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紐約人的日常對話

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While listening in on strangers conversations should still be considered rude and intrusive, sometimes you can't help but pick up a juicy snippet of gossip, completely out of context, that is just comedy gold.

紐約人的日常對話
偷聽陌生人說話會被認爲是粗魯,侵犯性的行爲,儘管如此,有時候你還是會情不自禁地想收集點八卦的好材料,發現自己沒頭沒尾的聽到了非常經典的笑料。

People are taking to Twitter in their thousands to document these random overheard conversations, and while this may suck in terms of our privacy when out among strangers, its certainly good for a laugh on the internet!

網友們在社交網上分享了數千條消息,共同記錄下這些偶然中聽到的段子。雖然這可能有點兒不利於維護隱私權,但對其他人來說,在網上看到這些段子,一定會開懷大笑一番。

Scroll down below to check out some of the best, compiled in a list. And don't forget to vote for your favorites!

往下翻,看看這張精選的最佳段子清單。別忘了給你最喜歡的一個投票喲。

heard 15 year old niece fighting with her friend: you think I can’t live without you? Who do you think you are? My phone charger?

偶然聽到我15歲的侄女跟朋友吵架,你以爲我沒了你就不行嗎?你以爲你是誰?我的充電器?

2.I was at a party and a drunk girl passed me on herphone, crying, “I’m trying to find Marco, but people keep yeling back Polo…”

我在一個趴體上,一個喝醉酒的女孩讓我接電話:“我想找到馬可,可是總有人對我喊波羅。”

heard at a gas station:

偶然在加油站聽到:

Clerk 1: Janet workedlast night, didn’t she?

員工甲:昨天晚上是Janet值班,對不對?

Clerk 2: yeah why?

員工乙:是呀,怎麼了?

Clerk 1: The candy is organized by color again.

員工甲:糖果又是按顏色分類放的。

Clerk 2: Dammit Janet.

員工乙:該死的Janet。

4.“See young people do taichi !”

“看,有年輕人在打太極拳!”

“No Mom, I think she’s looking for a wifi signal.”

“不,媽媽,我覺得她是在找無線網絡信號。”

y my wife was at Costco when she overheard a conversation between a 70-something white man and a 40-something Asian man.

今天我的妻子去好市多量販店,她偶然聽到兩人的對話,對話雙方是一個70多歲的白種人和一個40多歲的亞洲人。

The converstaion went as follows, and has us both disgusted but also cheering:

對話是這樣的,我們聽着有點兒反感,但同時又覺得有點欣慰。

Older White Man: Do you know of any good Chinese restaurant?

白種人老爺爺:你知道什麼好的中餐廳嗎?

Asian Man: I’m not sure, maybe Jingdu.( local restaurant )

亞洲男人:我不太確定,京都飯店還行吧。

Older White Man: Do you work there?

白種人老爺爺:你在那兒工作嗎?

Asian Man: No sir, I do not.

亞洲男人:不,先生,我不在那兒上班。

Older White Man: No? Do you even know who our President is ?

白種人老爺爺:不在那兒上班?你知道我們的總統是誰嗎?

Asian Man:亞洲男人:Yes sir, I sure do(slightly chuckle)

是的,先生,我當然知道。(乾笑)

Older White Man: Sure, you do…what, do you even do for work then?

白種人老爺爺:哦,你當然知道。那你到底是幹什麼活計的呢?

Asian Man: Sir, I am a cardiac surgeon in the emergency room. Why do you ask?

亞洲男人:我是急診室裏的心臟外科手術醫生。你這麼問是什麼意思?

Older White Man:Eyes widen and he walks away.

白種人老爺爺:(瞪大眼睛走開了。)

6.I once overheard two old Latinas at the store saying how they wanted to grab a man’s butt. O speak Spanish. It was mu butt.

聽到商店裏兩個拉丁裔的老年人說他們想要抓一個男人的屁股。我說的是西班牙語。他們是說我的屁股。

heard a trainer at the gym this moring: “honey listen. Life does’t get better. You get better.” Oh how much I love that.

早上聽到健身房裏的陪練這樣說:“聽着甜心,生活不會變的更好,但你可以變的更好。”我真喜歡這句話。

heard from child on playground:”I’m sad. Wait. There’s nothing to be sad about. Okay, I’mhappy!”

偶然聽到遊樂場上的孩子這樣說道:“我很難過。等等,好像沒什麼事可難過的。好吧,我很開心!”

al I quote I overheard my 7 year old daughter say when she met someone at the park today. “I’m Isabella. I’m good at gymnastics and fighting to the death.”

真人真事。我7歲的女兒今天早上在公園裏和別人打招呼時這樣說道:“我叫Isabella,我擅長體操,還擅長戰死沙場。”

10.I once overheard the cop who pulled me over whisper into his radio:” not our guy. This one’s got pants”

一個交警讓我停在路邊,我聽到他對對講機裏說:“不是我們要找的人。這個人穿了褲子。”