經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第11章

So here I am. And what I would like to know, is how you know my name.
Perhaps we ought to first sort out, said Arthur, looking back over his shoulder as he eased his car into the motorway traffic, where I’m taking you.
Very close, he hoped, or long away. Close would mean she lived near him, a long way would mean he could drive her there.
I’d like to go to Taunton, she said, please. If that’s all right. It’s not far. You can drop me at…
You live in Taunton? he said, hoping that he’d managed to sound merely curious rather than ecstatic. Taunton was wonderfully close to him. He could…
No, London, she said. There’s a train in just under an hour.
It was the worst thing possible. Taunton was only minutes away up the motorway. He wondered what to do, and while he was wondering with horror heard himself saying: Oh, I can take you to London. Let me take you to London…
Bungling idiot. Why on Earth had he said “let” in that stupid way? He was behaving like a twelve-year-old.
Are you going to London? she asked.
I wasn’t, he said, but… Bungling idiot.
It’s very kind of you, she said, but really no. I like to go by train. And suddenly she was gone. Or rather, that part of her which brought her to life was gone. She looked rather distantly out of the window and hummed lightly to herself.
He couldn’t believe it.
Thirty seconds into the conversation, and already he’d blown it.
Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave like this.
Taunton 5 miles, said the signpost.
He gripped the steering wheel so tightly the car wobbled. He was going to have to do something dramatic.
Fenny, he said.
She glanced round sharply at him.
You still haven’t told me how…
Listen, said Arthur, I will tell you, though the story is rather strange. Very strange.
She was still looking at him, but said nothing.
Listen…
You said that.
Did I? Oh. There are things I must talk to you about, and things I must tell you… a story I must tell you which would… He was thrashing about. He wanted something along the lines of Thy knotted and combined locks to part, and each particular quill to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine but didn’t think he could carry it off and didn’t like the hedgehog reference.
…which would take more than five miles, he settled for in the end, rather lamely he was afraid.
Well…
Just supposing, he said, just supposing he didn’t know what was coming next, so he thought he’d just sit back and listen that there was some extraordinary way in which you were very important to me, and that, though you didn’t know it, I was very important to you, but it all went for nothing because we only had five miles and I was a stupid idiot at knowing how to say something very important to someone I’ve only just met and not crash into lorries at the same time, what would you say… he paused helplessly, and looked at her, I… should do?
Watch the road! she yelped.
Shit!
He narrowly avoided careering into the side of a hundred Italian washing machines in a German lorry.
I think, she said, with a momentary sigh of relief, you should buy me a drink before my train goes.

“這樣，我就來到了這兒。現在我想知道，你是怎麼知道我的名字的。”
“也許我們應該先弄清楚，”阿瑟說着，把頭轉過去讓車子安詳地開上高速路，“我要把你送到哪兒。”
非常近，他希望，或者非常遠。離着近意味着她住的離他近，離着遠則意味着他可以開車送她。
“我要去湯頓，”她說，“拜託了。如果可以的話。那裏不遠。你可以讓我在……”
“你住在湯頓？”他說着，暗地裏希望自己能把語氣中的狂喜掩飾爲好奇。湯頓離他家相當近。他可以……
“不，我住在倫敦，”她說。“在一小時內湯頓有班火車。”
這可能是最糟糕的事了。湯頓離高速路只有幾分鐘的車程。他思考着該怎麼辦。當他恐慌地瞎想時他聽見自己說：“哦，我可以載你去倫敦。讓我載你去倫敦吧……”
大白癡。蒼天啊，他怎麼能用這麼蠢的方式說“讓”這個詞？他他表現得就像一個十二歲小孩。
“你要去倫敦麼？”她問。
“不是，”他說，“不過……”大白癡。
“你真是個好人，”她說，“但真的不用了。我想坐火車去。”突然間她消失了。或者應該說，讓她重回人間的那部分消失了。她從窗子望向遠方，輕輕地哼着什麼。
他不敢相信。
只有三十秒的對話，他就把一切都搞砸了。
成年人，他對自己說着，幾個世紀以來積累下來的成年人的行爲證據表明，成年人不會幹這樣的事。
“湯頓 5”——路標顯示着。英里
他緊緊攥着方向盤，車子都隨之搖晃。他必須做點戲劇性的事了。
“芬妮，”他說。
她用銳利的目光略微掃視着他。
“你依然沒有告訴我你怎麼……”
“聽着，”阿瑟說，“我會告訴你的，儘管這個故事有些詭異。非常詭異。”
她仍然看着他，但沒說話。
“聽着……”
“你說過這句了。”
“我說過了？哦。有些事情我必須跟你談，有些事情我必須告訴你……一個我必須告訴你的故事，那個故事將……”他煩躁不安。他希望能夠說出諸如“你的糾結的鬈髮根根分開，像憤怒的豪豬身上的刺毛一樣森然聳立”（注）一樣的語言，但他認爲自己沒法艮下去，而且他不喜歡提到刺蝟。
“那個故事將需要不止五英里來講述，”他終於說完了，但他擔心這可能更糟。
“那麼……”
“只是假設，”他說，“只是假設”——他不知道下面是什麼，所以他想早知道還是不要說比較好——“假設你在某方面對我超乎尋常地重要，而且，雖然你不知道，但我對你非常重要，但是這一切都將化爲烏有因爲我們只剩下五英里的路程而且我是個大白癡，不知道該怎樣一邊避免撞上卡車一邊同時對一個我剛邂逅的人說一些非常重要的事。你會說什麼……”他無助地停下來，看着她，“我……該做什麼？”
“看着路！”她尖叫道。
“要命！”
他差點就一頭撞進一輛德國卡車裏的一百臺意大利洗衣機中。
“我認爲，”她解脫地嘆了一小口氣，“你應該在我的火車走之前請我喝一杯。”