經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第1章1

Chapter 1
That evening it was dark early, which was normAl for the time of year. It was cold and windy, which was normal.
It started to rain, which was particularly normal.
A spacecraft landed, which was not.
There was nobody around to see it except some spectacularly stupid quadrupeds who hadn’t the faintest idea what to make of it, or whether they were meant to make anything of it, or eat it, or what. So they did what they did to everything which was to run away from it and try to hide under each other, which never worked.
It slipped down out of the clouds, seemingly balanced on a single beam of light.
From a distance you would scarcely have noticed it through the lightning and the storm clouds, but seen from close to it was strangely beautiful – a grey craft of elegantly sculpted form: quite small.
Of course, one never has the slightest notion what size or shape different species are going to turn out to be, but if you were to take the findings of the latest Mid-Galactic Census report as any kind of accurate guide to statistical averages you would probably guess that the craft would hold about six people, and you would be right.
You’d probably guessed that anyway. The Census report, like most such surveys, had cost an awful lot of money and didn’t tell anybody anything they didn’t already know – except that every single person in the Galaxy had 2.4 legs and owned a hyena. Since this was clearly not true the whole thing had eventually to be scrapped.
The craft slid quietly down through the rain, its dim operating lights wrapping it in tasteful rainbows. It hummed very quietly, a hum which became gradually louder and deeper as it approached the ground, and which at an altitude of six inches became a heavy throb.
At last it dropped and was quiet.
A hatchway opened. A short flight of steps unfolded itself.
A light appeared in the opening, a bright light streaming out into the wet night, and shadows moved within.
A tall figure appeared in the light, looked around, flinched, and hurried down the steps, carrying a large shopping bag under its arm.
It turned and gave a single abrupt wave back at the ship. Already the rain was streaming through its hair.
– Thank you, – he called out, – thank you very…

第一章
天黑得早了，在一年中的這個時候是完全正常的。天很冷風很大，這也是正常的。
天上開始下雨了，這更是相當正常的。
一艘飛船降落了，這就不正常了。
周圍沒有任何人見到它，除了一些蠢得出奇的四足生物，它們不知道那個東西是什麼做的，或它們應該對那個東西做什麼，或是不是要吃掉它，或其它什麼最弱智的想法。於是它們做了它們對任何東西都會做的事，那就是逃得遠遠的，並且試着藏在對方的身體下，這一招從來就沒有用。
那艘飛船從雲中滑落，似乎是努力地在一束光上走鋼絲。
從遠處看，你幾乎不會注意到在一片閃電和風暴雲中的飛船，但是如果湊近了看，你會發現它有一種奇異的美——一艘有着優雅造型的灰色飛船：而且它非常小。
當然，你沒有任何最基本關於不同種族的尺寸或形狀的概念，但如果去採用最新的中央銀河調查報告中的成果作爲精確的平均數統計指導，你也許會猜測這艘飛船能載大約六個人。你是對的。
即使沒有那個報告，你可能也會做出那個推論的。那個調查報告，就像大多數這一類的調查一樣，花掉了一大坨的錢卻沒有告訴任何人任何他們此前還不知道的事——除了這一條：銀河系中每個人平均擁有2.4條腿和1只鬣狗。由於這一條很明顯也純粹是胡謅，所以整個報告最終就被大家無視掉了。
這艘飛船平靜地在雨中滑向地面，機身上模糊的指示燈使得飛船籠罩在一片誘人的絢爛彩虹中。它輕輕地嗡嗡作響，這一嗡嗡聲隨着飛船逐漸接近地面而逐漸響亮低沉，最終當飛船離地六英尺時，嗡嗡聲變成了震耳欲聾的轟鳴。
最終它落地了，沉寂了下來。
一個艙門打開，伸展出一小段臺階。
一片光亮從艙門透出來，一束耀眼的光射入了溼漉漉的夜晚，有陰影在移動。
一個高大的身影出現在亮光中，向四周瞅了瞅，畏縮了一下，隨後飛快地跑下了臺階，胳膊底下夾着一個購物袋。
那個東西轉過身，生硬地對飛船揮了一下手。雨已經打溼了它的頭髮。
“謝了！”它大聲喊着，“非常謝......”