不該問男朋友的8個問題
1. "Should I get my hair cut?" Yes? No? We like ... your hair? If you're just taking half an inch off or something, we're not even going to notice (unless you already have your hair short ... like half an inch short). This is just putting us in a situation where three things could happen: We say "yes," and you get offended because we don't like your hair as is. We say "no," and you cut it anyway. Or we both happen to agree. None of those situations are constructive and at least one ends in you getting mad at us.
2. "Which dress looks best?" Our answer is always going to be the one that shows off your cleavage the most and then you're going to get mad we chose that one.
2. “哪條裙子更好看呢？”我們總是挑那條露出事業線的裙子，然後你就會發飆。3. "Do you want to come to my mom's birthday party?" No. We're going to go because we're obligated, but we'd rather stay home and screw around. Please don't tease us with the illusion of choice. Just tell us what day it is.
3. “你要不要參加我母親的生日聚會？”不。但我們還是會去的，因爲我們有這個義務啊，但我們更想待在家裏四處亂走。不要嘲笑我們的選擇幻想，只要告訴我們日期就行了。
4. Literally anything about your weight. Anything. You're good. You look good. And if you're asking, you're not going to believe us anyway. Just don't sweat it.
4. 任何有關你體重的事情都不要問！不管是什麼，在我眼裏你都很好看，很健康。如果你問的話，你也不會相信我們。只要別逼問我們就行了。5. "Did your ex do this better?" As far as we're concerned, our ex is dead to us so it doesn't matter.
5. “你的前任是不是做的更好啊？”就男生而言，我們認爲前任已經不存在了，一點都不重要。6. "Do find Jennifer Lawrence attractive?" Please don't ask this, because the answer is "yes" and you don't want to hear us say "yes" and we're also bad liars. Plus, it doesn't mean we don't like you. It just means we have eyes.
6. “你覺得大表姐（詹妮弗•勞倫斯）吸引人嗎？”請千萬別問這個，因爲答案肯定是“當然”，但你又不想聽到這個答案，而且我們撒謊技術又不行。另外，這並不表示我們不喜歡你。這只是意味着我們的眼睛不會騙人。7. "Notice anything different?" The only time you should ask this question is if you literally want your boyfriend to shit his pants for some reason. We probably don't know, unless it's something incredibly obvious like you dyed your hair a (drastically) different color or surgically grafted your iPhone to your face. Please don't make us guess.
7. “有沒有注意到我有什麼變化？”你問這個問題的唯一時機就是你真的想嚇壞你的男票。我們可能不會注意到，除非你真的做了一些什麼明顯的事情，比如很誇張的染了頭髮或是動了手術將蘋果手機嫁接到了你的臉上。可別讓我們猜了。8. "What are you thinking about?" Something stupid. It's always something stupid and the reason we don't want to tell you is that it would take way too long to explain. It's not because we were thinking of breaking up with you or even about you at all. We were honestly daydreaming about the dumbest thing ever and it isn't worth explaining.
8. “你在想什麼？”想一些很蠢的事情。我們想的總是無關緊要的事情，我們不想告訴你是因爲要花很長的時間來解釋。我們並不是在想與你分手，甚至所想的事情完全與你無關。我們只是在做白日夢，想一些很蠢的事情，根本就不值得解釋。
