遙遠的幸福(《安妮日記》節選)

SATURDAY, JUNE 20, 1942

1942年6月20日，星期六

Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me. Not only because I've never written anything before, but also because it seems to me that later on neither I nor anyone else will be interested in the musings of a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I feel like writing, and I have an even greater need to get all kinds of things off my chest.

寫日記對我來說真是個很奇怪的經歷，不只是因爲我從來沒寫過這種東西，更因爲我覺得我長大後或是別人都不會對一個13歲小女生的苦思冥想感興趣的。好吧，不管了，現在想寫就寫吧，現在的我更需要一吐爲快。

"Paper has more patience than people." I thought of this saying on one of those days when I was feeling a little depressed and was sitting at home with my chin in my hands, bored and listless, wondering whether to stay in or go out. I finally stayed where I was, brooding. Yes, paper does have more patience, and since I'm not planning to let anyone else read this stiff-backed notebook grandly referred to as a "diary," unless I should ever find a real friend, it probably won't make a bit of difference.

這兩天我覺得有點鬱悶的時候想到一句話“紙比人更有耐性”。我雙手托腮，倍感無聊又無精打采，心裏糾結着是要待在屋裏，還是出去。最後還是哪兒也沒去，陷入了沉思。的確，紙是比人更有耐性，然而我沒打算讓任何人看這本俗稱日記本的硬殼筆記本，除非我能夠找到一個真正的朋友，否則的話，也沒多大區別。

Now I'm back to the point that prompted me to keep a diary in the first place: I don't have a friend.

現在，我要談一談是什麼原因促使我寫日記的：因爲我沒有朋友。

Let me put it more clearly, since no one will believe that a thirteen year-old girl is completely alone in the world. And I'm not. I have loving parents and a sixteen-year-old sister, and there are about thirty people I can call friends. I have a throng of admirers who can't keep their adoring eyes off me and who sometimes have to resort to using a broken pocket mirror to try and catch a glimpse of me in the classroom. I have a family, loving aunts and a good home. No, on the surface I seem to have everything, except my one true friend. All I think about when I'm with friends is having a good time. I can't bring myself to talk about anything but ordinary everyday things. We don't seem to be able to get any closer, and that's the problem. Maybe it's my fault that we don't confide in each other. In any case, that's just how things are, and unfortunately they're not liable to change. This is why I've started the diary.

讓我說的更明白點兒吧，由於沒有人會相信一個13歲的女孩兒在這個世界上是完全無依無靠的，而我的確也不是。我有愛我的父母，一個16歲的姐姐，也有那麼30個左右能稱爲朋友的人。我還有一羣追求者，他們的視線始終無法從我身上移開，有時候還得通過鏡子碎片的反光才能看一眼我在教室裏的樣子。我還有家人，慈愛的嬸嬸和一個溫暖的家。表面上看起來我擁有一切，當然除了朋友。我能想到的和朋友們在一起的時間都是快樂的。我不想讓自己訴說那些每天都會發生的平凡瑣事了。問題是，我們心裏上的距離很遠。這也許是我的問題，因爲我們不能相互信任。不管怎麼說，事情就是這樣了。很不幸的是，情況也不會有什麼改變。這就是爲什麼我開始寫日記的原因。

To enhance the image of this long-awaited friend in my imagination, I don't want to jot down the facts in this diary the way most people would do, but I want the diary to be my friend, and I'm going to call this friend Kitty.

爲了提升想象中期盼已久的朋友形象，我並不想像大多數人那樣事無鉅細的在日記裏描述，而我希望的是日記能夠成爲我的朋友，我給她起名叫凱蒂。

Since no one would understand a word of my stories to Kitty if I were to plunge right in, I'd better provide a brief sketch of my life, much as I dislike doing so.

如果我直接進入主題的話，根本沒有人會明白我對凱蒂說的是什麼。所以儘管我不喜歡這樣，但還是最好簡單地介紹一下我的生活吧。

My father, the most adorable father I've ever seen, didn't marry my mother until he was thirty-six and she was twenty-five. My sister Margot was born in Frankfurt am Main in Germany in 1926. I was born on June 12, 1929. I lived in Frankfurt until I was four. Because we're Jewish, my father immigrated to Holland in 1933, when he became the Managing Director of the Dutch Opekta Company, which manufactures products used in making jam. My mother, Edith Hollander Frank, went with him to Holland in September, while Margot and I were sent to Aachen to stay with our grandmother. Margot went to Holland in December, and I followed in February, when I was plunked down on the table as a birthday present for Margot. I started right away at the Montessori nursery school. I stayed there until I was six, at which time I started first grade. In sixth grade my teacher was Mrs. Kuperus, the principal. At the end of the year we were both in tears as we said a heartbreaking farewell, because I'd been accepted at the Jewish Lyceum, where Margot also went to school.

我的爸爸，是我見過最可愛的爸爸，直到他36歲的時候才娶了個25歲的老婆，也就是我的媽媽。我姐姐瑪戈特1926年出生在德國美因河畔的法蘭克福。而我是1929年6月12日出生的。我一直在法蘭克福生活到4歲。因爲我們是猶太人，我爸爸在1933年移民到了荷蘭。當時，他已經是荷蘭歐佩克達公司的常務董事了，這個公司是生產製作果醬的過程中所用設備的。而我的媽媽名叫伊迪絲•霍蘭德•弗蘭克，9月的時候一起跟爸爸移民到了荷蘭，而當時我和姐姐被送到了外婆家。瑪戈特12月的時候到了荷蘭，緊接着第二年2月，我被當作是給Margot的生日禮物放也被帶到了荷蘭。後來我就讀了蒙特梭利幼兒園，一直在那裏讀到6歲，之後才上了小學一年級。我六年級時候的老師是科普盧斯夫人，她同時也是校長。六年級結束的時候，我和科普盧斯夫人都流下了離別的眼淚，因爲我被猶太公立中學錄取了，而瑪戈特也在那裏讀中學。

Our lives were not without anxiety, since our relatives in Germany were suffering under Hitler's anti-Jewish laws. After the pogroms in 1938 my two uncles (my mother's brothers) fled Germany, finding safe refuge in North America. My elderly grandmother came to live with us. She was seventy-three years old at the time.

我們的生活並不是無憂無慮的，因爲我們在德國的親戚仍然飽受希特勒反猶太教法律的迫害。在1938年對猶太人大屠殺後，我的兩個舅舅也逃離了德國，去北美洲避難。我年邁的外婆來到荷蘭與我們一起生活，當時她已經73歲了。

After May 1940 the good times were few and far between: first there was the war, then the capitulation and then the arrival of the Germans, which is when the trouble started for the Jews. Our freedom was severely restricted by a series of anti-Jewish decrees: Jews were required to wear a yellow star; Jews were required to turn in their bicycles; Jews were forbidden to use street-cars; Jews were forbidden to ride in cars, even their own; Jews were required to do their shopping between 3 and 5 P.M.; Jews were required to frequent only Jewish-owned barbershops and beauty parlors; Jews were forbidden to be out on the streets between 8 P.M. and 6 A.M.; Jews were forbidden to attend theaters, movies or any other forms of entertainment; Jews were forbidden to use swimming pools, tennis courts, hockey fields or any other athletic fields; Jews were forbidden to go rowing; Jews were forbidden to take part in any athletic activity in public; Jews were forbidden to sit in their gardens or those of their friends after 8 P.M.; Jews were forbidden to visit Christians in their homes; Jews were required to attend Jewish schools, etc. You couldn't do this and you couldn't do that, but life went on. Jacque always said to me, "I don't dare do anything anymore, 'cause I'm afraid it's not allowed."

1940年5月以後，幾乎就沒什麼好日子了。首先是第二次世界大戰打響了，緊接着是停火協議，之後德國人就來了。對於猶太人來說，這意味着麻煩開始了。我們的自由受到了反猶太法令的極大限制：猶太人必須要佩戴黃色的星星作爲標誌；猶太人必須上繳自己的自行車；猶太人禁止乘坐公共汽車；猶太人禁止乘坐小汽車，即使是自己的車也不行；猶太人只能在下午3點到5點的時候買東西；猶太人只能在猶太人經營的理髮店和美容院理髮或美容；猶太人在晚8點到早6點之間禁止上街；猶太人禁止進入戲院、電影院以及任何其他娛樂場所；猶太人禁止使用游泳池、網球場、曲棍球場以及其他任何運動場地；猶太人禁止划船；猶太人禁止在公共場合參與任何體育運動；猶太人禁止在晚8點以後出現在自己或朋友的花園中；猶太人禁止到基督教徒家裏拜訪；猶太人必須就讀猶太學校，等等。你這個也不能做，那個也不能做，但是生活仍舊得繼續。雅克經常跟我說：“我什麼都不敢做了，因爲怕違反了禁令。”

In the summer of 1941 Grandma got sick and had to have an operation, so my birthday passed with little celebration. In the summer of 1940 we didn't do much for my birthday either, since the fighting had just ended in Holland. Grandma died in January 1942. No one knows how often I think of her and still love her. This birthday celebration in 1942 was intended to make up for the others, and Grandma's candle was lit along with the rest.

1941年的夏天，外婆生病了必須要做手術，因此我的生日也幾乎沒有怎麼慶祝。1940年夏天荷蘭戰爭剛剛結束，因此那一年我的生日也沒怎麼慶祝。1942年1月，外婆去世了。沒有人知道我時常想念她，並且仍然很愛她。本來打算在我1942年生日會時彌補前兩年沒有慶祝生日的遺憾，在衆多生日蠟燭中有一支是專門爲悼念外婆而點的。