雙語閱讀：用選狗方式擇偶兩者有很多相似之處

摘要：你是不是一直選錯男人卻擁有着一隻最完美的寵物?那麼這個戀愛建議可能就是爲你準備的。

Do you always go for the wrong men, but have the most perfect pet? Then this relationshipadvice may be for you。

A leading love expert has suggested there are parallels between picking the perfect partner andthe way you choose your dog。

你是不是一直選錯男人卻擁有着一隻最完美的寵物?那麼這個戀愛建議可能就是爲你準備的。

一個前沿愛情專家表示，選擇一個完美伴侶的方式和你選狗方式有很多相似之處。

Author and relationship coach Dr Annie Kaszina Ph.D - who is the first to admit she has herown chequered relationship history - discovered that by applying these principles she couldfinally make the right choices。

作家兼戀愛教練安妮·卡斯楠博士是第一個承認自己有過糟糕愛情史的相關專家。她發現通過運用這些原則，她終於可以做出正確的選擇了。

When Annie met Orlandino it was love at first sight: the big brown eyes, the irresistible looks,the knack he had of making her laugh。

安妮與奧蘭蒂諾相遇的時候可謂是一見鍾情：大大的棕色眼睛，魅力十足的長相，有讓她呵呵大笑的本領。

用選狗方式擇偶 兩者有很多相似之處

But sadly, he wasn't a keeper. Beneath that charming exterior lay some unsavoury habits anda difficult and a very demanding personality. Orlandino was the dog from hell。

但遺憾的是，他不值得她與之廝守。在他那迷人的外表下隱藏着一些令人討厭的習慣和令人難以相處，很強勢的性格。奧蘭蒂諾就像一隻地獄犬。

What Annie learned from that encounter set her on the path to becoming a women'srelationship coach。

安妮在那次戀愛經歷中吸取的教訓讓她走上了成爲一名女性戀愛專家的道路。

She learned her lesson, chose her second dog - and her current lovely partner - with a lotmore care, and has since taught hundreds of women simple ways to spot the right man forthem, using her pet as the template。

她吸取了教訓，更加謹慎小心地給自己挑了第二隻狗，也就是她現在的情人。從此以後她把自己的寵物作爲範例，教給了幾百位女性簡單找到她們另一半的方法。

Now Annie shares ten of her tips with Femail readers, inspired by her new book, entitled DoYou Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?, which comes out on Valentine'sDay。

現在安妮把她在新書《你在選狗時比你在選丈夫時更仔細嗎?》中所體會的10個小竅門分享給Femail欄目讀者。這本書將在情人節發行。

1. Temperament is king

性格是最重要的

Mean, moody, and magnificent may sound exciting… So, too, may the idea of taking on achallenge, or 'taming' someone 'wild'。

吝嗇，情緒化，氣宇軒昂等性格特徵可能聽起來讓人很興奮。讓人想要接受挑戰，馴服“野獸”。

Unfortunately, they lead to hard work relationships; and hard work relationships lead toemotional exhaustion and breakdown。

不幸的是，這會導致艱難的戀愛關係;艱難的戀愛關係會導致情感衰竭以及精神崩潰。

Better to look for someone sunny and sweet-natured。

最好是找個陽光的，脾氣好的。

Think about the way a date projects himself on first meeting and beyond. Why wouldpessimism or negativity be an aphrodisiac?

想想看約會對象在第一次見面和之後的日子裏舉手投足的方式。一個悲觀消極，充滿負能量的人怎麼會催發你的情慾呢?

2. Check the pedigree

查一查家庭背景

Obviously, this is simpler with dogs than it is with people, and can't be settled on a first then Rome wasn't built in a day, and nor should relationships be。

通常而言，挑人不像挑狗那麼簡單，可以第一次見面就下決定。但是羅馬不是一天建成的，戀愛關係也不是。

You can listen to the way they talk about parents, family members, and friends。

你可以聽聽他們討論父母，家庭成員，和朋友的方式。

If they come across as Billy-no-mates, there is cause for concern。

如果他們恰巧沒什麼朋友，那你就要引起注意了。

3. Beware yappiness

讓自己開心

Unless you're okay with saddling yourself with Mr I'm Great, Mr Alpha Male, Mr In Love With TheSound of His Own Voice, or Mr Life and Soul of the Party, be careful of over-talkers。

除非你願意和自大，大男子主義，自吹自戀，派對霸王這樣的男人在一起，不然就要當心那些自吹自擂的人了。

Incessant talking on a first date may be a sign of nerves, but also a lack of interest in the otherperson and a lack of social skills。

第一次約會就很話嘮可能是緊張的表現，但也是對對方缺乏興趣和交際能力差的表現。

They need to take an interest in you too (This holds just as true for Strong, Silent Types)。

他們也要對你感興趣(這同樣對悶騷型的男人也適用。)

Asking non-intrusive questions is not rocket science。

問一些不具有侵犯性的問題不是個複雜的事情。

4. Good manners

有禮貌

This goes without saying. But it's not limited to table manners。

這是不言而喻的。但也不止於餐桌禮儀。

Snarliness towards waiters, children, and anyone outside the charmed circle of you and yourdate is a bad sign of things to come。

對服務員，孩子和任何其他在你倆二人世界之外的人糾纏不清是個不好的現象。

Selective good manners actually suggest that those manners are not deeply ingrained and maysoon melt away。

過於講究好禮貌事實上表明瞭這些禮貌並不是根深蒂固的，可能很快就沒有了。

5. Over-exuberance

精力過度旺盛

Pushy does not mean keen. It means pushy。

強勢並不意味着他特別喜歡你，強勢就是強勢。

First date pushiness is the sign of someone who doesn't respect boundaries and will end uppushing you into emotional corners。

第一次約會就表現的咄咄逼人意味着他並不尊重彼此的界限，結果會把你推向情感的死角。

6. Good behavior

舉止得體

Many a woman who has overlooked a little first date leering - at other women - has lived to ruethe day。

很多女人忽視了第一次約會對其他女性拋媚眼的重要性，之後都悔不當初。

You have standards for how you would dress and behave on a first date. Your date should,too。

你有第一次約會自己穿衣和舉止得體的標準。你的約會對象也應該有這樣的標準。

If your date's behaviour violates your standards in any way that's a clear sign that you could bein for a rough ride。

如果你的約會對象的舉止違反了你的標準，不論怎樣那就很明顯意味着你之後的約會會舉步維艱。

7. Docility

溫順

You want your date to be sensitive and responsive to your wishes。

你想讓你的約會變得和你所想的一樣心思細密，符合你的心願。

Choosing your meal for you, unasked, or making decisions for you without consulting you is aclear sign of wanting to be top dog。

沒有問你，就爲你選好了食物;沒有問你，就爲你做好了決定，這些都很明顯表現出他想主導這個約會。

Do you want to be reduced to playing Bottom Dog?

你想被逼到只能當敗犬嗎?

8. Playfulness

活潑快樂

You want someone not just to have fun with, but someone who's fun to be around。

你想要的不僅僅是一個能夠一起愉快的玩耍的人，更應該是一個能讓你在他身邊感到快樂的人。

That doesn't necessarily mean someone who acts like a kid - what long-term kids are actuallylooking for is second mummies. You want someone who you feel comfortable enough around tobe silly with。

這並不一定意味着某人表現的很像個孩子，那些長不大的“孩子”想要的是第二個媽媽。你想要一個讓你感覺很舒服的人，和他在一起又感覺傻乎乎的。

9. Beware rogue breeders

小心流氓的飼養員

If you've been single for a while, friends may take it upon themselves to set you up with 'lovelydates'。

如果你長時間單身，你的朋友們就會擔負起幫你製造約會的的責任。

Just because they find that date 'lovely' in the context in which they know them doesn't meanyou will。

他們從他們自身來觀察，覺得這場約會將會十分美好，但這並不意味着你也會感同身受。

You wouldn't buy a house just on the say-so of Mrs Bloggs three doors down。

你不會因爲某人的三言兩語就去買個房子。

You always have to do your own due diligence。

你必須要做好你自己應做的準備。

10. Leave the paperwork at home

把紙上談兵拋之腦後

Women are terrible at playing 'Fantasy Future' - they go on a first date and, provided the manisn't an obvious freak or psychopathic monster, they get busy imagining their future life withthat person。

女人幻想未來的能力很差。她們在第一次約會就幻想着她們和那個人的未來生活，假設這個男人不是個怪胎或心理變態。

A first date is not designed to be a marriage contract. It's simply the start of getting to knowanother person。

第一次約會並以一定會通向一場婚禮。而只是瞭解一個人的開始。

If you find yourself fantasising about that happy future, take a cold shower, or speak to agrounded friend。

如果你發現自己在幻想美好的未來，那就去洗個冷水澡，或者找個講道理的好朋友談談。