這11種老生常談的身體語言會害了你
It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
重點不在於你說了什麼，而在於你怎麼說。
It's an old cliché, but it's true. That's why body language is such a crucial part of communicating. The way you act can warp the entire meaning of what you're saying.
這是老生常談，但卻是一條真理。身體語言在溝通交流中是非常關鍵的一部分，你的身體語言甚至可以使你的話偏離本意。
That being said, bad body language habits are the often hardest habits to break. We become so accustomed to slouching, averting our eyes, or folding our arms that we barely even notice what we're doing.
儘管如此，不好的身體語言習慣往往是最難改掉的惡習。我們太習慣於懶散的坐姿、說話時不直視他人，將雙臂交叉抱於胸前，以至於自己都意識不到這些習慣的存在。
Here are several body language mistakes that are going to be tough to ditch. Still, if you're able to quit them, you'll definitely thank yourself later.
以下是11種很難改掉的身體語言錯誤。不過，如果你能改掉它們，你以後會爲此而慶幸。
Fidgeting
坐立不安
If you've gotten into the habit of fidgeting, it can be difficult to snap out of it. However, it's important to take steps to reigning in this nervous habit.
如果你沒事就愛抖腿，那麼要改掉這個習慣將會很難。但是，採取措施來遏制這個神經質的習慣很重要。
Fidgeting demonstrates nervousness and a lack of power, as body language expert and "The Power of Body Language" author Tonya Reiman previously told Business Insider.
身體語言專家、《身體語言的力量》作者託尼婭•雷曼早前曾告訴《商業內幕》說，抖腿表現出一個人的緊張不安和弱勢。
playing with your hair
玩弄頭髮
Leave your hair alone. Constantly running your hands across your scalp and twirling your locks is pretty distracting. Plus, as ABC reported, it can damage your hair overtime. It can be hard to quit, so try playing around a stress ball instead of your hair.
別弄你的頭髮了。不停地捋頭髮和捻髮梢相當令人分神。而且，據美國廣播公司報道，長期這麼做會損害你的髮質。這種習慣很難改掉，所以最好還是放過頭髮，試着去玩壓力球吧。
Adopting a defensive pose
防禦性姿勢
Many people naturally cross their arms or hunch over a bit just because they don't know what to do with their hands.
許多人很自然地把雙臂交叉或是用雙臂支着前傾的身體，只是因爲他們不知道該拿自己的手怎麼辦。
However, this posture can make you look uncomfortable, defensive, or untrustworthy.
然而，這種姿勢卻會讓你看起來不舒服、處於防禦狀態，或不值得信任。
"You should always keep your hands in view when you are talking," Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of "SNAP: Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma," previously told Business Insider. When a listener can't see your hands, they wonder what you are hiding."
身體語言專家、《快速入門：用身體語言營造最佳第一印象和個人魅力》的作者帕蒂•伍德曾告訴《商業內幕》說：“在談話的時候，你應該始終把手放在別人看得到的地方。如果聽衆看不到你的手，他們會好奇你在隱藏什麼。”
Doing weird things with your hands
做一些古怪的手勢
To gesture or not to gesture? That is the question.
做手勢還是不做手勢？這是個問題。
Some people keep too still while speaking, while others flail all over the place.
有些人在講話的時候呆立不動，而有些人則是雙手亂舞。
As the Washington Post previously reported, behavioral consultant Vanessa Van Edwards notes that using hand gestures while speaking is actually an effective way to engage your audience.
據《華盛頓郵報》先前的報道，行爲顧問瓦內莎•凡•愛德華茲指出，講話時做手勢是吸引觀衆注意力的一種有效的方法。
The trick is, avoiding the hand gestures that will trip you up. Don't point, don't pretend to conduct an imaginary orchestra (seriously), and don't get too choreographed.
訣竅在於，避免那些會讓你出錯的手勢。不要指來指去、不要假裝在指揮一場想象中的交響樂（我可不是在開玩笑），不要刻意設計動作。
Shuffling instead of walking
拖着腳走而不是好好走路
Humans are pretty judgmental creatures. We think we can tell a lot about someone based on snap judgments over something as simple as their manner of walking.
人類是很喜歡指摘評判的生物。我們以爲自己單單憑藉走路姿勢這種簡單小事就能夠以小見大。
As BBC reported, how we walk can actually determine our risk of being mugged.
據BBC報道，我們的走路姿勢事實上能夠決定我們被搶劫的風險。
It can be hard to change up your walk once you've fallen into bad habits, but it's important to walk with confidence and coordination. Don't shuffle through life.
一旦你形成不好的走路習慣，要改變走路姿勢確實很難，但是自信協調地走路真的很重要。不要拖着腳步渾渾噩噩度日。
Forgetting to smile
忘記微笑
Reiman previously told Business Insider that smiling demonstrates confidence, openness, warmth, and energy.
雷曼早前曾告訴《商業內幕》說，微笑展示出一個人的自信、開放、熱情和活力。
"It also sets off the mirror neurons in your listener, instructing them to smile back. Without the smile, an individual is often seen as grim or aloof," she explained.
她解釋說：“微笑還能觸發聽衆的鏡像神經元，引導他們同樣微笑以對。如果臉上沒有笑意，一個人看上去就顯得陰沉高冷。”
Appearing distracted
看上去心不在焉
There's nothing more irritating than talking to someone who's clearly not paying attention to you.
再沒有什麼比對着一個心不在焉的人說話更讓人惱火的事情了。
Some people are just naturally distracted or busy, so it can be tempting to check your phone or watch at every available moment. Still, you've got to keep this impulse in check when you're around others. Otherwise, you'll just come across as a rude and uncaring person.
有些人只是被其他事分心或太忙所以才心不在焉，這種情況下人們很容易時不時地查看手機或手錶。但是，當你和別人在一起時，你還是要遏制住這種衝動。否則你在別人看來將是一個無禮的沒心沒肺的人。
Slouching
彎腰駝背
Stand up straight. Terrible posture is easy to develop, especially if you're slouched over a desk for the majority of the day.
站直了。一個人很容易養成糟糕的站姿和坐姿，尤其是當一個人一天的大多數時間都伏案辦公的情況下。
Slouching doesn't just make you look un-confident, writes Catherine New for Psychology Today, it's also bad for your back. Improve your health and the image you present to the world by standing up straight.
《今日心理學》的撰稿作者卡瑟琳•紐寫道，彎腰駝背不僅讓你看起來不自信，而且對你的背部也有損害。站直既可以改善你的健康，也可以提升你的個人形象。
Nonexistent or aggressive eye contact
沒有眼神交流或是咄咄逼人的眼神交流
Here's another body language pitfall where moderation is key.
這是身體語言的另外一大陷阱，關鍵在於溫和適度。
"What Your Body Says (And How to Master the Message)" author Sharon Sayler previously told Business Insider that the ideal amount of eye contact should be "a series of long glances instead of intense stares."
《你的身體在說什麼（如何掌控身體語言）》的作者莎倫•塞勒曾告訴《商業內幕》，理想的眼神交流應該是“有間隔的掃視而不是深深的凝視”。
Overly long stares can make whoever you're talking to pretty uncomfortable. On the other hand, averting your eyes indicates disgust or a lack of confidence.
過長的凝視會讓對方感到相當不舒服。另一方面，避免眼神交流則傳達出你的厭惡或缺乏自信。
Being too still
呆立不動
It's definitely good not to be jumping all over the place, constantly. However, you don't want to be too eerily calm during conversations. This may make people feel uneasy, or that you're not interested in what they're saying.
上躥下跳的當然不好。但是，談話當中你也不能表現得過於呆滯。這會讓人們感到不安，或認爲你對他們所說的不感興趣。
Instead, try to mirror the person you're speaking with. Don't mimic them — they'll probably get offended by that — but subtly copy some of their gestures and expressions.
你應該試着去應和對方。不是模仿他們——這可能會激怒對方——而是微妙地重複一些他們的動作和表情。
Writing for Psychology Today, Dr. Jeff Thompson notes that mirroring will leave people perceiving you as positive and persuasive.
傑夫•湯姆森博士在給《今日心理學》撰寫的稿件中提到，應和對方會給人留下積極、有說服力的印象。
It can be tough to break out of your poker face, especially if you're just naturally not that expressive — but it's worth trying, since it can improve how you're perceived.
要擺脫一本正經的“撲克臉”確實很難，尤其是如果你天生表情就不豐富的話，但這值得去嘗試着改變，因爲這能改善你在他人心目中的印象。
Mismatching verbal and non-verbal communication
身體語言和說話內容不搭
You might be saying all the right things — but if your body language doesn't match up with your words, you might end up rubbing people the wrong way.
你也許說的每一句話都沒錯，但如果你的身體語言和你說出的話不搭，你可能就會把別人惹毛了。
In fact, researchers at Sacred Heart University devoted an entire study to this phenomenon. Their subjects were married couples, but their finding was pretty universal — when verbal and non-verbal messages do not align, "nonverbal signals carry the brunt of the emotional message."
事實上，聖心大學曾經專門研究過這種現象。他們的研究主體是已婚夫婦，但是研究結果卻可以廣泛地應用於其他人——當口頭和身體所傳達出的信息不一致時，“人們主要看身體語言所傳達的情感信息”。
