《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 14 (26):意大利語學習班開課

First, though, I must get settled into school. My classes begin today at the Leonardo da Vinci Academy of Language Studies, where I will be studying Italian five days a week, four hours a day. I'm so excited about school. I'm such a shameless student. I laid my clothes out last night, just like I did before my first day of first grade, with my patent leather shoes and my new lunch box. I hope the teacher will like me.

不過，首先，我得料理學校的事。我在達•芬奇語言學院（Leonardo da Vinci Academy of Language Studies）的意大利語課今天開課，每星期五天、每天四個小時。上學很讓我興奮。我是個毫不怕羞的學生。昨晚我把我的衣服擺出來，就像我在小學一年級開學前一天，擺好我的漆皮皮鞋和新便當盒一般。希望老師會喜歡我。

We all have to take a test on the first day at Leonardo da Vinci, in order to be placed in the proper level of Italian class for our abilities. When I hear this, I immediately start hoping I don't place into a Level One class, because that would be humiliating, given that I already took a whole entire semester of Italian at my Night School for Divorced Ladies in New York, and that I spent the summer memorizing flash cards, and that I've already been in Rome a week, and have been practicing the language in person, even conversing with old grandmothers about divorce. The thing is, I don't even know how many levels this school has, but as soon as I heard the word level, I decided that I must test into Level Two—at least.

在達芬•奇的第一天，我們每個人都必須進行測驗，以按照能力分派到適當的意大利語班別。我一聽，立即開始期望自己不要被分配到初級班，因爲這是很不光彩的事，畢竟我已在紐約的“離婚女子夜校”上了一整個學期的意大利語課，背了一整個夏天的生字卡，而且在羅馬已待了一個禮拜，已實地練習語言，甚至和老祖母聊過了離婚。事實上，我根本不曉得這學校分多少級別，但我一聽見“分級”，便立即決定至少得考進二級班才行。

So it's hammering down rain today, and I show up to school early (like I always have—geek!) and I take the test. It's such a hard test! I can't get through even a tenth of it! I know so much Italian, I know dozens of words in Italian, but they don't ask me anything that I know. Then there's an oral exam, which is even worse. There's this skinny Italian teacher interviewing me and speaking way too fast, in my opinion, and I should be doing so much better than this but I'm nervous and making mistakes with stuff I already know (like, why did I say Vado a scuola instead of Sono andata a scuola? I know that!).

那天傾盆大雨，而我早早就到了學校（我向來如此——怪胎！），做了測驗。真困難的測驗！我甚至沒辦法完成十分之一！我知道很多意大利文，我認識成打的意大利單字，但我懂得的，他們都沒考。接着是口試，情況更慘。給我面試的是個削瘦的意大利老師，依我看來，話說得太快，而我本該表現得更好，卻因爲緊張，明明早已知道的東西也出了錯（比方說，我幹嘛不說“我要去上學Sono andata，卻說“我上學”Vado a scuola？我明明知道的呀！）。

In the end, it's OK, though. The skinny Italian teacher looks over my exam and selects my class level: Level TWO!

結果卻是還好。意大利瘦老師檢查了我的試卷，給了我的級別——二級班！

Classes begin in the afternoon. So I go eat lunch (roasted endive) then saunter back to the school and smugly walk past all those Level One students (who must be molto stupido, really) and enter my first class. With my peers. Except that it becomes swiftly evident that these are not my peers and that I have no business being here because Level Two is really impossibly hard. I feel like I’m swimming, but barely. Like I'm taking in water with every breath. The teacher, a skinny guy (why are the teachers so skinny here? I don't trust skinny Italians), is going way too fast, skipping over whole chapters of the textbook, saying, "You already know this, you already know that . . ." and keeping up a rapid-fire conversation with my apparently fluent classmates. My stomach is gripped in horror and I'm gasping for air and praying he won’t call on me. Just as soon as the break comes, I run out of that classroom on wobbling legs and I scurry all the way over to the administrative office almost in tears, where I beg in very clear English if they could please move me down to a Level One class. And so they do. And now I am here.

課程在下午開始。於是我去吃午飯（烤萵苣），而後漫步回校，得意洋洋地從初級班學生面前走過（他們肯定“molto stupido”很笨），我和程度與我相當的同學們一起走進第一堂課的教室。只不過，很快我就發現，他們不是和我程度相當的同學，我無權待在這個班，因爲二級班的課程困難得令人難以置信。我覺得像在游泳，卻遊得很勉強，就像每換一口氣就吃到水。瘦個子男老師（這兒的老師怎麼都這麼瘦？我不信任削瘦的意大利人）講話太快，跳過整章整章課文，說：“這個你們都會了，那個你們都會了。”……不斷跟我那些對答如流的同學們連珠炮似的對談。恐懼緊抓着我的胃，我喘着氣，祈禱他不會叫到我。下課時間一到，我就腳步踉蹌地跑出教室，幾乎淚眼汪汪地一路跑去行政辦公室，用非常清晰的英語乞求能否讓我換到初級班。他們這麼做了。於是現在我就在初級班。

This teacher is plump and speaks slowly. This is much better.

Eat, Pray, Love

老師是個胖子，講話速度慢。這好多了。