如何成爲一個好室友？如何對付糟糕室友？

Roommate horror stories are pretty popular topics of conversation at college. Everybody’s got them. Follow a few simple guidelines to ensure you're not the awful roommate everyone's talking about—and learn to deal with your terrible roommate.

大學生之間聊天時常常談及室友那些惹人厭的事蹟，每個人都可以講出一些。如果你想確保自己不是每個人口中的煩人室友，或者想學習和糟糕室友的相處之道，有幾條簡單準則你可照辦。

I know bad roommates. Last year my noisy, inconsiderate roommate constantly woke me up around three in the morning. Her side of the room was always messy and covered with clothes. Her suitcase from Christmas break didn’t move from the middle of the room all second semester. She used my makeup. She ate my food. One night, her boy toy stole my pillow off my bed. While I was sleeping on it. And she brought a kitten to live in our room (which, just by the way, is totally against dorm policies). Y’all, I don’t like cats. Not even kittens. But who did the kitty like best? Me. Whose bed did it sleep on? Mine. Who did it wake up every morning to be fed? Me.

我有一個煩人的室友。去年，我室友常常製造噪音，不顧及我的感受，常在凌晨三點把我吵醒。房間裏她那一側通常是亂哄哄的，衣服到處都是。聖誕節假期返校後帶來的行李箱一直放在房間中央——整個第二學期就沒挪過地。她用我化妝品，吃我東西。一天夜裏，她的小白臉從正在熟睡的我的腦袋下偷走了我的枕頭。此外，她在我們寢室安頓了一隻小貓咪（提一句，這完全違背了寢室制度)。好吧，我不喜歡貓，可愛的小貓咪也無感。但小貓咪最喜歡的是誰呢？我。它睡誰牀上呢？我的。每天早上它醒過來給她餵食的是誰？我。

Oh, and it gave our room fleas. FLEAS.

哦，跳蚤也跟它一起住進了我們寢室。

While my rooming situation left much to be desired, I know that I probably wasn’t the perfect roommate either. However, my roommate and I were still able to get along together fairly well (all things considered) and managed to end the year on good terms. There are a few basic things you can do to help start off a successful roommate relationship and some tactics to help alleviate even the worst of rooming circumstances.

我寢室的狀況差強人意，我知道我作爲室友可能也不完美。但是，我們兩人仍然能夠相處得非常好（如果所有事情都考慮在內的話），我們在和諧的氛圍中走過了去年。做到這幾件基本的事情，將有助於建立成功的室友關係；寢室局勢惡劣至極時，有幾樣技巧將起到緩和之作用。

Respect Each Other

相互尊重

First and foremost, you need to respect your roommate. I know, sometimes, it’s really hard. But when you’re living in tight quarters with the same person (or people), if you don’t respect them first, they sure as hell won’t respect you. Your parents have hopefully been teaching you what respecting others mean since you were about four. The same rules apply in college as they did in preschool.

首先和首要的，你要尊重你的室友。我知道有時真的很難。只是你和同一個人（或同一羣人）生活在侷促的方寸之間，如果你不展現你的尊重，你也必然得不到他們的尊重。想必你的父母從你四歲就開始教給你怎樣纔算尊重別人了吧。學前班的規則同樣適用於大學。

Be Considerate – If your roommate is sleeping or attempting to sleep, keep the noise and light levels down. If your roommate is studying, don’t have loud conversations in the same room. It really should be common sense, but it is truly amazing how people don’t understand what it means to be considerate. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would be annoyed if your roommate did whatever it is you would like to do to you. If the answer is no, take it elsewhere.

顧及別人。如果你室友已經睡着或正試圖入睡，調低你的音量和光亮。如果你室友正在學習，不要在他學習的房間內大聲交談。這真的只是常識，可人們卻不懂得怎樣去顧及別人，確實令人吃驚。如果對此有疑問，問問自己，如果正在做你想做的事的人是你室友,你會否感到被攪擾。如果答案是不想被打擾，那就另尋他處吧。

Keep It Clean – Seriously, I cannot emphasize how many horror stories I have heard about dirty roommates. Hair in the shower, toothpaste gelled to the sink, bathrooms littered with magazines or dirty clothes. It’s gross. Respect means keeping your side of the room clean. Now, I’ll admit, I’m a rather messy person. I don’t like picking up my clothes, the concept of drawers, or making my bed. But at least once a week, I pick all of my stuff up off the ground and make my side of the room clean again. It’s a good habit to get into and it will make you a better roommate. And hopefully, if your roommate sees you keeping your side clean, they’ll be more inclined to keep theirs clean.

保持衛生。我不再強調我聽過了多少惱人經歷是和關於髒兮兮的室友相關的。淋浴留下的頭髮，洗手池上粘的牙膏，浴室裏雜誌或髒衣服亂扔。噁心。尊重的意思就是房間你那一側保持乾淨。我承認，我不愛整潔。我不喜歡撿拾衣服，收拾抽屜，整理牀鋪。但是一週我至少有一次，把我的東西從地上撿起來，把房間裏我那一側打掃乾淨。會讓你成爲一個更好的室友。還有，你室友看到你那一側衛生保持得很乾淨，他們也有望保持他們那一側的乾淨。

Keep Your Hands Off Their Stuff – Respecting your roommate means respecting their stuff. I already told you my former roommate used my makeup, usually without asking. Just don’t do it, especially with personal items like brushes and stuff like that. It’s gross. If you really need to borrow something of theirs, always, always ask before you do. If they say no, don’t get offended. Some people just don’t like other people using their stuff. This goes especially for food. It’s super annoying to open the fridge and see that your lunch that you planned to eat is now gone. If you eat your roommate's food, it is absolutely your responsibility to replace it.

不要碰室友的東西。尊重室友意味着尊重他們的物品。我前邊說過，前任室友常問都不問就用我的化妝品。不要這麼做，特別是像刷子這種私人物品。亂動私人物品很噁心。如果確實需要借用，務必用之前提出請求。如果他們不借，那就別得罪他們了。一些人就是不喜歡別人用自己的東西。特別是食物。打開冰箱，發現自己打算吃的午餐不翼而飛真的超級冒火。假如你吃了室友的食物，換一份新的絕對是你的義務。Set Ground Rules

建立基本規則

Now that we’ve reviewed what it means to respect each other, you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. It may sound a little Type-A personality, but it’s really just better to set up what each of your pet peeves are before the year gets rolling. For instance, I really don’t like it when people have phone conversations in the room while I’m studying. I don’t multitask very well, and I’d rather be writing my paper on Roman gladiators than listening to you tell your best friend about your raging weekend. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go:

我們評論了相互尊重意味着什麼，你和室友可能也建立了某些基本規則。這可能聽起來有點A型人格，但是在過起日子前確實弄清你們的小癖好是什麼。比如，我不喜歡別人在我學習時講電話。我不擅長處理多進程任務，我寧願寫一篇羅馬格鬥士的論文而不是聽你向你最好的朋友講述你的憤怒週末。這有一個清單，說明你和室友建立基本規則時所應設計的事情。

Talking on the phone – inside the room, outside the room, on the balcony, in the closet, whatever. Make a compromise, but the tie should go to the person studying.

講電話——室內，室外，陽臺，衣櫃，哪裏都行。學會妥協，但是限制應有學習的人決定。

Smoking – This. Is. So. Important. If you have a balcony, establish if it’s okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommate’s chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I don’t think smoking is allowed in any dorm room, but make sure to set your expectations early.

吸菸——這很重要。如果你有陽臺，確定是否可以在陽臺上吸菸。注意，如果你同意陽臺可以吸菸，那麼可能最終你朋友的一串煙友都有可能在你陽臺上安營紮寨。我認爲任何一間寢室都不應准許吸菸，但是確保及早設立預期。

Visitors of the intimate kind – This seriously could warrant its own post. If you have someone of special interest with you, you need to remember that the room belongs to two people. Set up a sexile system. Rubber bands on the door work, but everyone in the world knows what that means. Try a post-it note or piece of tape on the door, drawing a shape on the nametags on your door, or some other symbol that will clue in your roommate that they probably do not want to walk into the room. Include a time limit! Really, it shouldn’t be longer than an hour. If you need more time, well, you know, I can’t help you. Compromise with your roommate. If you are the sexilee, be patient. College is an exciting, hormonal time and your roommate will sometimes (or very often) put his/her libido ahead of your convenience. Find comfort in the fact that they’ll have to offer you the same consideration when you get your chance of love. Additionally, check with your roommate if they’re comfortable with your lover spending the night if this proves to be the case. If they’re not, respect their wishes.

親密愛人之類的訪客——嚴肅點，這個問題理應有一席之地。如果有人對你愛慾迸發，記住房間屬於兩個人。建立性愛通知制度。在門上綁上個橡膠帶會起作用，但地球人都知道意思是什麼。試試便利貼或膠帶，在門上名籤畫個身體，或者其他什麼標誌，只要能給你室友暗示，不希望他們進入房間。還要考慮時間限制，不應超過一個小時。如果需要更長時間，好吧，那我幫不了你了。和室友妥協。如果別人做愛你待在外，耐心點。大學生活很精彩，荷爾蒙洶涌，比起你的方便，室友有時（或常常）更多考慮他的力比多。令你安慰的是，當你也有了愛愛的機會，他們會給予你同樣的體諒。此外，和室友確認下，如果你愛人在寢室過夜，他們是否感到不適。如果是的，尊重他們的感受。

Cleaning – Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash, tidying the room, buying toilet paper, and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

打掃衛生——商議打掃衛生的職責，明確各自負責的工作。劃分清潔責任會保持房間更整潔，如果雙放都參與進來，緊張關係也會得到緩和。拿走垃圾，打掃房間，購買廁紙，清洗洗手池，都是需要考慮的一些事情。

When All Else Fails…

如果所有都不奏效……

Sometimes, no matter how much you do, your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting, cleaning, and ground rules don’t get you where you want in your rooming situation, all is not lost, even if it seems like it. There’s still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.

有時，不管你做了多少，室友仍然讓你抓狂。當尊重，整潔和基本規則都無法讓你得到你想要的寢室狀況，所有的都不管用，即便看起來如此，仍有一些破壞控制措施你可以採用。

Deal with it – There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part, the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control, remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson: “You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.”

忍着—和別人同住，總有些事情要適應。有時，接受，忍着。大多數情況下，煩擾你的都是你可以忍受一年的微小事情。如果你控制不了煩躁，記住Robert Anton Wilson的這句話：你所愛之物有多大，你就有多大；你所煩之事有多小，你就有多小。

Talk to your roommate – Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe she keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is, don’t yell and don’t accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean, the situation will get out of control, nothing will get solved, and you’ll both be angry. Also, if you’re going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them, you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

和室友談談。雙方坐下來，針對現狀中激怒你的關鍵所在交流一下。可能他打呼嚕，可能她在你做作業的時候看電視。不管是什麼，不要大吵，不要指責。鎮定點，友好簡潔地闡述你的現狀。從大處着眼。如果你一開始吃毛求疵，小裏小氣，局面將會失控，什麼也解決不了，兩人都感到憤怒。此外，如果你打算和你室友談談他的問題，你要能夠應對他提出的有關於你的問題。要具有彈性，願意妥協。

Talk to your RA – Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommate’s head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However, if you’ve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate, you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable, there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

告訴導員。在和室友溝通之前，不要走這一步。越過室友是不體諒的行爲。你現在長大了。你可以獨力解決你的問題。如果你和室友溝通之後，兩人之間的分歧依然確實很大，這時你需要引入外部第三方了。如果局面不可調和，通常過程如下：你換到另外一間寢室擁有新的室友。

Get out of your room – This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating, just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friend’s room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways, and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.

走出房間——或許這是所有方案中最簡單的一招了。要是你室友正在你房間中做什麼讓你生氣的事情，那就離開房間吧。需要學習，就去圖書館或計算機房吧。只是需要找個地方躲避，就去朋友房間吧。離開房間不管如何都是對你好的，並且有些時候遠離室友將有助於避免緊張升級。