情感美文:愛的港灣 總有一天我會嫁給你

In Love's Arms

“I’m going to marry you one day.” Beth said to her long time crush Jake. She wore her favorite blue teddy bear shirt. Her four-year-old blue eyes shined in the sun.

“No you’re not, you’re a girl.” Jake said.

the California afternoon wind blew his light brown hair. Jumping off the monkey bars he laughed back to class.

Sitting alone and confused she didn’t know what to do. Beth sat high on the monkey bars crying. How can her future husband just leave like that?

She was going to get him, but how? “I will not let him get away! I won’t! I won’t!”

15 years later:

“I love you, too, Jake.” Hanging up the phone she caught her mom smiling. “What?”

“When is he Coming in from France? He’s been there for awhile.” She sat down on her black leather couch. The house was made up of different Indian stuff. On the walls were different dream catchers. Her mother was a full blood Cherokee Indian. She passed away when Beth was eight.

“He has a lot of schooling to do right now. Maybe this Saturday.”

Fixing her short overalls she thought of Jake. Who would have thought they were going to date when she turned five?

“Is he still living in Colorado?” Her mother Kay wore a white tank top with tan pants. And long blonde hair with pretty blue eyes. She was the most beautiful woman on Earth. And Beth is looking like her by the minute.

“Yeah, I hate having a long distance relationship.” She plopped on a leather chair.

“It’s ok baby, you know he loves you more than anything in this world. Love will keep you together.”

Beth could not help but smile. Her mother is and will always be her best friend.

Jake sat in his hotel the school rented for him. School of law. He loved going overseas for everything. But he missed being with Beth. That hurt him the most.

Spending the lonely nights in the hotel made him think of how much it would hurt to spend the rest of his life without her in it.

Getting up off his bed he went into the bathroom. Watching his reflection in the mirror, all he could think about was Beth. He would leave Thursday, and get there Friday night.

Turning off the light he jumped into the cold bed. On a coffee table near his bed rested a frame with them in it. It was taken at a beach about two years ago. It was the best time of their lives.

It was Thursday morning and Beth waited for Jake’s morning phone call. He would call at eight — it was ten.

Beth got out of bed and got her favorite blue tank top. She took off her shirt and screamed at the top of her lungs.

“What? What?” Her mother came rushing into her room. Staring at her naked daughter she saw the lump of her breast. “Does it hurt?”

Beth could only say “No.” Looking at the lump, she cried in pain.

“Let’s get you to the doctor.”

“Ok, let me get dressed.”

Shutting the door behind her, the room became silent. Shaking she put on her shirt, and ran out into the living room.

“Mom, where are my blue shorts?”

“In the dresser, second drawer.”

Finishing getting dressed she hopped into her car. Her red mustang drove like a baby.

they waited for the doctor to come in. Beth could not begin to think she had cancer. As her mind drifted off her cell phone rang.

“Hello?” Her heart skipped a beat, hoping it was Jake.

“Hey, how are you?” He asked out of breath.

“Could be better. Why didn’t you call me this morning?”

“Sorry, school got ahold of me today.”

“Why are you out of breath?” Looking stunned she stared at her mother.

“I’m so sorry, he’ll call back.” Her mother gave Beth a hug.

the doctor came in, and GREeted his self. “Hello. I’m Kevin Baker.” He smiled while examining her breast.

A few minutes went by while they waited for an answer. “Yeah, it’s cancer, it looks like it’s been there for a while.”

Jake sat in the waiting room, unsure about going in or not. He just waited, five minutes passed as he walked towards a CNA. “Hi. My girl friend is seeing a doctor right now, can I have the room number?”

She checked her files. “What’s her name?”

“Beth Fowley.” Jake looked around the waiting room.

“Jake!” Beth said surprised. She gave him a hug. He held her tightly, never wanting to let go of his angel. “I missed you so very much. I left last night; I could not stand being without you again.” He kissed her lips.

“I missed you, too.” Beth answered back.

“Let’s go home.” Kay hugged Jake.

Once they got home Jake grabbed her by the hand and sat her down.

“Beth, I loved you all my life. Ever since I saw you on the monkey bars, saying you were going to marry me. I knew I loved you. I can’t spend another lonely night at home without you being there. You make my life complete. Will you marry me, Beth?”

Tears of pain flooded her blue eyes. “I can’t marry you.” She shook her head, “I just can’t.”

Getting up, her mother tried stopping her. But Beth closed the door behind her. The door that she hid behind, hoping one day she could wake up, and the cancer could be gone. And Jake can have a wonderful life with her. Forever. How can he love someone that is going to die from cancer?

A week passed, message after message, Beth would not answer. Her mother would answer the phone every time he called. Jake had no idea what was going on. He needed to talk to Beth right away, and holding his phone calls was not going to help one bit. It couldn’t help the canyon deep whole in his heart that was full of pain.

He had to see her, whether she liked it or not. He had to tell her he didn’t care what happened to her, he still wanted to be with her. Getting dressed in his blue jean shorts, and his favorite white shirt she loved to see him in. He got into his car.

Reaching her door he looked in the driveway, her mother’s car was not there. Now she would have to face him, and not hide behind her mother. He knocked.

“Coming.” Beth answered, she opened the door. She wore a red robe with her name on it. She got from her grandma a few years ago.

“Please let me in, we need to talk.”

She could not be rude. they needed to talk alright, about how he was going to lose his only love to cancer. How was he going to take that? She opened the door wider, and he slowly walked in.

“I hate how you can’t talk to me. I hate that we can’t be together. Don’t you understand I love you?” He ran his hand through his brown hair frustrated. “You can tell me anything you need to. I’m here for you today, tomorrow, and forever. And you know this. Now what is wrong?”

He cradled her on the leather couch. All her fears, and pain went away for that moment. Nothing seemed to matter, but him and her, together, forever. A silent tear ran down her right cheek and landed on Jake’s shoulder.

“I love you, that’s why I have to let you go.” She wiped her tear. Jake hated to see her so upset; she was usually a strong willed person. Her coming down like this was not usual, and it freaked him out.

“Let me go? Come on, what’s wrong?” Jake held her tighter, giving her a light kiss on her cheek.

“I have breast cancer. I found out a few weeks ago. I don’t want to marry you, and have you get hurt…”

He stopped her words with the sweetest kiss man could make. All her doubts and fears slowly drifted away like the wind. Everything fell into place; they found the love they thought they had missed.

they will forever be in love’s arms.

愛的港灣--總有一天我會嫁給你

貝絲對她愛慕已久的傑克說：“總有一天我會嫁給你。”她穿着最喜歡的帶玩具熊的藍色襯衣。四歲的她，藍色的眼睛在陽光下閃閃發亮。

傑克說：“不，不行，你還是一個小女孩呢。”

加利福尼亞午後的微風吹拂着他淺棕色的頭髮。他從單槓上跳下來，一路笑着跑回了教室。

貝絲獨自坐在那裏，滿臉迷惑，不知所措。她坐在高高的單槓上哭起來。她未來的丈夫怎麼就這樣走開了呢？

她一定要得到他，但該怎麼做呢?“我不會讓他離開我！不會！絕不會！”

15年後

“我也愛你，傑克。”掛斷電話之後，她發現母親在笑。“怎麼了？”

母親坐在黑皮沙發上說道：“他什麼時候從法國回來啊？他在那裏待了有一陣子了。”整棟房子都是印度風格的設計，牆上掛滿了各種不同的捕夢網。母親的母親是純正的切羅基印第安血統。在貝絲八歲時她就去世了。

“他現在學業很繁重，可能要到這週六才行。”

整理短褲的時候，她突然想起了傑克。在她還是個五歲孩子時，誰會想到他們會約會呢？

“他還在科羅拉多嗎？”她母親凱穿着白色的背心和褐色的短褲。她有着長長的金髮和漂亮的藍眼睛。她是這個世界上最美麗的女人。貝絲長得越來越像她了。

“是的，我真討厭這種天各一方的感覺。”她一屁股坐在皮椅上。

“不要擔心，寶貝，你應該明白他愛你勝過世界上的其他任何東西。愛會使你們在一起的。”

貝絲禁不住笑了起來。母親現在是而且永遠都會是她最好的朋友。

傑克坐在學校爲他租的旅館裏。他讀的是法學院。他願意爲了任何事情出國。但他又非常想念貝絲。這令他非常痛苦。

在旅館度過一個個孤單的夜晚，使他體會到生活中沒有了她將是多麼痛苦。

他從牀上爬起來，走進浴室。看着鏡子裏的自己，腦子裏想的卻都是貝絲。他週四就要出發，週五晚上就能夠到達。

他關了燈，爬上冰冷的牀。在牀邊的咖啡桌上有一張他們兩人的照片。那是兩年前他們在海邊拍的。那是他們生命中最美好的一段時光。

週四早上，貝絲正在等傑克的電話。他通常會在八點打過來，但現在已經十點了。

貝絲下了牀，拿出自己最喜歡的那件藍色襯衣。她脫下睡衣，突然尖叫起來。

她母親衝進房間問道：“怎麼了？怎麼了？”看到女兒裸着身子，她注意到了她胸部的腫塊。“疼嗎？”

貝絲只是說“不”，她盯着那個腫塊，痛哭起來。

“走，我們去看醫生。”

“好吧，我穿上衣服。”

她關上了門，屋內一片寂靜。她顫抖着穿上了襯衣，突然跑回了客廳。

“媽媽，我的藍短褲呢？”

“在衣櫃裏，第二個抽屜。”

穿好衣服，她跳進汽車。她的紅色野馬脫繮而出。

在等待醫生的時候，貝絲禁不住懷疑自己得了癌症。正當她的思緒遊離的時候，手機響了。

“你好？”她的心跳加速，希望是傑克的電話。

“嘿，你好嗎？”他上氣不接下氣地問道。

“還不錯。你今天早上怎麼沒給我打電話？”

“對不起，今天學校事情比較多。”

“你怎麼氣喘吁吁的啊？”她突然感到有點頭暈，看了母親一眼。

母親擁抱着貝絲說：“真是可惜，不過他還會打過來的。”

這時，醫生進來並做了自我介紹：“您好，我是凱文·貝克。”在檢查她胸部的時候，他一直保持微笑。

幾分鐘過去了，她們等到了結果。“是的，是癌症。而且好像已經有一段時間了。”

傑克坐在候診室，不知道是否該進去。他一直在那裏等着，五分鐘之後，他走過去問一位助理護士：“你好，我女朋友在裏面做檢查。你能告訴我她的房間號嗎？”

她看了一下記錄，問道：“她叫什麼名字？”

傑克環顧了一下候診室，答道：“貝絲·福爾利。”

“傑克！”貝絲吃驚地喊道。她跑過去抱住他。他將她緊緊地擁在懷裏，好像永遠不想讓他的天使飛走。“我太想你了，我昨天晚上就出發了。我再也無法忍受沒有你的日子了。”他親吻了她的雙脣。

貝絲回答道：“我也想你。”

凱擁抱了一下傑克說：“我們回家吧。”

他們一回到家，傑克就抓着她的手，讓她坐下來。

“貝絲，我愛你，一輩子。自從我在單槓上看到你的那天，你對我說要嫁給我開始，我就知道我愛上了你。沒有你在我身邊，我無法忍受獨自度過哪怕一個夜晚。你使我的生命變得完整。貝絲，嫁給我，好嗎？”

痛苦的眼淚涌出她藍色的眼睛，她搖着頭說：“我不能嫁給你，不能。”

母親從牀上起來，想去阻止她。但是貝絲關上了門。她躲在門後，希望有一天當她醒來後，癌症能夠消失。她能和傑克共同享受幸福的生活，直到永遠。但是，他怎麼可能愛一個即將死於癌症的人呢？

一週過去了，一條條的信息，貝絲都沒有回覆。每次傑克打來電話都是母親去接。傑克不知道怎麼回事。他需要馬上和貝絲談談，打電話已經解決不了任何問題。這無法填平他內心身處痛苦的峽谷。

他必須親自見她，不論她喜歡與否。他要告訴她自己不在乎發生在她身上的任何事情。他仍然希望能與她在一起。他穿上了藍色牛仔短褲，還有那件他最愛的白襯衣，她最喜歡看他穿這件衣服。然後，他上了車。

來到她的家門，他看了一下車道。她母親的車不在。這次她必須要面對他，沒法躲在母親身後了。他敲了敲門。

“來啦，”貝絲說着，打開了門。她穿着一件紅色的睡袍，上面繡着自己的名字。那是幾年前，她祖母送給她的。

“請讓我進去，我們需要談談。”

她不能粗魯無禮。他們確實需要好好談談，談談他將如何看着自己惟一的愛人被癌症奪走。讓他如何接受？她把門開大些，他慢慢走了進來。

“我不知道你爲什麼不和我談。我不知道爲什麼我們不能在一起。難道你不知道我有多愛你嗎？”他失落地把手插進棕色的頭髮裏，繼續說道：“你可以告訴我任何你要說的事情。我今天在這裏，明天，永遠都在這裏。你是知道的。但是，現在出了什麼問題？”

他輕輕地抱着她坐在沙發上。那一刻，她所有的恐懼、痛苦都消失了。世界上任何事情都無所謂，只要他們能夠永遠在一起。一行眼淚悄悄地從她的右臉頰上滴落，落在傑克的肩上。

她擦乾淚水，說道：“我愛你，但這正是我讓你離開我的原因。”傑克不願意看到她如此消沉。她是一個意志堅強的人。她從未像現在這樣失落，這使他產生了一種不祥的感覺。

“讓我離開？天哪，到底爲什麼？”傑克更緊地擁着她，在她的臉頰上輕輕地吻了一下。

“我得了乳癌，我也是在幾周前才知道。我不想嫁給你，因爲我不想讓你痛苦……”

他用男人最甜蜜的熱吻打斷了她的話。她所有的疑慮和恐懼像風一樣慢慢散去。所有的一切都恢復了正常，他們又找回了曾經以爲已經失去的愛情。

他們將永遠生活在愛的港灣。