see the as-yet-untaken 'PICS!’ while attempting to wrestle the phone/camera from you.
或許你選好了馬里奧·特斯蒂諾做你的官方攝影師，但小喬治無疑會和現代人任何一個蹣跚學步的孩子一樣，表現拗模特造型的技藝：即只花不到一秒鐘時間擺造型，剩下的十分鐘怒氣衝衝驚聲尖叫着要看還沒拍好的“照片”，一邊又試圖從你手中搶過電話或者相機。

6. Repetition, repetition, repetition
6. 重複，一再重複
There is nothing a toddler likes more than repetition. And obviously, if you ever decide to tune it out, just for a minute of your own sanity，that will be the moment he’s actually trying to tell you Lupo’s weed on the rug.
搖搖晃晃學步的小孩再喜歡重複話語不過了。你要是想無視，哪怕只是一分鐘清靜清靜，也許就是那一刻他想告訴你盧波（凱特的愛犬）剛剛在地毯上尿尿了。

7. Dawdling is the new doing
7. 磨磨蹭蹭纔是正緊事兒
Over the next 12 months Kate will be getting nowhere, fast. Everything warrants a closer inspection: every stone, every plane in the sky, every discarded packet of cigarettes. And he will need to stop every few steps to exclaim or point or just sit for no particular reason.
接下來的12個月，凱特也許去哪兒都快不起來。小喬治什麼都得細查個遍：每塊石頭、每架飛過天空的飛機和每一包扔掉的香菸。而且，他會每走幾步路就大呼小叫、東點西指，或者不明就裏席地而坐。

8. It’s fun to embarrass mum
8. 媽媽大囧纔有意思
Kate will be spending a huge portion of most social encounters saying 'be GEN-tle’. And it might be time for a style rethink on those signature ladylike skirts, unless Kate doesn’t mind having her knickers exposed by a two-year-old playing tent while she’s watching the Trooping of the Colour.
凱特社交場合得花大量時間說“禮貌點兒”。是時候重新考慮下標誌性女性裙裝風格了，除非凱特王妃不介意兩歲的娃把裙子當帳篷玩，在她觀禮閱兵的時候底褲露出來。

9. Mess is as good as rest
9. 天下大亂方能風平浪靜
The royal family have always been keen hunters, and now George is set to continue that tradition with his own 'Mummy traps’: toy cars and puddles of sun cream will all find their way beneath the LK Bennett wedges soon enough.
皇室家族似乎一直就熱衷搜尋，現在小喬治開始繼續他的“媽咪陷阱”傳統：很快LK Bennett牌坡跟鞋下就能找到一輛輛玩具車和一灘灘防曬霜。

10. If you have it, hide it
10. 有了！就藏起來！
Even if your home is immaculate things will still go missing, thanks to every two year old’s love of Hiding Vital Things In Weird Places. Missing Keys? Try the throne room. You get the idea.
哪怕你家再一塵不染，東西終究會不見蹤影，誰叫每個兩歲的小孩就愛“重要東西往詭異的地方藏”呢。鑰匙不見了？到王宮大殿裏找找看吧。