經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第7章3

“You’re thinking along the wrong lines,” said Marvin, “You’re failing to take into account something fairly basic in the relationship between men and robots.”
“Er, I know,” said the battle machine, “is it…” it tailed off into thought again.
“Just think,” urged Marvin, “they left me, an ordinary, menial robot, to stop you, a gigantic heavy-duty battle machine, whilst they ran off to save themselves. What do you think they would leave me with?”
“Oooh, er,” muttered the machine in alarm, “something pretty damn devastating I should expect.”
“Expect!” said Marvin, “oh yes, expect. I’ll tell you what they gave me to protect myself with, shall I?”
“Yes, alright,” said the battle machine, bracing itself.
“Nothing,” said Marvin.
There was a dangerous pause.
“Nothing?” roared the battle machine.
“Nothing at all,” intoned Marvin dismally, “not an electronic sausage.”
The machine heaved about with fury.
“Well, doesn’t that just take the biscuit!” it roared, “Nothing, eh? Just don’t think, do they?”
“And me,” said Marvin in a soft low voice, “with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”
“Makes you spit, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” agreed Marvin with feeling.
“Hell, that makes me angry,” bellowed the machine, “think I’ll smash that wall down!”
The electron ram stabbed out another searing blaze of light and took out the wall next to the machine.
“How do you think I feel?” said Marvin bitterly.
“Just ran off and left you, did they?” the machine thundered.
“Yes,” said Marvin.
“I think I’ll shoot down their bloody ceiling as well!” raged the tank.
It took out the ceiling of the bridge.
“That’s very impressive,” murmured Marvin.
“You ain’t seeing nothing yet,” promised the machine, “I can take out this floor too, no trouble!”
It took out the floor, too.
“Hell’s bells!” the machine roared as it plummeted fifteen storeys and smashed itself to bits on the ground below.
“What a depressingly stupid machine,” said Marvin and trudged away.

“你考慮的方向完全錯了。”馬文說，“你應該多想想人類和機器人之間的關係，其中有一些相當基本的東西。”
“嗯，我知道了，”戰鬥機器說，“是不是……？”聲音逐漸減弱，它又陷入了思考。
“好好想想。”馬文鼓勵它說，“他們把我留下來。讓我，一個普普通通的機器僕人，來阻止你，一臺肩負重要使命的巨型戰鬥機器。而他們自己卻跑掉逃命去了。你認爲他們會留給我什麼東西呢？”
“哦，呃，嗯，”機器警覺地咕噥道，“一定是某種威力強得嚇死人的毀滅性武器。我早該料到這一點的。”
“料到！”馬文說，“噢，是的，料到。想不想讓我告訴你，他們給了我什麼東西來保護我自己？”
“是的，太好了。”戰鬥機器精神一振。
“什麼都沒有。”馬文說。
然後是一陣危險的停頓。
“什麼也沒有？”戰鬥機器咆哮道。
“根本什麼也沒有。”馬文拖長聲調，淒涼地說，“連根電子香腸都沒有。”
機器因爲狂怒而喘息着。
“哼，哪怕有根電子香腸也好啊，總比餅乾強！”它繼續咆哮道。“什麼也沒有，嗯？他們根本沒想過我們，對嗎？”
“而我，”馬文有氣無力地低聲說到，“我左側身子下部所有的二極管都疼得要命。”
“所以更應該扔掉你？”
“他們是這樣想的。”馬文由衷地說。
“該死，我太憤怒了。”機器吼了一句，“氣得我想把那堵牆打個粉碎！”
說着，它的電擊刺又發出一道灼熱的亮光，摧毀了旁邊的一堵牆。
“連你都這麼生氣，你覺得我會作何感想？”馬文苦澀地問。
“他們就這樣逃掉了，撇下你，是嗎？”機器轟鳴着說。
“是啊。”馬文說。
“氣得我想把天花板也打個粉碎！”坦克咆哮道。
說着它摧毀了拱廊橋的天花板。
“我真是大開眼界。”馬文喃喃地說。
“你還沒看見真格的呢，”機器向他保證道，“我甚至能摧毀橋面，不費吹灰之力！”
然後它真的摧毀了橋面。
“真他媽見鬼！”機器咆哮着，從十五層樓上直直墜了下去，在下邊的地面上摔得粉碎。
“真是一臺蠢得讓人傷心的機器。”馬文扔下一句，拖着沉重的步子走開了。