你後悔結婚嗎?爲什麼?範例
Do you regret your marriage, and why?
Yes, my first marriage was a disaster. It was actually an arranged marriage and I had no clues as to what kind of a person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. When his lies, selfishness, lack of love and greediness surfaced, it had become difficult for me to stay under one roof. We separated soon after.
後悔。我的第一次婚姻就是一場災難，其實是父母安排的，我也不清楚自己的餘生要和什麼樣的人一起度過。當他的謊言、自私、缺乏愛和貪婪顯露無疑的時候，我就很難和他共處一室了。我們後來很快就離婚了。Later on I realized my mistake and I would like to share it with you.
後來我意識到了自己的錯誤，我願意分享給你。
Oftentimes people get into a relationship before taking the time to figure out who they are and what they need. They may spend more time researching their perfect car, which they will have for a short time, than they will researching their needs, wants and goals for their perfect relationship, which they expect to have for a lifetime. Therefore, step 1 is about self-discovery. If you are in a relationship just because it’s expected of you, it might backfire on you soon.
人們經常還沒弄清楚自己是誰、自己想要什麼就開始戀愛。他們可能會花更多時間研究最適合他們的車，而車只會用很短一段時間，卻不會花那麼多時間研究自己完美戀愛中的需求、渴望和目標，而戀愛卻是他們想要持續一輩子的。因此，第一步就是自我發現。如果你只是遵從別人的期待談戀愛的話，你很快就會自食其果。I am in the middle of a divorce after 27 years, which I thought was going to be forever. I didn’t want the divorce, initially. However, now that we have been separated over a year, I didn’t know how much I had changed. I am now somewhat glad we are divorcing. I wish we could have both changed and worked it out, but too much water under the bridge. I have changed significantly, being happier and more comfortable with the new me.
27年的婚姻生活之後我正在離婚，本來我以爲這段婚姻會天長地久。最初我不想離婚，然而既然我們已經分開一年多了，我不知道自己變了多少，我現在還有點開心能離婚。我希望我們過去能做出更多改變並解決這件事，但已覆水難收。我已經改變了很多，現在的自己更幸福，過得更舒服。One of the toughest problems in long term marriage is that as time goes on you lose a sense of self, as you melt together as a couple. This loss of self is a big problem. Some look outside of the marriage for activities or even relationships not because they don’t love their spouse, but because they feel truly lost.
長期的婚姻生活中最難處理的問題之一就是隨着時間流逝你會失去自我，因爲作爲夫妻你們要磨合。失去自我是個大問題，有些人尋求婚外之樂，甚至有人會有婚外情，並不是因爲他們不愛自己的伴侶了，而是他們真的感覺自己失去太多了。I think a truth about marriage: In the beginning of a marriage or relationship you argue and disagree because you are different and don’t know each other. In the end, you argue and disagree because you know everything about your significant other.
我明白了婚姻的真諦：婚姻或戀愛初期你們爭吵或產生分歧是因爲你們之間的不同，你們不瞭解彼此。後來你們爭吵或產生分歧是因爲太過了解對你很重要的那個人。No. This September will be 25 years of marriage for us (I was 23 and my wife was 24 when we married). We have four children. I never regret my decision to marry, in fact, I'm very thankful for her presence in my life. This being stated I do not want anyone to believe that I am representing that I have a "perfect" marriage.
不後悔。今年九月是我們結婚25週年（結婚時我23歲，我妻子24歲），我們有4個孩子，我從未後悔結婚的決定，其實我還很感激她能走進我的生活，說這些我並不是想讓大家覺着我有“完美”婚姻。There have been great times and challenging times in my marriage. In the end though, I have grown significantly as a human being because of the experiences I have had in my marriage. My view of marriage and what it means to me is based on learnings that I have come to realize over the years:
我的婚姻有苦也有甜，然而最終婚姻的經歷讓我這個人明顯地成長了。我對婚姻的觀點和婚姻對我的意義都是基於我這些年的感悟：-My goal in my marriage is to share my love with my wife. To me, if I am not filled with love, joy, forgiveness, service or any other virtue, I will be unable to share it with my wife.
—我結婚的目標是要和妻子分享愛。對我而言，如果我心裏沒有充滿愛、快樂、原諒、服務或任何其他美德的話，我就不能跟妻子共同分享。-I've leaned to listen with attention to my wife (and others) because of my wife. I will forever be thankful to her for this skill. It has made me better in ALL my relationships, personal and professional.
—因爲妻子我學會了全神貫注地傾聽妻子（或別人）說話，我永遠要爲這個能力感激我的妻子，這使我更好地處理各種人際關係，無論是私人關係還是工作關係。-I've learned and continue to learn to accept others as they are. To make choices about the people with whom I wish to invest my time and the activities in which I choose to participate.
—我學會了並將繼續學習接受別人本來的樣子，以便能選擇好我想花時間相處的人和我決定要參與的事。-I've learned that there is no "soul mate". If there is a soul mate it is to be found within ourselves.
—我知道了沒有“靈魂伴侶”，如果有也是在我們內心裏。-I've learned patience, forgiveness, acceptance, and much more because my wife and I are different. Because we have disagreements, arguments etc. . . Every time we have differences I make a choice to focus on what it is I can learn from the exchange.
—我學會了耐心、原諒、接受，更多的是因爲妻子和我有很多不同，因爲我們有分歧、有爭論，每次我們產生分歧時我都決定要關注我能從這種思想交換中學到什麼。Finally, I want to make one additional point about marriage and in many ways life. Today it appears we live in a throw away, instant gratification society. We look for the fast and easy solution and cut our losses when things don't go our way. Marriage is not easy and it is not for the feint of heart. It takes an enormous commitment. Things will go wrong. Your expectations will not be met. You will suffer from time to time. This is life, this is marriage. How we respond is what matters. I think marriage is so great because in reality it is the most difficult thing in the world and it reveals everything about our character as humans.
最後，我想再補充關於婚姻和生活很多方面的一點。今天我們好像生活在一個很隨意的、及時行樂的社會，生活不盡如人意時我們尋求快速便捷的解決方法來減少損失。婚姻不易，不能虛情假意，需要巨大的付出。會有挫折，不能事事如意，偶爾你還會難受。這就是生活，這就是婚姻，我們如何應對纔是最重要的。我認爲婚姻很神聖，因爲其實它是世界上最難的，而且它揭示了我們人性中的所有特點。I continue to love, respect and care for my wife. I am thankful for our time together.
我會繼續去愛、尊重、關心我的妻子，我很感激我們在一起的日子。
