這些跡象表明你需要進行夫妻治療

You're still arguing about who loads the dishwasher the right way. Sharing your home with someone else is bound to lead to differences and frustrations. But if you're bitching about the same thing repeatedly-you know, about how he can't (for the life of him!) turn the cookie sheet the right way in the damn dishwasher-you might need to find a better way to express yourself. "Often when a couple has an argument that never gets resolved, they aren't talking to each other in the right way," says Walfish. "They're screaming, yelling and attacking, and then going silent because they don't feel heard."

你們還在爭論到底是誰正確的安裝了洗碗機。與他人住在一起肯定會有不同、也會有沮喪。但如果你總是反覆的嘮叨同一件事--你知道的，關於爲什麼他就是不能在洗碗機把餅乾紙放好（一直都不能！）--那你最好以一種更好的方式向他表達。"通常，當夫妻的爭論永遠都無法得到解決時，他們是不會對彼此好言好語的，" Walfish說。"他們會尖叫、大喊、互相攻擊、最終會因爲感覺沒人聽自己說話而陷入沉默。"

By going to a therapist, Walfish says you can finally figure out how to illustrate your feelings in a way that your partner can understand-so instead of screaming and slamming the baking sheet into the "correct" position, which can make him shut down, you'll learn that saying something like, "Sweetie, you may not think it's a big deal, but loading the cookie sheet this way isn't getting it fully clean, and that bugs me." Then you can talk about why.

Walfish說如果去找治療師，你們會最終理清該如何以另一半聽得懂的方式表達自己的感情--所以與其尖叫着將烘焙紙放"正確"，讓他閉嘴，你會發現說這些話會更好"親愛的，也許你覺得這不是大事，但這樣放餅乾紙不會完全洗乾淨，這真的讓我很困擾。" 之後你再解釋原因。

Either way, "a therapist can take the couple through the conflict in slow motion and not allow them to sweep issues under the rug," says Walfish. "Hashing through the details, however long that takes, is the only way to put the problem behind you."

不管如何，"治療師可以幫助夫妻慢慢的解決衝突，不會讓他們對衝突避而不談，" Walfish說。"反覆談論細節是解決問題的唯一方式，不管這需要多久。"

You're nicer to your colleague than you are to your partner. If it's easier to have small talk with the girl who's always stealing your business ideas than it is with the man you share a life with, you may need to figure out why you're icing your partner out. Sex therapist Vanessa Marin says that when you notice yourself retreating into personal affairs instead of making an effort to share experiences with your husband, you're ignoring bigger issues.

你對同事的態度都比對自己的伴侶好。如果你覺得與總是搶你生意的女生談話比與和你共度一生的人交談還要容易，那你就需要反思爲什麼你要冷落自己的另一半了。性治療師凡妮莎·馬林說道，當你意識到自己陷入個人事務並且在與丈夫分享自己的經歷方面不再做努力時，你忽視了更大的問題。

You may not even realize you're doing it, so consider this situation: Your day started with a manic drive to your kid's school. Then at work, you never felt like you had enough coffee or that you were nailing it with clients like you used to. Even worse, it was your husband's turn to pick up the kids, but he's stuck in a meeting so you have to leave early to get them.

你甚至都沒有意識到你這麼做了，所以考慮一下這種情況：你的一天從狂躁的開車送孩子上學開始。然後，工作時，你覺得咖啡永遠都喝不夠，覺得自己不能像以前那樣搞定客戶。更糟糕的是，今天本該輪到你老公去接孩子，但他卻在開會不能脫身，因此你不得不早點下班去接孩子。