雙語幽默故事—大火爐

Once upon a time a man had a big house, and in the house there was a big oven1, but this man's family was smAll -- only himself and his wife. When winter came, the man tried to keep his oven going all day, so that the entire stock2 of his firewood was consumed3 in a month. Now, with nothing to feed the fire, it was cold in the house.

Then the man began to break up his fences, and use the boards for fuel. When he had burnt up all of his fences, the house, now without any protection against the wind, was colder than ever, and still they had no firewood. Then the man began to tear down the ceiling of his house, and burn that in the Oven.

從前，有個人擁有一幢大房子，裏面有個大火爐。可他家人口很少——只有他和他的妻子。冬天來了，這個人想盡辦法不讓爐子滅掉，一個月就把柴禾全燒光了。沒什麼可以燒的了，屋子裏很冷。

然後，他開始拆除籬笆，把木板當柴燒。燒了籬笆，房子沒有了擋風的屏障，比以前更冷了。可他們又沒有柴燒了。接下來，這個人開始拆除天花板，放進爐子裏燒。

A neighbour noticed that he was tearing down his ceiling, and said to him: "Why, neighbour, have you lost your mind -- pulling down your ceiling in winter? Your and your wife will freeze to death!'

But the man said: "No, brother, you see I am pulling down my ceiling so as to have something to heat my Oven with. We have such a curious one; the more I heat it up, the colder we are!"

鄰居看到他在拆天花板的，對他說：“哎呀，鄰居，你瘋了嗎?大冬天拆天花板，你和你妻子會凍死的。”

可是，這個人說：“不，兄弟，我拆天花板是爲了燒爐子。我們的爐子真是怪，越燒越冷!”

The neighbour laughed, and said: "Well, then, after you have burnt up your ceiling, then you will be tearing down your house. You won't have anywhere to live, only the oven will be left, and even that will be cold!" "Well, that is my misfortune," said the man." All my neighbours have firewood enough for all winter, but I have already burnt up my fences and the ceiling of my house, and have nothing left."

The neighbour replied:" All you need is to have your oven rebuilt." But the man said :" I know well that you are jealous4 of my house and my oven because they are larger than yours, and so you advise me to rebuild it." So he turned a deaf ear to his neighbour's advice, and burnt up his ceiling, then his whole house, and in the end had to go and live with strangers.

鄰居笑道;"哦，那麼，你燒完天花板就會拆房子了。那時你就沒地方住了，只剩下那隻火爐，可連它也是冰冷的。“哎，這是我的不幸，”這個人說，“所有的鄰居都有足夠的柴火過冬，而我已經燒掉了籬笆和天花板，什麼也不剩了。”

鄰居回答道：“你只要重弄個爐子就行了。”可是，這個人說：“我很清楚，你是嫉妒我的房子和爐子，它們比你家的大，所以你勸我重弄個爐子。”結果，他把鄰居的勸告當作耳邊風，燒掉天花板後，又把房子也給燒掉了。最後，他只得背井離鄉，流落異地。