研究發現 幽默能讓婚姻長期'保鮮'大綱

It turns out that a long, happy marriage resembles a slow-moving rom-com, one that plays out over decades.

事實證明，長久而美滿的婚姻就像一部延續幾十年的漫長浪漫喜劇。

The first few years of a marriage are rife with conflicts, but the emotional weather eventually changes, according to a new study by psychology researchers at UC Berkeley.

美國加州大學伯克利分校的心理學研究人員的一項新研究顯示，婚姻的頭幾年會衝突不斷，但情感狀況最終會變化。

In time, humor -- friendly teasing, jokes, and silliness -- becomes more prevalent, and bickering and criticisms decline.

隨着時間的推移，幽默--調侃、玩笑和裝傻--變得更爲常見，爭吵和批評漸少。

These findings, which must be among the sweetest to enter the crowded field of relationships research, were reached after psychologists analyzed videotaped interactions of 87 couples who had been married 15 to 35 years, and followed them over 13 years.

這項研究結果是心理學家分析了87對15年至35年婚齡夫婦的互動視頻，並對他們進行了長達13年的跟蹤調查後得出的，而且這一定是衆多的人際關係研究領域裏最甜蜜的部分。

The study's conclusions contradict an existing theory that positive emotions fade over time in a long relationship, point out the co-lead authors, Robert Levenson, a UC Berkeley psychology professor, and Alice Verstaen, a postdoctoral fellow at the VA Puget Sound health center.

該論文的聯合作者、加州大學伯克利分校的心理學教授羅伯特·利文森和退伍軍人管理局皮吉特灣健康中心的博士後埃利斯·弗斯滕指出，這項研究得出的結論與現有理論相悖--該理論的觀點是，積極的情緒在一段長久關係中會隨着時間的推移漸漸消退。

However, they align nicely with other recent longitudinal studies that show a U-shaped pattern of happiness in lengthy marriages. The questions of how unions change, and what triggers different twists and turns, are not settled.

不過，這個結論與近期其他縱向研究結果吻合，這些縱向研究顯示，在漫長的婚姻中，人們的幸福感呈U形分佈。但是這個U形會如何變化，以及是什麼引發了它的曲折，這些問題還沒有解決。

Importantly, jokes and gentle humor were not the only heroic behaviors that showed up in greater abundance in the marriages they followed.

重要的是，在他們跟蹤研究的婚姻中，那些豐富了整個生活的英勇行爲遠遠不止開玩笑和幽默。

All the positive ways we can behave toward someone became more evident as the years passed, but primarily humor, enthusiasm, and validation (actively listening to and understanding your partner). Criticisms dropped off, as did the truly toxic, divorce-courting habits like stonewalling. Men demonstrated less anger, and women less contempt.

時光流轉，人們表現出來的一切積極方式都變得更加明顯，但主要是幽默、熱情和肯定（積極傾聽和理解伴侶）。批評聲消失了，容易引起離婚的不好的習慣（比如拖延）也少了。男方的憤怒少了，女方的蔑視少了。

One outcome of the study was more in keeping with grimmer perceptions of marriages: Older couples were not more affectionate with each other.

這項研究的其中一個結果更符合人們對婚姻的悲觀看法：老夫老妻對彼此的好感毫無增進。

They either exchanged about the same number of caring statements and compliments through the years, or, wives offered fewer of them. But there was a silver lining here, too: Those trajectories, the researchers write "offer support for the idea of love evolving as adults age."

他們要麼多年來彼此表示關愛和讚美的次數不變，要麼逐漸減少。但這也給人一線希望：研究人員寫道，這些軌跡“佐證了愛會隨着成年人年齡增長而演變的觀點”。

Psychological studies -- and, I'm guessing, anecdotal evidence from the long-married couples you know -- have proposed that couples start off with a sense of passionate love that morphs into "companionate love" in time. Humor, they say, is arguably an expression of the second kind of devotion.

心理學研究--以及來自老夫老妻的坊間證據--表明，伴侶們一開始熾熱如火的愛會隨着時間的推移，轉變成“互爲陪伴的愛”。他們指出，幽默可以說是第二種感情的一個表現。

It's worth keeping in mind that the study had several limitations, including a relatively small sample size, and a limited representation of marriage. It did not include same-sex marriages, for instance, or couples going to marriage counseling. It also only dealt in averages.

值得注意的是，這項研究有若干侷限性，包括樣本數量相對較小、婚姻的代表性有限。例如，它沒有包含同性婚姻，也沒有包含那些接受婚姻諮詢的夫婦。它只涉及一般婚姻。

And of course companionable humor is no guarantee of a relationship's longevity. Anecdotally, it's easy to point to couples that survived a decades without a hint of shared laughter or goofiness, or ones that ended despite a healthy quotient of humor and compassionate behavior.

而且，毋庸置疑，幽默並不能保證一段感情的長久。坊間流傳的故事很容易證明，有些夫妻從不嬉笑搞怪也在一起生活了幾十年，有些婚姻雖然不乏幽默和相親相愛卻仍無疾而終。